As I sauntered along the old road leading to the watchtower, I cast my eyes along the road and from side to side, noting the signs and the stories they held. It is Spring, but early, and should still be quite frozen with much snow, but instead it is warm and the snow is all but gone...ice lingers in shady places, but for the most part the road is soft and clear of ice or snow. The weather has been very odd this past Winter. It does not bode well for the heat of Summer, promising to be extremely hot, or so some folk think.
Here I see a profusion of squirrel sign, a place where two squirrel disputed food and territory. There I see rabbit sign and every so often, deer tracks and scat are seen. As I ascend the the road, climbing to the top of the ridge I spy bobcat tracks in a muddy place near Roaring Brook. They are not new, but neither are they terribly old. It is an excellent thing to see. There are the usual profusion of dog and hound tracks; it is a favorite way for folk to walk and take their animals with them.
My Lady does not accompany me these days on account of a healing foot. She took a serious wound from an especially large and fierce weasel while trying to run him from the coop. The area of the right foot just behind the major toe suffered a serious injury requiring stitching and time off her feet. The weasel escaped without injury. No doubt he will return to the area of the crime. When she has healed she will accompany me once again.
The forested slopes of Mount Toby are peaceful, pierced with a number of trails. It is the highest point in the area known as the Sundered Lands. Indeed, from the watchtower at its summit one can see the entire area and well beyond, reaching as far as the Berkshire Mountains, and even the White Mountains to the North. Here in Franklinshire things are peaceful enough most of the time. But the watchtower stands silent testimony to the possibility of sudden and sometimes violent change.
I am noting game signs and food sources as I go. I will be expanding this activity as the year progresses until the season for hunting the larger game comes in the Autumn. For now, birds, small game, and the wily turkey are the targets. It is early in the year yet and the season decreed by the Lords of the land will not begin for another month at the least. Yet it is never too early to see what the prey is doing and what they are eating. Knowledge is, after all, power.
In my tunic and pants, hooded mantle and ankle boots I am comfortable enough. I carry my longbow, quiver, knife, and a bedroll with enough supplies for a day or two. The pewter badge that marks me as a member of St. Hubert's Rangers rests on my chest, as does the stylized bear that marks my Clan. I am on scout, and on patrol..and as always, preparing for the years' hunt.
The warmth that awaits me in Peperharow gives me the fortitude to handle whatever comes in the blustery weather of the day. It may be a lean year, if the crops are not good. Leaner still if the game is off. We will endure. It is what we do.
Lady Siani
Peperharow
The Sundered Lands
A Journey of Illumination and Discovery
Monday, February 27, 2012
Hunting Shadow at the end of Empire
Lots of things are going on; fuel prices, unrest, fear...the usual culprits...odd weather patterns, hatred and intolerance resurfacing. An ugly time. I trying year it will be.
I see it. I hear it. I note it. I do not let it dictate terms to me, although I do take counsel on the matters as they have an affect on me.
I have been doing a lot to sort the last of my preparatory endeavors (which should have been first) and I have to say that things are going well in this regard. I will be up on the Mountain again in an hour or so and the day will progress from there.
There is dance, yes indeed, and drumming, for a certainty. Yet there are other things as well.
There is archery and all the things related to it. Medieval hunting...I am still a member of St. Hubert's Rangers and I still treasure that deeply. I hope to go on official record with a kill this year...perhaps make at least Warrener status. There are arrows to complete, bowstrings to make, clothing and kit to repair or construct. Plenty to work on.
There is longhunting...hunting with flintlock and percussion rifles. I actually prefer the archery to be honest. For one thing I need no special permits to make the bows work. Yet.
Soon I will be making the Mountain treks in full Ranger kit...and that kit would fit equally well in Middle Earth as it would in a historic medieval setting in its essences. Decorative aspects being excepted as I have a passion for Elven decoration so some pieces would not really 'fit' in a medieval reenactment...for those pieces I have, or will have, proper alternatives.
I have no idea how long I will be able to walk with cased bow and full quiver before someone complains and I am forced to remove them. There are no rules against having them on the trails there, but it only takes one prey....ah, nervous person...to upset the apple cart. In which case I will substitute a simple stave for the bow and put unfinished shafts in the quiver...it won't be quite the same, but close. I could do that from the start, but a part of rebellious me hates the need.
What I won't have is a sword or spear....although my huntsman's knife will probably go along. I will have my sling. I would like to take some small game with the sling this year if I can.
I am a guild of one...hehehehehe....but that is fine by me. I like the actual hunt, rather than some make-believe version of it. To do that requires classes and time, and money for licenses and permits. At least it is still rather inexpensive for the licenses. Not so for firearms permits.
As February ends and March begins, and April looms on the horizon, I am more and more energized to finish the kit that is wanting and get out there in it. Live in it. Work in it. Sweat in it. Become as familiar with it as I am with jeans and t-shirts. While I tend more to the 12th century these days, I still have plenty of 14th kit. I prefer the simpler clothing on the whole and the earlier the simpler as a very general rule. Maille coif, hooded mantles, pants, t-tunics, cloaks and what have you. Longbows and slings...I have the spears but cannot use them in the Commonwealth. I do not have a crossbow, although I have considered the notion of obtaining one...a medieval replica, not a modern one.
At the moment the highest ranking I could attain with the Rangers is Master Huntress...to become a Royal Huntress would require taking 8 animals (various sort) with four different weapon types/animal types. I haven't got the animals and I am denied spear, sword, javelin and crossbow (only disabled people may hunt with a crossbow in the Commonwealth). Denied unless I leave the state for a place that allows such...I have no knowledge of those items in the neighboring states at the moment. I must educate myself in this regard.
So as the year progresses and I become healthier I become even more active, busier. More energetic. This is an excellent thing.
The world of our civilizations is falling apart...our empire is collapsing. The Shadow rises and takes form in a variety of ways. So here's me and mine, hunting Shadow at the end of Empire.
Lady Siani
Septentria Keep
The Sundered Lands
I see it. I hear it. I note it. I do not let it dictate terms to me, although I do take counsel on the matters as they have an affect on me.
I have been doing a lot to sort the last of my preparatory endeavors (which should have been first) and I have to say that things are going well in this regard. I will be up on the Mountain again in an hour or so and the day will progress from there.
There is dance, yes indeed, and drumming, for a certainty. Yet there are other things as well.
There is archery and all the things related to it. Medieval hunting...I am still a member of St. Hubert's Rangers and I still treasure that deeply. I hope to go on official record with a kill this year...perhaps make at least Warrener status. There are arrows to complete, bowstrings to make, clothing and kit to repair or construct. Plenty to work on.
There is longhunting...hunting with flintlock and percussion rifles. I actually prefer the archery to be honest. For one thing I need no special permits to make the bows work. Yet.
Soon I will be making the Mountain treks in full Ranger kit...and that kit would fit equally well in Middle Earth as it would in a historic medieval setting in its essences. Decorative aspects being excepted as I have a passion for Elven decoration so some pieces would not really 'fit' in a medieval reenactment...for those pieces I have, or will have, proper alternatives.
I have no idea how long I will be able to walk with cased bow and full quiver before someone complains and I am forced to remove them. There are no rules against having them on the trails there, but it only takes one prey....ah, nervous person...to upset the apple cart. In which case I will substitute a simple stave for the bow and put unfinished shafts in the quiver...it won't be quite the same, but close. I could do that from the start, but a part of rebellious me hates the need.
What I won't have is a sword or spear....although my huntsman's knife will probably go along. I will have my sling. I would like to take some small game with the sling this year if I can.
I am a guild of one...hehehehehe....but that is fine by me. I like the actual hunt, rather than some make-believe version of it. To do that requires classes and time, and money for licenses and permits. At least it is still rather inexpensive for the licenses. Not so for firearms permits.
As February ends and March begins, and April looms on the horizon, I am more and more energized to finish the kit that is wanting and get out there in it. Live in it. Work in it. Sweat in it. Become as familiar with it as I am with jeans and t-shirts. While I tend more to the 12th century these days, I still have plenty of 14th kit. I prefer the simpler clothing on the whole and the earlier the simpler as a very general rule. Maille coif, hooded mantles, pants, t-tunics, cloaks and what have you. Longbows and slings...I have the spears but cannot use them in the Commonwealth. I do not have a crossbow, although I have considered the notion of obtaining one...a medieval replica, not a modern one.
At the moment the highest ranking I could attain with the Rangers is Master Huntress...to become a Royal Huntress would require taking 8 animals (various sort) with four different weapon types/animal types. I haven't got the animals and I am denied spear, sword, javelin and crossbow (only disabled people may hunt with a crossbow in the Commonwealth). Denied unless I leave the state for a place that allows such...I have no knowledge of those items in the neighboring states at the moment. I must educate myself in this regard.
So as the year progresses and I become healthier I become even more active, busier. More energetic. This is an excellent thing.
The world of our civilizations is falling apart...our empire is collapsing. The Shadow rises and takes form in a variety of ways. So here's me and mine, hunting Shadow at the end of Empire.
Lady Siani
Septentria Keep
The Sundered Lands
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Learning Something.
* I am once again sitting on the rock near the riverbank. The sky is still a brilliant blue dotted with puffball clouds. The wind is warm and sweet with the scent of grass, flowers, and Life. The water still mutters and chuckles as it makes its way across the land. The grass still waves in the breeze. Across the river is Bear, napping under some trees. Circling high above is Hawk; hunting or just playing I do not know. Heron is walking in the eddies of a pool. Horse is grazing nearby.
Once again I have a fire and once again I am cooking, only this time I have a tripod and bronze kettle in which a porridge is coming to boil. There are bits of venison in there, with wild herbs, grains and vegetables. There is a skin of drink...a kind of weak honey wine..a weak mead.
Sitting cross legged nearby is another woman, but she is nothing like me. She is tall and proud, with golden blonde hair and amber eyes. Her nails are gilded. She is garbed in gilded scale armor and armed with acinaces, knife, and bow. Her raiment is all red and gold.
My own bow is leaning against the rock in its case, along with the quiver of arrows. My shortsword leans beside it; these things we all carry. Yet I also have a staff that I hold in my hand, leaning back against my shoulder. It is carved with many shapes and sigils..even Greek letters. It is adorned with feathers, beads, claws of bear and tiger, and bits of semi-precious stones.
I am wearing my ankle boots, salwar of vivid red, a dress of dark orange and a hat to match. They are decorated with plaques in various ways, although the hat features a bear flanked by two dragons above the plaques. The veil, edged with more plaques and dangling bits, is of dark orange lightening to yellow. It is a very, very bright combination. I cannot ever recall being so colorfully dressed. The hems of my dress are 'bound', in a way, with thicker yarns of green, blue, and cream. The plaques run across my breasts in two rows, and down the outside of each sleeve. At my waist is a heavy leather belt..it too is decorated with plaques and animals. Hanging from it is a holstered mirror; there are tassels hanging from the holster. I have a sickle there too, made of bronze. Even my boots have plaques.
I am waiting, along with my guardian. Waiting for my Mistress to come. I think this without pause, but then consider it in that 'other' part of my mind. I am not sure when She became my Mistress. She has, and I should not be surprised, but I do not recall when I crossed into actual intentional service. It is odd, I think.
Rippling laughter sounds from behind. I glance over my shoulder and see Her coming from the small cluster of gers that are not far off. She smiles that secretive smile and joins us at the fire. "I told you we would meet again." She stirs the pot a bit and I just stare. I cannot help myself. It is not that she is beautiful..she is unlike the usual depictions of most Beings...it is simply Who She Is. What She Is. I feel lost. Confused. Uncertain. Small.
She says we will eat soon, but before that there are things She wishes to tell me. She glances at my guardian and nods before looking at me again. I try to avoid looking directly at Her but She is having none of that. There is no room for pretense here, She informs me. She has no need for such. She has things to tell me, then we will eat, then we will speak further...then we will dance. There is no question that these things will come about as She has said.
She speaks, I listen. We share food, fire, and drink again. I listen more. I have said nothing at all except when asked directly. I am submissive. She beckons me and we dance. We dance as the sun rises and sets, and as the stars wheel above. She speaks the entire time. I listen. We dance.*
I woke up. Tired. Muscles a bit tight. Sweaty. I have not related all of it..there are things I cannot share and things I am not certain I ought to, at least publicly like this, so I will err on the side of caution.
I still do not know what She wants with me..or if She told me, I do not now remember what it is. All things in their time. Not always an easy thing to take. She was teaching me things. Telling me things. I remember some of it.
My guardian was Dragon in human guise. Not the first time I have seen that form. I did, however, like the depictions of herself in the armor; stylized representations.
Loved the outfit...I plan to make one similar to that and a version in white for Druid work.
I shall be hiking the Mountain soon. An hour or so. After that is dance, drumming, and probably some patterning.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Once again I have a fire and once again I am cooking, only this time I have a tripod and bronze kettle in which a porridge is coming to boil. There are bits of venison in there, with wild herbs, grains and vegetables. There is a skin of drink...a kind of weak honey wine..a weak mead.
Sitting cross legged nearby is another woman, but she is nothing like me. She is tall and proud, with golden blonde hair and amber eyes. Her nails are gilded. She is garbed in gilded scale armor and armed with acinaces, knife, and bow. Her raiment is all red and gold.
My own bow is leaning against the rock in its case, along with the quiver of arrows. My shortsword leans beside it; these things we all carry. Yet I also have a staff that I hold in my hand, leaning back against my shoulder. It is carved with many shapes and sigils..even Greek letters. It is adorned with feathers, beads, claws of bear and tiger, and bits of semi-precious stones.
I am wearing my ankle boots, salwar of vivid red, a dress of dark orange and a hat to match. They are decorated with plaques in various ways, although the hat features a bear flanked by two dragons above the plaques. The veil, edged with more plaques and dangling bits, is of dark orange lightening to yellow. It is a very, very bright combination. I cannot ever recall being so colorfully dressed. The hems of my dress are 'bound', in a way, with thicker yarns of green, blue, and cream. The plaques run across my breasts in two rows, and down the outside of each sleeve. At my waist is a heavy leather belt..it too is decorated with plaques and animals. Hanging from it is a holstered mirror; there are tassels hanging from the holster. I have a sickle there too, made of bronze. Even my boots have plaques.
I am waiting, along with my guardian. Waiting for my Mistress to come. I think this without pause, but then consider it in that 'other' part of my mind. I am not sure when She became my Mistress. She has, and I should not be surprised, but I do not recall when I crossed into actual intentional service. It is odd, I think.
Rippling laughter sounds from behind. I glance over my shoulder and see Her coming from the small cluster of gers that are not far off. She smiles that secretive smile and joins us at the fire. "I told you we would meet again." She stirs the pot a bit and I just stare. I cannot help myself. It is not that she is beautiful..she is unlike the usual depictions of most Beings...it is simply Who She Is. What She Is. I feel lost. Confused. Uncertain. Small.
She says we will eat soon, but before that there are things She wishes to tell me. She glances at my guardian and nods before looking at me again. I try to avoid looking directly at Her but She is having none of that. There is no room for pretense here, She informs me. She has no need for such. She has things to tell me, then we will eat, then we will speak further...then we will dance. There is no question that these things will come about as She has said.
She speaks, I listen. We share food, fire, and drink again. I listen more. I have said nothing at all except when asked directly. I am submissive. She beckons me and we dance. We dance as the sun rises and sets, and as the stars wheel above. She speaks the entire time. I listen. We dance.*
I woke up. Tired. Muscles a bit tight. Sweaty. I have not related all of it..there are things I cannot share and things I am not certain I ought to, at least publicly like this, so I will err on the side of caution.
I still do not know what She wants with me..or if She told me, I do not now remember what it is. All things in their time. Not always an easy thing to take. She was teaching me things. Telling me things. I remember some of it.
My guardian was Dragon in human guise. Not the first time I have seen that form. I did, however, like the depictions of herself in the armor; stylized representations.
Loved the outfit...I plan to make one similar to that and a version in white for Druid work.
I shall be hiking the Mountain soon. An hour or so. After that is dance, drumming, and probably some patterning.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Friday, February 17, 2012
Scythia and Me
I have a Scythian style bow, but only at 36 pounds of pull. A training bow really.
I have a replica of a Scythian comb made in bronze and bone. Very pretty.
I am working up a Scythian hat...several of different sorts in fact, including one consistent with a Priestess, or what is thought of as a Priestess. Maybe not so tall. ;)
I've been toying with a modification of Scythian/Sarmatian robes for wear and dance. The pants are essentially salwar style pants; simple construction. Amazons, well most of the nomadic folks really, wore calf or thigh high boots for riding. Yes, that's right; thigh high boots 2500 years ago. I might also mention that Scythian footwear and that of many Native American tribes are nearly indistinguishable from one another.
I have the materials, save one, and the plan to make my own Scythian mirror, holster too.
I prefer the Celtic leaf-blade sword to the Acinaces the Scythians used. Similar in length, the Celtic blade is prettier. Since I am not reenacting, it does not matter. I suppose had I access to my forge I would make myself an acinaces, but I do not, so I cannot, and no one sells them.
I suppose one day I might get a more powerful Scythian bow...but for now my Magyar bow will do just fine. Since the Magyars came out of the steppe and conquered what is Hungary today sometime in the 9th century, it will do.
I am enamored of the Scythian art. I, like some of my friends, prefer realistic renditions in art as opposed to stylized, but I make exceptions for Scythian art. I have thought on and off of a tattoo or two over the years, but never done it. I probably never will...but if I did, they would be Scythian style tats. Probably the Bear, the Tiger, and the Stag but who knows? Perhaps a horse? LOL It is unlikely..although I do have body paints and airbrushes so temp stuff is doable.
I have both scale and lamellar armor..both used extensively by the Scythians and Sarmatians. Amazons too. Small round or crescent shields. A Norman conical helm that could easily be covered with a scaled leather sheath to simulate scaled Scythian helms. Something I probably won't do since I am not currently fighting.
Soon I will have my new drum, which has the Tree of Life or World Tree carved in it. While doumbeks were not a Scythian instrument, frame drums were at the least, generally double sided. I have single sided ones, but not double. Yet.
They used silks...wild silk as it is termed, for making garments. Huzzah silk! If I want to use smoother, more refined stuff I shall...but I also have the rougher types.
They knew hermaphrodites and saw them as seers and prophets, magicians and sorcerors.
They were mixed race; that is, consisting of Mongoloid, Caucasoid, and mixed peoples. They were Indo-Iranians of the Northeastern Iranian peoples.
The Amazons were of and with them.
They defeated both Cyrus and Darius. They had Queens who ran the tribes. They were horse warriors. Their women fought. Fierce, proud, dynamic, and wild. Eventually absorbed by the similar Sarmatians who came after them, the Scythians were remarkable.
I have designed my Clan Tamga; a stylized Scythian Bear. I am still working on a Tribal insignia.
I am a Priestess, who happens to have a piece of lime wood, is unusual in several respects, has a drum with the World Tree carved into it, has a totem that is the Great Bear, is a Warrior too. Coincidence? I do not believe in that. Creepy? Yep.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
I have a replica of a Scythian comb made in bronze and bone. Very pretty.
I am working up a Scythian hat...several of different sorts in fact, including one consistent with a Priestess, or what is thought of as a Priestess. Maybe not so tall. ;)
I've been toying with a modification of Scythian/Sarmatian robes for wear and dance. The pants are essentially salwar style pants; simple construction. Amazons, well most of the nomadic folks really, wore calf or thigh high boots for riding. Yes, that's right; thigh high boots 2500 years ago. I might also mention that Scythian footwear and that of many Native American tribes are nearly indistinguishable from one another.
I have the materials, save one, and the plan to make my own Scythian mirror, holster too.
I prefer the Celtic leaf-blade sword to the Acinaces the Scythians used. Similar in length, the Celtic blade is prettier. Since I am not reenacting, it does not matter. I suppose had I access to my forge I would make myself an acinaces, but I do not, so I cannot, and no one sells them.
I suppose one day I might get a more powerful Scythian bow...but for now my Magyar bow will do just fine. Since the Magyars came out of the steppe and conquered what is Hungary today sometime in the 9th century, it will do.
I am enamored of the Scythian art. I, like some of my friends, prefer realistic renditions in art as opposed to stylized, but I make exceptions for Scythian art. I have thought on and off of a tattoo or two over the years, but never done it. I probably never will...but if I did, they would be Scythian style tats. Probably the Bear, the Tiger, and the Stag but who knows? Perhaps a horse? LOL It is unlikely..although I do have body paints and airbrushes so temp stuff is doable.
I have both scale and lamellar armor..both used extensively by the Scythians and Sarmatians. Amazons too. Small round or crescent shields. A Norman conical helm that could easily be covered with a scaled leather sheath to simulate scaled Scythian helms. Something I probably won't do since I am not currently fighting.
Soon I will have my new drum, which has the Tree of Life or World Tree carved in it. While doumbeks were not a Scythian instrument, frame drums were at the least, generally double sided. I have single sided ones, but not double. Yet.
They used silks...wild silk as it is termed, for making garments. Huzzah silk! If I want to use smoother, more refined stuff I shall...but I also have the rougher types.
They knew hermaphrodites and saw them as seers and prophets, magicians and sorcerors.
They were mixed race; that is, consisting of Mongoloid, Caucasoid, and mixed peoples. They were Indo-Iranians of the Northeastern Iranian peoples.
The Amazons were of and with them.
They defeated both Cyrus and Darius. They had Queens who ran the tribes. They were horse warriors. Their women fought. Fierce, proud, dynamic, and wild. Eventually absorbed by the similar Sarmatians who came after them, the Scythians were remarkable.
I have designed my Clan Tamga; a stylized Scythian Bear. I am still working on a Tribal insignia.
I am a Priestess, who happens to have a piece of lime wood, is unusual in several respects, has a drum with the World Tree carved into it, has a totem that is the Great Bear, is a Warrior too. Coincidence? I do not believe in that. Creepy? Yep.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Calories and Things
I was doing a bit of searching so I could get an idea of the caloric cost of the hikes. I know from having used the treadmills and elliptical machines at the fitness center that in half an hour at about three miles per hour or so I would burn anywhere from 270 to 290 calories. I was using that as a base notion for the hikes, which currently take about two hours and a bit. After consulting several pages on hiking vs gyms, calorie calculators and whatnot I wound up with this:
A hike of two hours (120 minutes) at a weight of 260 pounds burns nearly 1500 calories. On its own. Exclusive of anything else.
Dancing of the sort I am working on, which is quite active, burns about another 500 to 800 calories.
The rest of the activities burn off a bit here and there, perhaps 300 more at most. That is anywhere from 2300 to 2600 calories per day.
I am eating between 1200 and 1800 calories per day. As you can see, the hike alone nearly wipes out the daily intake. Add the other activities and I am burning more than I am taking in. Which is why the rather dramatic change. I still have some tweaking to do on this stuff and of course the numbers are not anything like exact, but they explain a lot. They also explain, elegantly, why missing two meal periods yestermorn had such a fearsome effect on me; no reserves at all. Not happening again.
As I lose weight, the amount I burn will go down for a given amount of time at exercise. I can delay this artificially by carrying an increasingly heavy pack..but only to a point. This is, in fact, the plan. In time I will reach maintenance levels, but that is a long way off yet.
Today I will make the fourth consecutive hike to the summit. That would seal the daily routine for a bit, until I am ready to take on the back side of the Mountain, which is far, far steeper.
Today also I ramp up the dance efforts. It is time after all; conceptualizing and tinkering with movements and whatnot can go only so far. There is also the drumming; my new ceramic drum is due in today and drumming burns calories too...as well as having a variety of other physiological effects.
I went to Oakstone Grove night before last. It was as I had last left it save one thing; the oak forest was gone, replaced by a fir and pine forest of great depth, age, and weight. The trees were like those I saw during my death experience; huge. The air was fragrant with pine resin and even in daylight the evening never really left under the branches. The moon pool was still fine, the stones, all of it, just as I had left it the last time I was there...admittedly some time ago. I got no sense that anyone had changed the place, or been there, or of anything malign at all. But it was startling, it was that indeed.
I have dreamed continuously, as I always do. I have seen Herself there each time although She has not spoken to me since we shared Food, Salt, and Water. I still do not know the significance of that little scenario, only that it was in fact significant. All She does is smile that little smile that causes all the hair on the back of my neck to rise. Nothing evil or malign, no, just...secretive. That sort of thing often worries me. Whether I like it or no, She has taken an interest for Her own reasons. I suppose I will find out what they are in due time. *sigh*
Soon I need to finish the arrows under construction, as well as the various bits of kit for the bow and other things. I have been so caught up in the hiking and dancing that I have, for the moment, put those aside. Now that a routine seems to have surfaced I can integrate those things back into the mix. I also need to start looking at making the hike in Ranger kit, sooner rather than later.
I am enjoying cosmetics a great deal. I will be setting about making some of my own soon. I have a lot of ingredients. I do need to order some pots for them from the Venetian Cat, however.
There's a lot going on right now. I am definitely getting into better condition and health. All as it should be.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
A hike of two hours (120 minutes) at a weight of 260 pounds burns nearly 1500 calories. On its own. Exclusive of anything else.
Dancing of the sort I am working on, which is quite active, burns about another 500 to 800 calories.
The rest of the activities burn off a bit here and there, perhaps 300 more at most. That is anywhere from 2300 to 2600 calories per day.
I am eating between 1200 and 1800 calories per day. As you can see, the hike alone nearly wipes out the daily intake. Add the other activities and I am burning more than I am taking in. Which is why the rather dramatic change. I still have some tweaking to do on this stuff and of course the numbers are not anything like exact, but they explain a lot. They also explain, elegantly, why missing two meal periods yestermorn had such a fearsome effect on me; no reserves at all. Not happening again.
As I lose weight, the amount I burn will go down for a given amount of time at exercise. I can delay this artificially by carrying an increasingly heavy pack..but only to a point. This is, in fact, the plan. In time I will reach maintenance levels, but that is a long way off yet.
Today I will make the fourth consecutive hike to the summit. That would seal the daily routine for a bit, until I am ready to take on the back side of the Mountain, which is far, far steeper.
Today also I ramp up the dance efforts. It is time after all; conceptualizing and tinkering with movements and whatnot can go only so far. There is also the drumming; my new ceramic drum is due in today and drumming burns calories too...as well as having a variety of other physiological effects.
I went to Oakstone Grove night before last. It was as I had last left it save one thing; the oak forest was gone, replaced by a fir and pine forest of great depth, age, and weight. The trees were like those I saw during my death experience; huge. The air was fragrant with pine resin and even in daylight the evening never really left under the branches. The moon pool was still fine, the stones, all of it, just as I had left it the last time I was there...admittedly some time ago. I got no sense that anyone had changed the place, or been there, or of anything malign at all. But it was startling, it was that indeed.
I have dreamed continuously, as I always do. I have seen Herself there each time although She has not spoken to me since we shared Food, Salt, and Water. I still do not know the significance of that little scenario, only that it was in fact significant. All She does is smile that little smile that causes all the hair on the back of my neck to rise. Nothing evil or malign, no, just...secretive. That sort of thing often worries me. Whether I like it or no, She has taken an interest for Her own reasons. I suppose I will find out what they are in due time. *sigh*
Soon I need to finish the arrows under construction, as well as the various bits of kit for the bow and other things. I have been so caught up in the hiking and dancing that I have, for the moment, put those aside. Now that a routine seems to have surfaced I can integrate those things back into the mix. I also need to start looking at making the hike in Ranger kit, sooner rather than later.
I am enjoying cosmetics a great deal. I will be setting about making some of my own soon. I have a lot of ingredients. I do need to order some pots for them from the Venetian Cat, however.
There's a lot going on right now. I am definitely getting into better condition and health. All as it should be.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Where I Am Now
As I was climbing the Mountain this morning I got to considering some things. I had been a bit impatient over the increase in stamina and conditioning; after all, it has been a couple of months already. Except it hasn't been.
I began this journey on the 7th of January after seeing my endocrinologist the day before and finding out I was 280 pounds and change. Today is the 15th of February. It has only been 40 days. Not even six weeks. Drifting towards the routine does not count. So, all of the dramatic changes that have occurred have been achieved in *less* than that...closer, in fact, to one month. That's amazing.
It was a lesson in patience and a warning against loose thinking. Well heeded. I am massively encouraged. I made the summit again for the third day in a row. I feel it in my legs...but I am by no means out of energy. Sure, my legs might tire more readily as the day goes on, but that is fine..my overall energy levels are remaining constant. The legs will gain stamina as time goes on. I have been hitting things very hard for the past couple of weeks. I am averaging 2.5 miles per hour each day....so five miles in two hours. This is not bad. I wish to achieve the point where, if I chose to, I could not only do the trip on *one* hour, but do it and be capable of continued elevated activity levels afterward. Not quite Marine capable, but not bad either. I probably will not be able to achieve this level of ability...but it is something to reach for.
I am hoping that come July when next I have my blood drawn for testing, that I might begin to get off the blood pressure medications, that my blood sugars are excellent, and that I have lost such mass that I can wear a nice skirt and look good doing so. *grins* It will disturb some of them, and amuse others. Most importantly, it will be an awesome achievement for me.
I discovered this morning that I can cross my legs. It isn't terribly comfortable to do, but I couldn't do it at all before this morning. At one time I could do it without effort, as both of my sons can. Some people never can. It would be nice by Summer to be able to once again cross my legs, especially when wearing a skirt. ;)
I now wear mostly baggy and ill fitting things. This is okay with me as it signifies and is a measure of my progress. I have other clothing that I will fit as I continue to change shape. If I have to wear ill fitting things for a time, that's fine. It is no hardship. Eventually I will simply make things for myself, but I want to wait until I have gotten somewhat stable for that.
June is usually the Victorian Tea. I can hope I have lost sufficient mass by then, and changed shape enough, to look reasonable in the Victorian clothing I am contemplating. Perhaps by next Fall and the Psychic Faire I will be able to wear my bustier as well..that would really be nice. :) I could deck it out all Steampunk....
My actual eating is closer to every 2.5 to 3 hours since I measure from the time I actually eat and round forward a bit. I get plenty of calories...after all, I am still experimenting with this and compensation has to be made for higher activity and an increasing metabolism. That said, I do not think it is time yet for an overall increase in caloric intake. Why? Because I do not feel hungry (unless I miss a meal). I am not suffering in my performance. On days without the hike, for whatever reason, I immediately lower the caloric intake a little. It isn't hard or tiresome for me to do. I can do all of the math in my head; simple indeed. ;)
There is dance too of course. Yesterday also illustrated that for the first time in years I can keep on going all day long without flagging. Energy levels stay constant. They do drop off fast at night but I am taking pains to be in bed at a reasonable time so I get plenty of sleep.
Tomorrow my ceramic drum is due to arrive. That will increase that activity too. Active does not mean frantic. It simply means doing something all the time rather than just sitting about. Something can be sewing, dancing, making things, etc. It is activity...and the brain needs stimulation too.
Amazon training did not happen yestereve but it will happen again. I will begin training myself too, not just instructing. I have no plans to fight SCA but there are benefits to keeping ones' skills up.
I have not, thus far, been able to reach the summit of the Mountain non-stop. I get closer each time I climb and eventually I will get there. And then there will be making that same climb non-stop and breathing only through my nostrils. Now there's a feat. In the meantime, I do breathing exercises to help with stamina, lung efficiency and capacity, and metabolic consistency.
It feels good. I feel good.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
I began this journey on the 7th of January after seeing my endocrinologist the day before and finding out I was 280 pounds and change. Today is the 15th of February. It has only been 40 days. Not even six weeks. Drifting towards the routine does not count. So, all of the dramatic changes that have occurred have been achieved in *less* than that...closer, in fact, to one month. That's amazing.
It was a lesson in patience and a warning against loose thinking. Well heeded. I am massively encouraged. I made the summit again for the third day in a row. I feel it in my legs...but I am by no means out of energy. Sure, my legs might tire more readily as the day goes on, but that is fine..my overall energy levels are remaining constant. The legs will gain stamina as time goes on. I have been hitting things very hard for the past couple of weeks. I am averaging 2.5 miles per hour each day....so five miles in two hours. This is not bad. I wish to achieve the point where, if I chose to, I could not only do the trip on *one* hour, but do it and be capable of continued elevated activity levels afterward. Not quite Marine capable, but not bad either. I probably will not be able to achieve this level of ability...but it is something to reach for.
I am hoping that come July when next I have my blood drawn for testing, that I might begin to get off the blood pressure medications, that my blood sugars are excellent, and that I have lost such mass that I can wear a nice skirt and look good doing so. *grins* It will disturb some of them, and amuse others. Most importantly, it will be an awesome achievement for me.
I discovered this morning that I can cross my legs. It isn't terribly comfortable to do, but I couldn't do it at all before this morning. At one time I could do it without effort, as both of my sons can. Some people never can. It would be nice by Summer to be able to once again cross my legs, especially when wearing a skirt. ;)
I now wear mostly baggy and ill fitting things. This is okay with me as it signifies and is a measure of my progress. I have other clothing that I will fit as I continue to change shape. If I have to wear ill fitting things for a time, that's fine. It is no hardship. Eventually I will simply make things for myself, but I want to wait until I have gotten somewhat stable for that.
June is usually the Victorian Tea. I can hope I have lost sufficient mass by then, and changed shape enough, to look reasonable in the Victorian clothing I am contemplating. Perhaps by next Fall and the Psychic Faire I will be able to wear my bustier as well..that would really be nice. :) I could deck it out all Steampunk....
My actual eating is closer to every 2.5 to 3 hours since I measure from the time I actually eat and round forward a bit. I get plenty of calories...after all, I am still experimenting with this and compensation has to be made for higher activity and an increasing metabolism. That said, I do not think it is time yet for an overall increase in caloric intake. Why? Because I do not feel hungry (unless I miss a meal). I am not suffering in my performance. On days without the hike, for whatever reason, I immediately lower the caloric intake a little. It isn't hard or tiresome for me to do. I can do all of the math in my head; simple indeed. ;)
There is dance too of course. Yesterday also illustrated that for the first time in years I can keep on going all day long without flagging. Energy levels stay constant. They do drop off fast at night but I am taking pains to be in bed at a reasonable time so I get plenty of sleep.
Tomorrow my ceramic drum is due to arrive. That will increase that activity too. Active does not mean frantic. It simply means doing something all the time rather than just sitting about. Something can be sewing, dancing, making things, etc. It is activity...and the brain needs stimulation too.
Amazon training did not happen yestereve but it will happen again. I will begin training myself too, not just instructing. I have no plans to fight SCA but there are benefits to keeping ones' skills up.
I have not, thus far, been able to reach the summit of the Mountain non-stop. I get closer each time I climb and eventually I will get there. And then there will be making that same climb non-stop and breathing only through my nostrils. Now there's a feat. In the meantime, I do breathing exercises to help with stamina, lung efficiency and capacity, and metabolic consistency.
It feels good. I feel good.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Monday, February 13, 2012
Something is at Work
Right then, so part of all of this change....or 'flowering'...as it was termed in a dream last night, is a new boldness of color. I am an Autumn complexion...what they call a True Autumn. Supposedly it means I can wear certain colors (that are hugely popular) naturally and without effort and 'better' than most others. I don't know about that but I do know that the colors and patterns of an Autumn palette suit me very well. Golds, Yellows, Oranges, Browns, and certain Greens, Purples, and Crimsons..as well as tawny toned animal prints all compliment my complexion.
For much of my life I have eschewed bright colors, being more prone to flat tones and ordinary hues. I managed to escape notice to a large extent by doing that, or keep people away from me. It made me nondescript and I was fine with that.
Not so much now. Well, I do not seek attention but the colors I am keen on using certainly will. As I have said, something in me is changing, triggered by other changes that have completed themselves. Ah well, the colors are good for dancing at any rate. Fiery colors.
I noted last night that skirts that had been too snug are no longer. While my weight is not changing so rapidly, my body shape and size certainly is. Do not get me wrong, my weight is changing, apparently (I have not weighed myself and will not until the end of the month), but more marked and noticeable is body shape and size. The toning and strengthening of muscles is a big part of this I think. Muscle is heavier than fat anyway and I am certainly developing spectacular glutes and leg muscles. Sadly, no matter how pretty the shape of my legs might get, they are forever marred by that accident; discoloration and scars. They were my best feature. That shall not, however, keep me from exposing them; I am not a terribly modest person and I am not ashamed of my 'battle scars'.
I have stretch marks on my tummy...and those won't stop me either. I take a bit of inspiration from Kawakib on that score. There's a looooong way to go before I reach a point where that becomes something to consider. LOL I will say though, that my boobs are almost the 'highest' point on my body now, when I am supine, as opposed to my tummy. This is major progress. I will keep it going.
Yet things are moving swiftly. I have not seen Herself since that last dream, except in my thoughts as I try to work out the dancing movements She used. I will see Her again, I have no doubt; She said so after all. It unnerves me, yes. Gives me the willies. Even, I may say, frightens me a bit. The Unknown can do that even to the strongest person..and I am far from the strongest of people.
People won't get a look at these changes for a bit yet; Novice Schola is the next event we are considering attending and that isn't until March 31st. By then who knows what changes will have been wrought on me by this new way of living? It has become a part of my philosophy now, and is nearly a habitual state. I figure by mid-year I ought to have it firmly in place as my habitual behavior. I hope so anyway.
At least I get continuous encouragement, both from people's observations and from the obvious changes in my body. That helps a lot.
New drum techniques to master, dance to work on, fan veils to play with (eventually), and creativity to express. Things could be a lot worse.
Where the world at large is concerned...things just get worse each day. I keep myself informed but I do not linger over it all, not these days. I've done what I can for all eventualities I can see happening, and a bit more besides, so I do not see any reason to mope or be despondent. Now I focus on getting healthy..the last real thing I have to prepare..and it should have been the first, on emotional balance and health, and mental sharpness and acuity. Through exercise, proper eating, and the expression of creative impulses.
I still do my Work...that will never change. If anything the current changes and the ongoing ones are facilitating it, not hindering it. Something I had never considered before but apparently very real. I put on my Priestess robes for folk when needed, see to the tasks that are mine to deal with, keep the Temple in order, and generally live as best I can to a healthier and more balanced way.
I will dance. For Herself, for myself, for joy,....and perhaps for things I do not yet see. Funny how something to dabble in, something one is sure one cannot do, can become something precious, and something one knows one can do. Very funny indeed.
The Path I walk has its hard places...but now and then it has easier going too...I am thankful when those come. But I think this one is here for a reason.
I still have Apprehensions about this year. I am still Restless. I feel...Wild. Fierce. I want to be Free when I feel Constrained. Something is at work....
Be well, and may Tabiti smile upon you.
Dancing through the End of Empire.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
For much of my life I have eschewed bright colors, being more prone to flat tones and ordinary hues. I managed to escape notice to a large extent by doing that, or keep people away from me. It made me nondescript and I was fine with that.
Not so much now. Well, I do not seek attention but the colors I am keen on using certainly will. As I have said, something in me is changing, triggered by other changes that have completed themselves. Ah well, the colors are good for dancing at any rate. Fiery colors.
I noted last night that skirts that had been too snug are no longer. While my weight is not changing so rapidly, my body shape and size certainly is. Do not get me wrong, my weight is changing, apparently (I have not weighed myself and will not until the end of the month), but more marked and noticeable is body shape and size. The toning and strengthening of muscles is a big part of this I think. Muscle is heavier than fat anyway and I am certainly developing spectacular glutes and leg muscles. Sadly, no matter how pretty the shape of my legs might get, they are forever marred by that accident; discoloration and scars. They were my best feature. That shall not, however, keep me from exposing them; I am not a terribly modest person and I am not ashamed of my 'battle scars'.
I have stretch marks on my tummy...and those won't stop me either. I take a bit of inspiration from Kawakib on that score. There's a looooong way to go before I reach a point where that becomes something to consider. LOL I will say though, that my boobs are almost the 'highest' point on my body now, when I am supine, as opposed to my tummy. This is major progress. I will keep it going.
Yet things are moving swiftly. I have not seen Herself since that last dream, except in my thoughts as I try to work out the dancing movements She used. I will see Her again, I have no doubt; She said so after all. It unnerves me, yes. Gives me the willies. Even, I may say, frightens me a bit. The Unknown can do that even to the strongest person..and I am far from the strongest of people.
People won't get a look at these changes for a bit yet; Novice Schola is the next event we are considering attending and that isn't until March 31st. By then who knows what changes will have been wrought on me by this new way of living? It has become a part of my philosophy now, and is nearly a habitual state. I figure by mid-year I ought to have it firmly in place as my habitual behavior. I hope so anyway.
At least I get continuous encouragement, both from people's observations and from the obvious changes in my body. That helps a lot.
New drum techniques to master, dance to work on, fan veils to play with (eventually), and creativity to express. Things could be a lot worse.
Where the world at large is concerned...things just get worse each day. I keep myself informed but I do not linger over it all, not these days. I've done what I can for all eventualities I can see happening, and a bit more besides, so I do not see any reason to mope or be despondent. Now I focus on getting healthy..the last real thing I have to prepare..and it should have been the first, on emotional balance and health, and mental sharpness and acuity. Through exercise, proper eating, and the expression of creative impulses.
I still do my Work...that will never change. If anything the current changes and the ongoing ones are facilitating it, not hindering it. Something I had never considered before but apparently very real. I put on my Priestess robes for folk when needed, see to the tasks that are mine to deal with, keep the Temple in order, and generally live as best I can to a healthier and more balanced way.
I will dance. For Herself, for myself, for joy,....and perhaps for things I do not yet see. Funny how something to dabble in, something one is sure one cannot do, can become something precious, and something one knows one can do. Very funny indeed.
The Path I walk has its hard places...but now and then it has easier going too...I am thankful when those come. But I think this one is here for a reason.
I still have Apprehensions about this year. I am still Restless. I feel...Wild. Fierce. I want to be Free when I feel Constrained. Something is at work....
Be well, and may Tabiti smile upon you.
Dancing through the End of Empire.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Changes Indeed.
Along with these new and very intense activities; dance, drumming, and so on, something else has come with them. How I look has begun to be something I have an interest in. Not for anyone else, or to gain anything from anyone, but for myself, deep inside. It is an interesting thing and it is very intense.
I wear makeup daily now...just because. I polish my nails frequently..and have grown them out. I ensure my legs remain (relatively) hair free. I get my hair trimmed routinely. I look at clothing with an eye to coordination, and that's something I've really never cared about before. I wear fewer t-shirts and more 'pretty' tops. I wear skirts more often. I am conscious of my shoes and boots, as well as hose rather than socks.
No, I haven't become mainstream beauty mavin...just more aware of these things *for my own sake*. They make *me* feel good..and they feel right. At the same time I am using these things, I am also mindful of making my own from scratch...another area that has assumed a larger interest of late.
It is convenient and not a little accurate to put this down to the increased healthy feeling and the loss of mass. But that is only a small part of it; there are deeper, more important *inner* changes going on. I should say, they have been ongoing for a long while, sometimes with acceptance, sometimes with resistance, but they have kept on..and now, I think, they are reaching fruition.
I wore cosmetics on the hike yesterday. It was a hard, digging hike and I sweated copiously as I am wont to do. Sweat got into my eyes..and it diluted the eye shadow, but it hasn't deterred me. I *like* it. Can I explain it? No. Something in me has completed its change, and other things are changing in response. That is the best explanation I can come up with.
There is also a new aspect of my confidence emerging. I have always been a pretty confident individual, but it has lately been augmented by some new energy; people sense it..a lot of women especially. Again, I have no ready explanation; perhaps it is just time.
I can be conservative when it comes to changing my ways. This time, however, it is exactly the opposite. A very interesting development.
I know one thing; these changes will, by design or chance, enhance and encourage dancing, drumming, and a number of other things. It will be interesting to see where it all goes.
I have lost more mass. How do I know? I put on my calf length boots this morning and zipped them up without effort. Just last week the left one was tight. Not today. A skirt I love is now comfortable to wear. I am stronger, feeling good. I had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep (save dreaming) last night...a rarity.
I am eating to the same routine. I should stress that this is no diet. I do not exclude or deny myself anything...except because I feel the need. As a result, I am careful with carbs, keep an eye on sat fat, and generally ensure I have more vegetable matter. Those are *my* choices, not dictates of the way I am eating. This is no diet...but it is an easy way to maintain a constant (more or less) blood sugar level and activity level, and to control the amount of calories I take in. All very important to well being and health.
I get exercise that I like to do; hiking of course, but also the emerging love of dance, and music and all the other things I do.
Changes indeed.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
I wear makeup daily now...just because. I polish my nails frequently..and have grown them out. I ensure my legs remain (relatively) hair free. I get my hair trimmed routinely. I look at clothing with an eye to coordination, and that's something I've really never cared about before. I wear fewer t-shirts and more 'pretty' tops. I wear skirts more often. I am conscious of my shoes and boots, as well as hose rather than socks.
No, I haven't become mainstream beauty mavin...just more aware of these things *for my own sake*. They make *me* feel good..and they feel right. At the same time I am using these things, I am also mindful of making my own from scratch...another area that has assumed a larger interest of late.
It is convenient and not a little accurate to put this down to the increased healthy feeling and the loss of mass. But that is only a small part of it; there are deeper, more important *inner* changes going on. I should say, they have been ongoing for a long while, sometimes with acceptance, sometimes with resistance, but they have kept on..and now, I think, they are reaching fruition.
I wore cosmetics on the hike yesterday. It was a hard, digging hike and I sweated copiously as I am wont to do. Sweat got into my eyes..and it diluted the eye shadow, but it hasn't deterred me. I *like* it. Can I explain it? No. Something in me has completed its change, and other things are changing in response. That is the best explanation I can come up with.
There is also a new aspect of my confidence emerging. I have always been a pretty confident individual, but it has lately been augmented by some new energy; people sense it..a lot of women especially. Again, I have no ready explanation; perhaps it is just time.
I can be conservative when it comes to changing my ways. This time, however, it is exactly the opposite. A very interesting development.
I know one thing; these changes will, by design or chance, enhance and encourage dancing, drumming, and a number of other things. It will be interesting to see where it all goes.
I have lost more mass. How do I know? I put on my calf length boots this morning and zipped them up without effort. Just last week the left one was tight. Not today. A skirt I love is now comfortable to wear. I am stronger, feeling good. I had eight hours of uninterrupted sleep (save dreaming) last night...a rarity.
I am eating to the same routine. I should stress that this is no diet. I do not exclude or deny myself anything...except because I feel the need. As a result, I am careful with carbs, keep an eye on sat fat, and generally ensure I have more vegetable matter. Those are *my* choices, not dictates of the way I am eating. This is no diet...but it is an easy way to maintain a constant (more or less) blood sugar level and activity level, and to control the amount of calories I take in. All very important to well being and health.
I get exercise that I like to do; hiking of course, but also the emerging love of dance, and music and all the other things I do.
Changes indeed.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Music, Dance, Rhythm
As I have taken dance more seriously...rather, as a primary pursuit these days, I've naturally begun to look more deeply into this activity. Some interesting and sometimes curious things catch my attention. For instance, Tribal Fusion dancers, the ones everyone seems to know, seem to have a common need to tattoo themselves...it seems to start out small but then begins to blossom into a fair bit of ink. Some of it quite pretty, like Sharon Kiharas' peacocks and Rachel Brices' flowering vine. Some of it is, to my mind, over the top..but it is each persons' choice and that's fine. It is not something I am interested in doing, but there you go.
Being a fusion style already, it is unsurprising to see it taken in a plethora of directions; Urban Tribal, Gothic Tribal, Tribal Nomad and Nomad Fusion, to name but a few. Really, it is not unlike what I am doing myself...in that way I feel a kind of fit.
I am in no shape to wear the commonly seen type of costuming...yet. I may get there. If I do get there I will wear such myself..I have never suffered from excessive morality or too little shamelessness. I do what I like and that's that.
I am after building my own bras, as I have said, because I would like a number of foundations to both practice designs on and to use as alternative outfits. They are expensive to buy so making my own seems only reasonable. Besides, the bras will definitely fit me then; I am not huge, but I am not terribly small either...but my breasts are a bit wider apart than bra makers seem to consider. In any case, making my own seems a good idea. Arcane, as I have said, but even so.
I have begun looking at old pieces of clothing, especially beaded stuff, with an eye to belt foundations and drapes. Once you start looking at things this way it opens up a huge number of creative routes to various looks. There's also the re-use of applique in the making of robes for dancing, whether Persian or Central Asian or something else entirely. It certainly does make the juices of creation flow nicely.
Footwear too is on my mind in this regard. I am after making my own stuff as much as I am able. Not only can I not afford buying this stuff, but even if I could I probably wouldn't anyway. Making it seems to me a better way...doing so allows one to instill something of the self in an items construction...a little magic perhaps, along with intent. Silliness, some might say, but I do not believe so.
Movements of the body are pleasing things. I never really paid that any attention before, but I am now. Actually feeling, that is, consciously feeling, the movements of muscles and ligaments to the flow of music is a heady thing indeed. A grand form of offering it is. There's a kind of...I don't know, a kind of transcendence about it. I used to get something similar (but very different) in combat. I like this one better. What a rush.
I have sought after the Great Music of Creation all of my life, trying to catch bits of it in music that I was playing or in things I was doing, or in just listening. I am still trying to do that..but now it is with Dance...and then there is the Primal Dance I saw...that I simply have to try to imitate..as imperfect as it will be.
When I hike I have music running through my mind, sometimes as I hike I am even doing shimmies and other movements as I go along. It is all movement...not just walking or stepping. It is all movement to rhythm, something we all have, however difficult it might be to 'find' it at times. One of the few things that binds all humans is in fact this innate rhythm we all possess. Some are gifted with it, others have to work to attain it..but its seeds lie in every single person. Our hearts beat a rhythm, our blood rushes around to it. It is with us constantly. When we get out of rhythm we notice, often without realizing what is wrong.
In music there is magic. I have said this often and maintain it still. In Dance there is magic..and together they complete a picture that I find breathtaking to behold.
Things to think on.
Tabiti smile on you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Being a fusion style already, it is unsurprising to see it taken in a plethora of directions; Urban Tribal, Gothic Tribal, Tribal Nomad and Nomad Fusion, to name but a few. Really, it is not unlike what I am doing myself...in that way I feel a kind of fit.
I am in no shape to wear the commonly seen type of costuming...yet. I may get there. If I do get there I will wear such myself..I have never suffered from excessive morality or too little shamelessness. I do what I like and that's that.
I am after building my own bras, as I have said, because I would like a number of foundations to both practice designs on and to use as alternative outfits. They are expensive to buy so making my own seems only reasonable. Besides, the bras will definitely fit me then; I am not huge, but I am not terribly small either...but my breasts are a bit wider apart than bra makers seem to consider. In any case, making my own seems a good idea. Arcane, as I have said, but even so.
I have begun looking at old pieces of clothing, especially beaded stuff, with an eye to belt foundations and drapes. Once you start looking at things this way it opens up a huge number of creative routes to various looks. There's also the re-use of applique in the making of robes for dancing, whether Persian or Central Asian or something else entirely. It certainly does make the juices of creation flow nicely.
Footwear too is on my mind in this regard. I am after making my own stuff as much as I am able. Not only can I not afford buying this stuff, but even if I could I probably wouldn't anyway. Making it seems to me a better way...doing so allows one to instill something of the self in an items construction...a little magic perhaps, along with intent. Silliness, some might say, but I do not believe so.
Movements of the body are pleasing things. I never really paid that any attention before, but I am now. Actually feeling, that is, consciously feeling, the movements of muscles and ligaments to the flow of music is a heady thing indeed. A grand form of offering it is. There's a kind of...I don't know, a kind of transcendence about it. I used to get something similar (but very different) in combat. I like this one better. What a rush.
I have sought after the Great Music of Creation all of my life, trying to catch bits of it in music that I was playing or in things I was doing, or in just listening. I am still trying to do that..but now it is with Dance...and then there is the Primal Dance I saw...that I simply have to try to imitate..as imperfect as it will be.
When I hike I have music running through my mind, sometimes as I hike I am even doing shimmies and other movements as I go along. It is all movement...not just walking or stepping. It is all movement to rhythm, something we all have, however difficult it might be to 'find' it at times. One of the few things that binds all humans is in fact this innate rhythm we all possess. Some are gifted with it, others have to work to attain it..but its seeds lie in every single person. Our hearts beat a rhythm, our blood rushes around to it. It is with us constantly. When we get out of rhythm we notice, often without realizing what is wrong.
In music there is magic. I have said this often and maintain it still. In Dance there is magic..and together they complete a picture that I find breathtaking to behold.
Things to think on.
Tabiti smile on you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Friday, February 10, 2012
In its Own Time
I was thinking of all of the things I have been doing of late and how radically different they are, and I am, from what was going on before. What am I doing? Answer: I haven't the faintest idea. Aside from having fun that is. The purpose? No clue. What is more, I do not really care; if there is a reason, and I am sure there is, it will come out in its own time.
It must seem odd; I am no longer deeply involved in the SCA yet here I am doing up 'costumes' and learning things more suited to that than everyday life. Except that to me all of this *is* everyday life. In a way I have no idea how to communicate to people.
Certainly the Warrior in me is quite wide awake and alert...yet it lies quietly behind the dancing, drumming, and gentler pursuits that now occupy me so thoroughly. I had noted before that as it awakened I had found a need to be more feminine...and here we are with it in nearly full bloom. Perhaps it offsets the Warrior..certainly there is some of that, but there is more to it and that is the bit I cannot seem to express.
I have chosen to simply go on and do and let things sort themselves out in their own time. There really is not much more than that for me to do. At least for the moment.
So I tinker with dancing...Tribal Fusion, general Bellydance, Persian Classical Dance and of course, trying to mix it all up with what I think/hope to be Central Asian dance. I am almost certainly getting it all awry, yet in the process there is creativity and from that a kind of creation. If it suits me and works for me and the Gods for whom I do it do not object then it is a Good Thing in my opinion. Perhaps it is something new...I do not really care; trying to create something to be known for has never been something I cared about. I have no need to show off. I have no intentions of performing in the commonly accepted meaning of the word. Jannat thinks I will eventually anyway, once I'm really involved but I am not sure I agree. For the Gods, certainly. For myself, assuredly. Will others see me? Probably as I am prone to doing some things on a whim and that leaves it open to observation by others. Will I perform with the intention of entertaining others? I highly doubt it. I feel no interest in this as other dances do. I am not an extrovert as so many performers seem to be. I do not have a need to show off, nor do I have a need to seek approval or crave adulation. The usual motivators are certainly not in evidence in me. Or if they are I do not recognize them.
Drumming has also become a primary activity...the only drawback here being A) the neighbors (not really a drawback given their desire to be heavy metal stars) and B) the tendency to drop into trance states while drumming. That last one was unexpected...when I am working as a Shaman, sure..just drumming though, that was something of a surprise.
Revolving around the dancing and drumming (and zilling and whatnot) are the clothing and accessories; salwar, shoes & boots, leather gear, jewelry, clothing, headdresses & hats, etc. We won't even get into the ger building.
Somehow it all seems right, it all seems to fit into life as it is now. I cannot really explain it. Perhaps I shouldn't even try. It will explain itself, I guess. When the time is right.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
It must seem odd; I am no longer deeply involved in the SCA yet here I am doing up 'costumes' and learning things more suited to that than everyday life. Except that to me all of this *is* everyday life. In a way I have no idea how to communicate to people.
Certainly the Warrior in me is quite wide awake and alert...yet it lies quietly behind the dancing, drumming, and gentler pursuits that now occupy me so thoroughly. I had noted before that as it awakened I had found a need to be more feminine...and here we are with it in nearly full bloom. Perhaps it offsets the Warrior..certainly there is some of that, but there is more to it and that is the bit I cannot seem to express.
I have chosen to simply go on and do and let things sort themselves out in their own time. There really is not much more than that for me to do. At least for the moment.
So I tinker with dancing...Tribal Fusion, general Bellydance, Persian Classical Dance and of course, trying to mix it all up with what I think/hope to be Central Asian dance. I am almost certainly getting it all awry, yet in the process there is creativity and from that a kind of creation. If it suits me and works for me and the Gods for whom I do it do not object then it is a Good Thing in my opinion. Perhaps it is something new...I do not really care; trying to create something to be known for has never been something I cared about. I have no need to show off. I have no intentions of performing in the commonly accepted meaning of the word. Jannat thinks I will eventually anyway, once I'm really involved but I am not sure I agree. For the Gods, certainly. For myself, assuredly. Will others see me? Probably as I am prone to doing some things on a whim and that leaves it open to observation by others. Will I perform with the intention of entertaining others? I highly doubt it. I feel no interest in this as other dances do. I am not an extrovert as so many performers seem to be. I do not have a need to show off, nor do I have a need to seek approval or crave adulation. The usual motivators are certainly not in evidence in me. Or if they are I do not recognize them.
Drumming has also become a primary activity...the only drawback here being A) the neighbors (not really a drawback given their desire to be heavy metal stars) and B) the tendency to drop into trance states while drumming. That last one was unexpected...when I am working as a Shaman, sure..just drumming though, that was something of a surprise.
Revolving around the dancing and drumming (and zilling and whatnot) are the clothing and accessories; salwar, shoes & boots, leather gear, jewelry, clothing, headdresses & hats, etc. We won't even get into the ger building.
Somehow it all seems right, it all seems to fit into life as it is now. I cannot really explain it. Perhaps I shouldn't even try. It will explain itself, I guess. When the time is right.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Glimmers in the gathering Darkness
Jannat has had her foot surgery and so cannot do more than hobble about for a bit. No dancing, no hiking, no driving, not until the healing is pretty much done. I will get ahead of her on the hiking and fitness, but not the dancing as herself has 20 plus years of experience while I have only just started with it as a primary pursuit.
There are no teachers of Central Asian dances in the vicinity. There is one group that does a form of Persian dance called Bandari, the which was originally the province of women for hire along the Persian coast but is now an art form of its own. So I am told at any rate. I have not researched it myself. Even if there were teachers I probably couldn't afford it. I do not begrudge an artist fair pay for their work but things are tight and that's that. I haven't grown up in a such a culture so the advantage of learning it as something I grew up with is not mine. Here, we pay for such things.
I am left with parsing out movements from various videos and toying with those in various ways. I have no way of knowing how accurate such things are naturally, but as with the whole Central Asian thing in general, I am not doing it for historical authenticity, but for myself and my own pleasure...and if I come up with something new that suits me, so be it. I will have fun in any event. The dances appear to be similar to Persian Classical Dance, for which I have instructional videos and access to a teacher for questions and whatnot; a benefit of having bought the DVDs and before them the VHSs when she was just getting started with them.
I shall, to a large degree, allow my own spirit and intuition to guide me. I have always listened to my intuition..or well, I have since I figured out that not listening got me into a LOT of trouble. ;) If the Gods do not like the offerings, I am sure They'll let me know...but I do not think it will be rejected..especially if whatever comes is something more or less unique to my own creativity and interpretations. Then there are the memory dream images of Herself dancing and those movements. I can never achieve that kind of perfection naturally..but I can have a go at imitating the movements as best I can.
I meant it when I said I was dancing through the Long Descent.
I am hoping that today will see the first day of trouble free operation of the walking foot machine. There are boots & shoes I wish to make, projects people have for me to do once it is up. It might provide a little extra income. There are leather goods and accessories to do too...and with the other machines, clothing and costumes to make. While I am nothing like good enough to make clothing to sell, the leather pieces are another matter. I will have skills and things to barter and that is only a plus.
Hats of the fur brimmed variety are among the first items to make. I actually make hats pretty well so who knows? I might manage to trade or sell one of those now and then.
There's the unique aspects too, of what we are doing; things done for those of us walking this road together. Road to where? I am not sure...a new Tribe perhaps, or foundations for one? I cannot say. I am doing what I know it is that I must do. Beyond that all is yet to be told.
I began training a couple of women in footwork for sword use last eventide. They will come by each Tuesday for more of the same. We have elected to use foam swords for practicing as they require no really heavy and expensive armor to use...although the techniques are the same. Foam also makes for good practice material when learning to dance with swords; no danger of cutting up clothing or self. They have elected to learn the complete run...from combat capable techniques through dance and everything in between. Wise of them, but a long path to walk.
I am still experimenting with cosmetics. I have taken a much stronger interest in them of late...I am uncertain as to why that should be so, but it is. For dancing, more dramatic use. For 'everyday' very subtle use. In this regard I am not entirely certain what mechanics are at work. I suppose it will become clear in due time.
Drumming proceeds apace; I get better each time I pick it up, I remember more of the beats..and I've even come up with some that, while probably not new, are not ones I have done before myself but have simply come up while letting myself go. Zills are still waiting for me to complete the elastics on them. I should do that today. Clackers too.
My mind turns more to completing enough kit to make the Mountain climb in complete guise...Central Asian, not Medieval...or at least, not for this. Hunting Medieval is still an interest and pursuit, but for the moment I want to get a different spin sorted out. When I can make that summit hike in full 'period' kit (whichever period it is), in an hour and without strain, I will be quite ready. :) That would be a five mile per hour pace, a route step pace, and that is very good.
I am deliberately not paying much mind to the goings on in the world at the moment. I am aware, but I keep a bit of distance; it is all so terribly toxic and I find the hiking and dancing and other things not only far more appealing, but exponentially healthier. The world is going to hell in a hand basket. I am not yet ready to be pulled down with it....so I will dance on.
I like the group of folk around me now..especially the Tuesday nights that are coming on with the Amazons. Obviously I enjoy the company of other women...and it is important to have that. Men have their place in the scheme of things, and I have male friends in plenty, but the society of women provides much needed balm and support that men cannot provide, even were I hetero. Gals need time away from men, just as men need time away from the gals...no matter how much some protest that notion. Sometimes it is alone time, sometimes the company of other gals. It is a healthy thing, to do the odd things differently from the usual.
Alban Eiler comes next month. For most folk that is the first day of Spring. For myself and mine, it is the middle of Spring. Soon I'll be out in the garden area cleaning up and turning soil in preparation for the actual planting season to come later. The cycle begins anew.
My life is quite full at the moment. When Jannat's foot has healed she will be able to hike without pain...dance without pain or worry...and be far healthier than she was before. Then perhaps I will have the metal removed from my leg...while I still can.
The world is a dark and worrisome place...but there's still a lot of light glimmering here and there, often in hidden places. Seek it out, balance yourself. It will strengthen you against the Fall.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda, abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
***NOTE*** 'Marakanda' was the name of the city that Alexander the Great took in 323 BCE that we today know as Samarkand. One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, what remains of the old city are faint ruins on some hills outside the modern city...and what lies beneath it. I think the older name has a kind of magical ring to it...and since it isn't used, really, I may use it for mine and Jannat's home. Just because if inspires a certain mindset and vibration...and because I like it. If I did not have to fly and if times were better, I would love to go there. I passed through, literally, a long time ago, but that is not really being there. I would love to explore Central Asia...a powerful lure it is.
There are no teachers of Central Asian dances in the vicinity. There is one group that does a form of Persian dance called Bandari, the which was originally the province of women for hire along the Persian coast but is now an art form of its own. So I am told at any rate. I have not researched it myself. Even if there were teachers I probably couldn't afford it. I do not begrudge an artist fair pay for their work but things are tight and that's that. I haven't grown up in a such a culture so the advantage of learning it as something I grew up with is not mine. Here, we pay for such things.
I am left with parsing out movements from various videos and toying with those in various ways. I have no way of knowing how accurate such things are naturally, but as with the whole Central Asian thing in general, I am not doing it for historical authenticity, but for myself and my own pleasure...and if I come up with something new that suits me, so be it. I will have fun in any event. The dances appear to be similar to Persian Classical Dance, for which I have instructional videos and access to a teacher for questions and whatnot; a benefit of having bought the DVDs and before them the VHSs when she was just getting started with them.
I shall, to a large degree, allow my own spirit and intuition to guide me. I have always listened to my intuition..or well, I have since I figured out that not listening got me into a LOT of trouble. ;) If the Gods do not like the offerings, I am sure They'll let me know...but I do not think it will be rejected..especially if whatever comes is something more or less unique to my own creativity and interpretations. Then there are the memory dream images of Herself dancing and those movements. I can never achieve that kind of perfection naturally..but I can have a go at imitating the movements as best I can.
I meant it when I said I was dancing through the Long Descent.
I am hoping that today will see the first day of trouble free operation of the walking foot machine. There are boots & shoes I wish to make, projects people have for me to do once it is up. It might provide a little extra income. There are leather goods and accessories to do too...and with the other machines, clothing and costumes to make. While I am nothing like good enough to make clothing to sell, the leather pieces are another matter. I will have skills and things to barter and that is only a plus.
Hats of the fur brimmed variety are among the first items to make. I actually make hats pretty well so who knows? I might manage to trade or sell one of those now and then.
There's the unique aspects too, of what we are doing; things done for those of us walking this road together. Road to where? I am not sure...a new Tribe perhaps, or foundations for one? I cannot say. I am doing what I know it is that I must do. Beyond that all is yet to be told.
I began training a couple of women in footwork for sword use last eventide. They will come by each Tuesday for more of the same. We have elected to use foam swords for practicing as they require no really heavy and expensive armor to use...although the techniques are the same. Foam also makes for good practice material when learning to dance with swords; no danger of cutting up clothing or self. They have elected to learn the complete run...from combat capable techniques through dance and everything in between. Wise of them, but a long path to walk.
I am still experimenting with cosmetics. I have taken a much stronger interest in them of late...I am uncertain as to why that should be so, but it is. For dancing, more dramatic use. For 'everyday' very subtle use. In this regard I am not entirely certain what mechanics are at work. I suppose it will become clear in due time.
Drumming proceeds apace; I get better each time I pick it up, I remember more of the beats..and I've even come up with some that, while probably not new, are not ones I have done before myself but have simply come up while letting myself go. Zills are still waiting for me to complete the elastics on them. I should do that today. Clackers too.
My mind turns more to completing enough kit to make the Mountain climb in complete guise...Central Asian, not Medieval...or at least, not for this. Hunting Medieval is still an interest and pursuit, but for the moment I want to get a different spin sorted out. When I can make that summit hike in full 'period' kit (whichever period it is), in an hour and without strain, I will be quite ready. :) That would be a five mile per hour pace, a route step pace, and that is very good.
I am deliberately not paying much mind to the goings on in the world at the moment. I am aware, but I keep a bit of distance; it is all so terribly toxic and I find the hiking and dancing and other things not only far more appealing, but exponentially healthier. The world is going to hell in a hand basket. I am not yet ready to be pulled down with it....so I will dance on.
I like the group of folk around me now..especially the Tuesday nights that are coming on with the Amazons. Obviously I enjoy the company of other women...and it is important to have that. Men have their place in the scheme of things, and I have male friends in plenty, but the society of women provides much needed balm and support that men cannot provide, even were I hetero. Gals need time away from men, just as men need time away from the gals...no matter how much some protest that notion. Sometimes it is alone time, sometimes the company of other gals. It is a healthy thing, to do the odd things differently from the usual.
Alban Eiler comes next month. For most folk that is the first day of Spring. For myself and mine, it is the middle of Spring. Soon I'll be out in the garden area cleaning up and turning soil in preparation for the actual planting season to come later. The cycle begins anew.
My life is quite full at the moment. When Jannat's foot has healed she will be able to hike without pain...dance without pain or worry...and be far healthier than she was before. Then perhaps I will have the metal removed from my leg...while I still can.
The world is a dark and worrisome place...but there's still a lot of light glimmering here and there, often in hidden places. Seek it out, balance yourself. It will strengthen you against the Fall.
Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda, abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh
***NOTE*** 'Marakanda' was the name of the city that Alexander the Great took in 323 BCE that we today know as Samarkand. One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, what remains of the old city are faint ruins on some hills outside the modern city...and what lies beneath it. I think the older name has a kind of magical ring to it...and since it isn't used, really, I may use it for mine and Jannat's home. Just because if inspires a certain mindset and vibration...and because I like it. If I did not have to fly and if times were better, I would love to go there. I passed through, literally, a long time ago, but that is not really being there. I would love to explore Central Asia...a powerful lure it is.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Living
First full week of February. I am still on track. As I have said, what I am doing now is for myself...the fitness and the fun. Fitness helps in preparedness of course, as does getting to know the lands about like the backs of my hands....but mostly it is for me, my self-image and self-respect. To maybe get close to looking fairly decent at last. It raises my spirits and lifts my mood. It rips me from the usual muck that people occupy themselves with..that toxic sludge called media. Oh certainly there are good things about it, but far too much of it is sludge these days.
I have found that as I have progressed I have less tolerance for the sludge, less will to simply shrug the crap off when faced with it, being more inclined to look at ways to destroy it..which usually isn't an option. An interesting shift. Mostly, however, I simply do not care..until my nose gets rubbed in it. Then I care. Violently.
This week I plan to start really piecing together various dance movements and isolations to music. Slow to start with of course, but here is where it all really begins to draw together. I shall not quite, nor turn aside. I have noted already that dance has become a primary interest and pursuit rather than a side interest or exercise in dabbling. That was not a momentary thought. I am not sure why this has happened at this point, but it has and I find I like it.
I am back up the Mountain here in a little bit. I really look forward to the exertion. Come fair weather or foul I will do the hike...as I have been doing. Unless there's a blizzard, hurricane, tornado or something else on that scale. If ever I had to didi on out of here I'd have to go regardless of weather, and if I really want to get all of my skills polished off, then I have to be out there hiking and camping in good and bad weather. I also have to know the streams and trails in good and bad weather. Even if I do not have to E&E, even if it is just nomadic living in a 'homeless' state, knowing the terrain is to my own advantage. The fact that it makes me so much healthier in the process is a major bonus.
In the next week or two I look to make the summit and back as my routine walk. Once I have that well and truly established, I'll begin looking at harder climbs and routes. As I master each of them I will have to go further afield to find the challenges I both want and need. Eventually I look to spend a fair few weekends out on the AT, exploring, hiking, camping and what have you. I would dearly love to hike out into the wilderness, establish camp, settle in, and break out a drum, or perhaps just dance to the music in my heart.
I will be 56 this Summer. There are few better ways to celebrate and mark that than to be in excellent physical condition and capable of reasonable dancing. :) I do not feel 55, and today I do not feel old at all. :)
The Central Asian mystique lies heavily upon me. Would that I had a horse to learn horse archery with. That dapple grey mare I saw the other day was simply gorgeous. :) Girls and horses and all that y'know.
I want to dance. I want to slide into the music and pursue the Great Song and the Primal Dance. I want to ramble across the countryside and see everything anew. Some might think this is an old person wanting to be young again..but I say it is a young person rediscovering themselves. ;)
Experiencing life...this is what I am doing. It is a good time to be me at my age. I know what good time is...and am young enough still to take advantage of it. The world is troubled and great difficulties lie ahead; I have seen them. Yet still I will dance, and walk, and think, and experience. I will enjoy life as long as it is mine to enjoy. The Gods have granted that I have a little time to enjoy myself; I am taking full advantage. ;)
Dance on. Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
I have found that as I have progressed I have less tolerance for the sludge, less will to simply shrug the crap off when faced with it, being more inclined to look at ways to destroy it..which usually isn't an option. An interesting shift. Mostly, however, I simply do not care..until my nose gets rubbed in it. Then I care. Violently.
This week I plan to start really piecing together various dance movements and isolations to music. Slow to start with of course, but here is where it all really begins to draw together. I shall not quite, nor turn aside. I have noted already that dance has become a primary interest and pursuit rather than a side interest or exercise in dabbling. That was not a momentary thought. I am not sure why this has happened at this point, but it has and I find I like it.
I am back up the Mountain here in a little bit. I really look forward to the exertion. Come fair weather or foul I will do the hike...as I have been doing. Unless there's a blizzard, hurricane, tornado or something else on that scale. If ever I had to didi on out of here I'd have to go regardless of weather, and if I really want to get all of my skills polished off, then I have to be out there hiking and camping in good and bad weather. I also have to know the streams and trails in good and bad weather. Even if I do not have to E&E, even if it is just nomadic living in a 'homeless' state, knowing the terrain is to my own advantage. The fact that it makes me so much healthier in the process is a major bonus.
In the next week or two I look to make the summit and back as my routine walk. Once I have that well and truly established, I'll begin looking at harder climbs and routes. As I master each of them I will have to go further afield to find the challenges I both want and need. Eventually I look to spend a fair few weekends out on the AT, exploring, hiking, camping and what have you. I would dearly love to hike out into the wilderness, establish camp, settle in, and break out a drum, or perhaps just dance to the music in my heart.
I will be 56 this Summer. There are few better ways to celebrate and mark that than to be in excellent physical condition and capable of reasonable dancing. :) I do not feel 55, and today I do not feel old at all. :)
The Central Asian mystique lies heavily upon me. Would that I had a horse to learn horse archery with. That dapple grey mare I saw the other day was simply gorgeous. :) Girls and horses and all that y'know.
I want to dance. I want to slide into the music and pursue the Great Song and the Primal Dance. I want to ramble across the countryside and see everything anew. Some might think this is an old person wanting to be young again..but I say it is a young person rediscovering themselves. ;)
Experiencing life...this is what I am doing. It is a good time to be me at my age. I know what good time is...and am young enough still to take advantage of it. The world is troubled and great difficulties lie ahead; I have seen them. Yet still I will dance, and walk, and think, and experience. I will enjoy life as long as it is mine to enjoy. The Gods have granted that I have a little time to enjoy myself; I am taking full advantage. ;)
Dance on. Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Dreams & Things
* I am sitting with Bear near a broad, shallow, and fairly swift flowing river. Bear is snoozing and before me a small fire sputters and flickers as oil and water drip from the fish which is set to broil over it. Bear was kind enough to flip me a fish before satisfying Her own hunger.
Heron is not far off, prowling the shallows of quieter eddies, and Stag is browsing the lush grass not far distant. I can hear Eagle now and then, even if I cannot see Her.
The sky is blue and effectively cloudless, that rich cerulean blue that is so lovely to see. The grass is green and lush, sprinkled with wildflowers and herbs. I am leaning against a rock outcrop that I was earlier sitting on. I know there is a forest of Birch, Ash, and Aspen not far off...one of those bright forests of tall trees.
Somewhere to the South lies a city...as cities go it is quite pretty and cleaner than most. I think its name is Marakanda, or was, for I do not think it is still there. At least, not the city that was. It is not close, but it is not so far a good horse could not get me there in very reasonable time..a few days at worst.
The sun is warm, the breeze loaded with the wild scents of herb and flower. The drone of bees and the song of birds is a lullaby. Soon my fish will be ready and I shall eat some..then likely join Bear for a nap.
A different scent reaches my nose; a kind of musky, rich, earthy scent...a heady perfume of some kind. I contemplate this for a little bit, slowly becoming aware that we have company. How odd, I think; none of my companions have even twitched. I feel no threat, no danger..but the presence is quite palpable. I do not stand to look around, nor turn, but simply continue to sit in this semi-dream state, waiting for my fish to finish cooking.
I have on pants of embroidered brown silk, a shift of cream linen, and a tunic-dress of heavily embroidered and rougher silk. My boots are a bit more than ankle high, my belt is broad and well-tooled; it supports a mirror in a 'holster', a long knife, and when I am not lounging around, a bow case and quiver, which now lie nearby.
"Is there enough for me?" a woman asks.
"There is plenty, and salt and water to go with it." I reply. "Will you share it with me, or are you hungry from travel that I shall give you this one and look for another for myself?"
"Generous, and well-offered, but no, I am not travel-hungry and need little. The offer is sustenance in its own right."
"Gently spoken. We shall share it then; it is nearly done. Will you come where I can see you, or do you prefer to remain as we are?"
"Gentle reprimand! I am admonished. I shall come sit by your fire...and your friend."
I had not had it in mind to reprimand anyone, but upon reflection could see how it might be taken as such..unusual as it might be. I noted that Bear had not so much as twitched an ear at all of this. She knew, or was unconcerned with, whomever had come to camp. I felt no worry or fear myself, which was also very interesting.
The woman is tall, but not overly so...slightly taller than myself. She has black hair in braids both loose and coiled artfully into pleasing patterns. Gold was plentiful but not tawdry in this case. Graceful carriage, strong hands, a long skirt of deep blue silk, a tunic of bright yellow and a furred hat of red wool. With a pleasant nod I have a new companion about the fire.
We speak of small things, as women will, until the fish is done. I portion it out, giving the best to my new friend as custom demands. The fish is big enough that there is no want for good portions to eat; Bear provides very well. All this passes in that peaceful, dream-like haze. When we have done eating, we clean up and I return to sitting on the rock as I had done before Bear caught the fish. The tall woman begins to dance. The music is lovely, heartrending, pulling at the spirit...but there are no musicians. It is all in my head. I have never seen dance like this...I did not think such things were possible.
Deep inside my mind I know who She is...but in the state that holds me there is no fear, no nervousness, no concern..only the moment. I know Bear, Stag, Heron, Eagle, and even far-wandering Horse knew Her at once...as I did not. I know Her now...I have seen Her before. I know Her from Her dance, which I have seen once before. Since first She tried to gain my attention and I brushed Her off, ignorance at that time being my overwhelming trait, She has not spoken. Only watched. And smiled. Now, She is dancing again, and we have shared food, and salt, and water. I do not know what it means.
She finishes dancing and I flutter my tongue in high call of praise while clapping. I have never seen such. She smiles that smile...."I thank you, Daughter, for sharing your food and your company with Me. Journey well, and safely. We shall meet again, you and I." And She is gone. Only that scent remains. And a wild desire to dance the rest of the day away. So I dance..as does Bear, and Heron, and Stag..and even Horse comes back to play. Weaving in and out and around, we dance until the sun sets and the stars light the night with their fire. *
Yes, I still dream. I simply do not always share them. This one needed it...I have not looked too closely at why. In any case, it stands as it is. Make of it what you will. As for me...Primal Dance is something I never conceived of before..and being an ordinary woman, not something I can do. To have seen it, not once but twice, is a gift beyond price. And encouragement too.
I shall hike the Mountain again today, naturally. There is no fever and I feel good, though there's still bit of congestion. That always takes a while to dissipate. I aim to tack on another 800 meters of distance this morning. I am liking the effect the exercise and eating are having on my body and mind. If I can keep this up long term I will begin to look better and better, wear better clothing, and even begin to look decent in my dance outfits. Works for me.
I was going through some stuff and came across some more plans for converting ordinary trailers into wagons...the sort you live in, not hay wagons. They are filed away where they ought to be.
Today is Imbolc....first day of Spring. I had intended to go to the Sunwheel this morning for dawn but family needs kept me home. Instead, I went outdoors at dawn and did my duty as is required of me. I will be at the Sunwheel this coming Sunday at the usual time, however.
I have heard from a friend that their sheep have birthed, so Imbolc seems to be right on spot. :)
More projects, more dancing, more drumming. More changes, more pleasure and happiness, more living of life. Yes, I am still very much aware of what is going on. Yet I have made all preparations that I am currently able to make...and carrying on with the health part..and being done with that, I am now enjoying some things as I have not been able to do until now. Still withdrawing myself from the modern industrial paradigm where and when I can, but it doesn't have to be full of privation and drudgery.
Find your music. Dance your dance.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
*** I am amused to note that some friends were struck by mine and Jannat's names; 'Jannat' is pronounced 'Ja-nay' and 'Shahzadeh' is pronounced 'SHAHza-day'. It was pointed out that they not only rhyme, they can be sung in a pleasant flow. LOL It was not planned; it just happened that way.
Heron is not far off, prowling the shallows of quieter eddies, and Stag is browsing the lush grass not far distant. I can hear Eagle now and then, even if I cannot see Her.
The sky is blue and effectively cloudless, that rich cerulean blue that is so lovely to see. The grass is green and lush, sprinkled with wildflowers and herbs. I am leaning against a rock outcrop that I was earlier sitting on. I know there is a forest of Birch, Ash, and Aspen not far off...one of those bright forests of tall trees.
Somewhere to the South lies a city...as cities go it is quite pretty and cleaner than most. I think its name is Marakanda, or was, for I do not think it is still there. At least, not the city that was. It is not close, but it is not so far a good horse could not get me there in very reasonable time..a few days at worst.
The sun is warm, the breeze loaded with the wild scents of herb and flower. The drone of bees and the song of birds is a lullaby. Soon my fish will be ready and I shall eat some..then likely join Bear for a nap.
A different scent reaches my nose; a kind of musky, rich, earthy scent...a heady perfume of some kind. I contemplate this for a little bit, slowly becoming aware that we have company. How odd, I think; none of my companions have even twitched. I feel no threat, no danger..but the presence is quite palpable. I do not stand to look around, nor turn, but simply continue to sit in this semi-dream state, waiting for my fish to finish cooking.
I have on pants of embroidered brown silk, a shift of cream linen, and a tunic-dress of heavily embroidered and rougher silk. My boots are a bit more than ankle high, my belt is broad and well-tooled; it supports a mirror in a 'holster', a long knife, and when I am not lounging around, a bow case and quiver, which now lie nearby.
"Is there enough for me?" a woman asks.
"There is plenty, and salt and water to go with it." I reply. "Will you share it with me, or are you hungry from travel that I shall give you this one and look for another for myself?"
"Generous, and well-offered, but no, I am not travel-hungry and need little. The offer is sustenance in its own right."
"Gently spoken. We shall share it then; it is nearly done. Will you come where I can see you, or do you prefer to remain as we are?"
"Gentle reprimand! I am admonished. I shall come sit by your fire...and your friend."
I had not had it in mind to reprimand anyone, but upon reflection could see how it might be taken as such..unusual as it might be. I noted that Bear had not so much as twitched an ear at all of this. She knew, or was unconcerned with, whomever had come to camp. I felt no worry or fear myself, which was also very interesting.
The woman is tall, but not overly so...slightly taller than myself. She has black hair in braids both loose and coiled artfully into pleasing patterns. Gold was plentiful but not tawdry in this case. Graceful carriage, strong hands, a long skirt of deep blue silk, a tunic of bright yellow and a furred hat of red wool. With a pleasant nod I have a new companion about the fire.
We speak of small things, as women will, until the fish is done. I portion it out, giving the best to my new friend as custom demands. The fish is big enough that there is no want for good portions to eat; Bear provides very well. All this passes in that peaceful, dream-like haze. When we have done eating, we clean up and I return to sitting on the rock as I had done before Bear caught the fish. The tall woman begins to dance. The music is lovely, heartrending, pulling at the spirit...but there are no musicians. It is all in my head. I have never seen dance like this...I did not think such things were possible.
Deep inside my mind I know who She is...but in the state that holds me there is no fear, no nervousness, no concern..only the moment. I know Bear, Stag, Heron, Eagle, and even far-wandering Horse knew Her at once...as I did not. I know Her now...I have seen Her before. I know Her from Her dance, which I have seen once before. Since first She tried to gain my attention and I brushed Her off, ignorance at that time being my overwhelming trait, She has not spoken. Only watched. And smiled. Now, She is dancing again, and we have shared food, and salt, and water. I do not know what it means.
She finishes dancing and I flutter my tongue in high call of praise while clapping. I have never seen such. She smiles that smile...."I thank you, Daughter, for sharing your food and your company with Me. Journey well, and safely. We shall meet again, you and I." And She is gone. Only that scent remains. And a wild desire to dance the rest of the day away. So I dance..as does Bear, and Heron, and Stag..and even Horse comes back to play. Weaving in and out and around, we dance until the sun sets and the stars light the night with their fire. *
Yes, I still dream. I simply do not always share them. This one needed it...I have not looked too closely at why. In any case, it stands as it is. Make of it what you will. As for me...Primal Dance is something I never conceived of before..and being an ordinary woman, not something I can do. To have seen it, not once but twice, is a gift beyond price. And encouragement too.
I shall hike the Mountain again today, naturally. There is no fever and I feel good, though there's still bit of congestion. That always takes a while to dissipate. I aim to tack on another 800 meters of distance this morning. I am liking the effect the exercise and eating are having on my body and mind. If I can keep this up long term I will begin to look better and better, wear better clothing, and even begin to look decent in my dance outfits. Works for me.
I was going through some stuff and came across some more plans for converting ordinary trailers into wagons...the sort you live in, not hay wagons. They are filed away where they ought to be.
Today is Imbolc....first day of Spring. I had intended to go to the Sunwheel this morning for dawn but family needs kept me home. Instead, I went outdoors at dawn and did my duty as is required of me. I will be at the Sunwheel this coming Sunday at the usual time, however.
I have heard from a friend that their sheep have birthed, so Imbolc seems to be right on spot. :)
More projects, more dancing, more drumming. More changes, more pleasure and happiness, more living of life. Yes, I am still very much aware of what is going on. Yet I have made all preparations that I am currently able to make...and carrying on with the health part..and being done with that, I am now enjoying some things as I have not been able to do until now. Still withdrawing myself from the modern industrial paradigm where and when I can, but it doesn't have to be full of privation and drudgery.
Find your music. Dance your dance.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
*** I am amused to note that some friends were struck by mine and Jannat's names; 'Jannat' is pronounced 'Ja-nay' and 'Shahzadeh' is pronounced 'SHAHza-day'. It was pointed out that they not only rhyme, they can be sung in a pleasant flow. LOL It was not planned; it just happened that way.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Drum & Dance
Last evening I introduced my son to the doumbek. I was delighted and a little surprised when, instead of returning to his computer as he usually does, he sat down and started playing with the drum. I showed him a few basic strikes and one ornament, and he sat there for the next couple of hours playing with it. He may have a talent here, just from listening to him tinker. As well, it may well help him handle anger, sadness, loneliness and excess energy. Drums can be very therapeutic and of course their use in ritual is unquestioned.
This presents the possibility of him drumming with Jannat and I, and even for us as we dance. The idea that he could drum and have dancers (not his parents) right in front of him appealed to his teenage mind..no surprise. More, he found the idea of drumming with others very tempting. I think it is a good sign.
I shall obtain a drum like Jannat's for him. They are inexpensive fiberglass drums with synthskin heads but they sound nice, are lightweight and, as I indicated, are inexpensive. He wants a purple one. As soon as circumstance permits I will get him one...in the meantime he can use Jannat's drum.
My own drum, well, the doumbek I will have, is ceramic with the Tree of Life sculpted into it and glazed in blues and greens. It has a real hide head and is big enough...just...for my larger hands. I can play smaller drums but it isn't easy as I have to adjust how I strike the drum and use less than optimal form. There are somewhat larger drums..but they are spun aluminum with synthetic heads OR djembe rather than doumbeks. I like the djembe, mind, but I am after playing the doumbek. They are similar, but not the same. The texture of their reverberations are different. Ah...I more 'feel' a drum than hear it, to be honest. It makes me picky.
I picked up a book on hand drumming and drum circles by a fellow who has been doing it and organizing them in a variety of venues for 30 years. He was hyperactive and the drum allowed him to find his way out and deal with it. As he put it. He included a free CD of his drumming and that CD is the one that we've been playing...and has been having Jannat and Shahzadeh both dancing all over the apartment while going about daily routines.
The book includes a large variety of rhythms..some I know, some are new...from a host of places and cultures. Beledi, Maqsum, Gawazi, Ayyub, Masmoudi, and Guwazi being some of the most common ones. I am having a ball with them. The CD isn't a lesson CD..just one of himself and others drumming and its a lovely disc. I may put it on when the Grove is next in the place, we'll see. There's a fair bit from Babatunde Olatjuni, who was a teacher of the authors'. Variant notations for the beats are included. The author signed the book, which was a nice touch. :)
I am not planning on running drum circles, but he goes into a lot of how to do that as well as handling the various challenges, including the showoff 'alpha' types, the ones who try to make an inner circle of their own, and a host of other things. He deals with drumming for special needs, elderly and at risk teens and adults as well. Quite fascinating stuff.
The season for drum circles begins soon; I am not interested in the pay to play ones, only in the more spontaneous community sorts, which can vary widely in quality. When the good weather comes in perhaps I'll sit outside with Talie and drum. Tristan, on the other hand, is after leaning how to use the standard drums that bands use. Me, I prefer the hand drum. I like the feel of the skin under my fingers, the personal nature of it.
Drumming aside, there's the dancing. As I have said, for the first time dance has become a major interest for its own sake, not simply because it is something good to do for the Temple. Doing it because *I* want to do it, in essence. Jannat is going to work with me on the zills; I am going to dampen the ring by taping the edges with painters tape. Keep us from going mad while I learn.
Dancing is good exercise..even just dancing around here to the disc...which, when added to the hikes, makes things even better. I was delighted to find that I could get into a favorite green wool skirt last night. Not the best fit just yet, so not something I'd wear for daily use, but soon, very soon, I should be able to do so. Other skirts too are in line to become common modes of dress for me. Woohoo! I love skirts. Even a couple of dresses.
OTOH, I have a green velveteen mini-dress....yeah, I said mini-dress. It isn't going to stay a mini-dress though. The upper portion of it I am going to turn into a choli top and the lower portion use for a belt foundation. It is a deep, rich, bottle green.
There's the silk we have, which would be wonderful for use in Persian or Central Asian attire..especially dance attire. As offensive as it might seem to some, be prepared for a mix of Persian, Central Asian, and Tribal influences. As I have previously noted, I can see where Tribal gets some of its movements; they come from Central Asian dance.
Doing our own thing, in our own way, and getting healthy...and happy. There's a bit of wisdom in there, I think.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
This presents the possibility of him drumming with Jannat and I, and even for us as we dance. The idea that he could drum and have dancers (not his parents) right in front of him appealed to his teenage mind..no surprise. More, he found the idea of drumming with others very tempting. I think it is a good sign.
I shall obtain a drum like Jannat's for him. They are inexpensive fiberglass drums with synthskin heads but they sound nice, are lightweight and, as I indicated, are inexpensive. He wants a purple one. As soon as circumstance permits I will get him one...in the meantime he can use Jannat's drum.
My own drum, well, the doumbek I will have, is ceramic with the Tree of Life sculpted into it and glazed in blues and greens. It has a real hide head and is big enough...just...for my larger hands. I can play smaller drums but it isn't easy as I have to adjust how I strike the drum and use less than optimal form. There are somewhat larger drums..but they are spun aluminum with synthetic heads OR djembe rather than doumbeks. I like the djembe, mind, but I am after playing the doumbek. They are similar, but not the same. The texture of their reverberations are different. Ah...I more 'feel' a drum than hear it, to be honest. It makes me picky.
I picked up a book on hand drumming and drum circles by a fellow who has been doing it and organizing them in a variety of venues for 30 years. He was hyperactive and the drum allowed him to find his way out and deal with it. As he put it. He included a free CD of his drumming and that CD is the one that we've been playing...and has been having Jannat and Shahzadeh both dancing all over the apartment while going about daily routines.
The book includes a large variety of rhythms..some I know, some are new...from a host of places and cultures. Beledi, Maqsum, Gawazi, Ayyub, Masmoudi, and Guwazi being some of the most common ones. I am having a ball with them. The CD isn't a lesson CD..just one of himself and others drumming and its a lovely disc. I may put it on when the Grove is next in the place, we'll see. There's a fair bit from Babatunde Olatjuni, who was a teacher of the authors'. Variant notations for the beats are included. The author signed the book, which was a nice touch. :)
I am not planning on running drum circles, but he goes into a lot of how to do that as well as handling the various challenges, including the showoff 'alpha' types, the ones who try to make an inner circle of their own, and a host of other things. He deals with drumming for special needs, elderly and at risk teens and adults as well. Quite fascinating stuff.
The season for drum circles begins soon; I am not interested in the pay to play ones, only in the more spontaneous community sorts, which can vary widely in quality. When the good weather comes in perhaps I'll sit outside with Talie and drum. Tristan, on the other hand, is after leaning how to use the standard drums that bands use. Me, I prefer the hand drum. I like the feel of the skin under my fingers, the personal nature of it.
Drumming aside, there's the dancing. As I have said, for the first time dance has become a major interest for its own sake, not simply because it is something good to do for the Temple. Doing it because *I* want to do it, in essence. Jannat is going to work with me on the zills; I am going to dampen the ring by taping the edges with painters tape. Keep us from going mad while I learn.
Dancing is good exercise..even just dancing around here to the disc...which, when added to the hikes, makes things even better. I was delighted to find that I could get into a favorite green wool skirt last night. Not the best fit just yet, so not something I'd wear for daily use, but soon, very soon, I should be able to do so. Other skirts too are in line to become common modes of dress for me. Woohoo! I love skirts. Even a couple of dresses.
OTOH, I have a green velveteen mini-dress....yeah, I said mini-dress. It isn't going to stay a mini-dress though. The upper portion of it I am going to turn into a choli top and the lower portion use for a belt foundation. It is a deep, rich, bottle green.
There's the silk we have, which would be wonderful for use in Persian or Central Asian attire..especially dance attire. As offensive as it might seem to some, be prepared for a mix of Persian, Central Asian, and Tribal influences. As I have previously noted, I can see where Tribal gets some of its movements; they come from Central Asian dance.
Doing our own thing, in our own way, and getting healthy...and happy. There's a bit of wisdom in there, I think.
Tabiti smile upon you.
Shahzadeh
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