I have a fascination with Ancient Rome; lots of people do really, but I've been fascinated with the history of that City since 5th grade. This fascination has prompted me to read everything I can get my hands on concerning it; I've been referred to on occasion as an amateur scholar of the subject. I'll leave that for others to decide but certainly the early Imperial period, the Principate, is of particular interest. It is called that because at that time the Emperors didn't call themselves 'Emperor', they called themselves 'Princeps'.
This fascination led me to become a citizen of Nova Roma as Marca Rutilia Severa and to reenact the Second Legion Adiutrix as well.
It also allows me to very easily see the very strong parallels between our decline and that of the Empire, as well as letting me see the differences. This does not include the memories I retain of having lived in the Empire either, although those are amongst my strongest and most complete memories of past lives.
Among the more interesting similarities is the storefront aspect, or merchant availability. Believe it or not, Rome had 'malls', the most famous of which would be the forum built by Trajan, much of which still stands today. In the natural progression of things shops would go empty, merchants vanish, only to be replaced by other enterprising people. Commonly seen in today's world too. But in the declining years the losses were not made up completely, which led to places standing empty for long periods...or permanently; new merchants were not replacing the old. We are seeing that in an increasingly obvious way today.
As the Empire grew weaker the 'malls' on the periphery, or those in the provinces to be more precise (and general!) disappeared entirely. I don't know how many strip malls, our modern equivalent, have faded away, but it is more than a few. In time even the main malls will fail, many of them, just as those in Rome itself did.
However, what took a very long time then will go faster now. Why? Because technology directly affects the rate of advance or decline. The more dependent we are on specific energy sources or methods of doing what we do, the more delicate that system becomes over time, especially when older methods are forgotten so not easily used to replace what is currently used. The more abstract the financial system, the more vulnerable to a crisis in confidence. At least in Ancient Rome the money was something tangible; most of what we use today is nothing but confidence, a confidence which is unraveling as we watch.
People like Madoff, Blago, and the corporate moguls have struck a very possibly mortal blow to the public's confidence in the very underpinnings of our system...but no one knows how to change to something else, nor do they wish to for any such change means a great deal of pain for pretty much everyone. There is, however, no way to avoid it. This too occured in the Ancient City, only it was confidence in the coinage itself that was shaken to the core. Debased to the point of worthlessness, things unravel very fast.
We are not far off of this. There is another aspect though; when you remove the confidence of the public in the basic underpinnings of their society, you remove the legitimacy of its governing structure as well. When that goes, so does respect for law and custom; people will do what they feel they must to cope. If they are angry enough they may decide the government isn't needed anymore and ignore it...or throw it off entirely. This happened to the Empire and it can very well happen here. Almost certainly will at some point unless we are very fortunate.
It would be entirely possible to see the rich resort to mercenary or private armies to defend themselves and their properties, and to see the 'middle class' (such as it is), band together to defend their towns or suburbs from those who don't belong. We saw this in micro scale in the aftermath of Katrina in New Orleans. The poor will be left to deal with the crumbling remains of government authority, assuming much is left. Probably not much of anything. Yep, this would be a rather chaotic, violent, and forced resumption of local and regional living. It is entirely possible and it did happen to the Empire.
I have often wondered why my memories of living in the Empire were so powerful. Perhaps this ongoing situation is the answer; it is at once familiar and infinitely saddening. There are differences though; in this case the Earth herself is sorrowing...and terribly, terribly angry. Her pain echoes through everything as does her wrath. The Empire, at least, hadn't managed to get that far although had it lasted it probably would have done so.
People are buying guns at a crazy rate, especially the middle class. They have various reasons but the primary one is some idea of property and self defense. It is a tiny step from that to the banded groups keeping people out who aren't part of a community already. When and if the situation gets bad enough, this will happen. Borders will be closed, people trying to pass through will be turned back, people not already of a place will be refused settlement. The land and a place can support only so many after all.
I have not bothered to purchase guns; I have a pair of black powder weapons, as well as a pair of modern weapons, but I'm not terribly concerned. If the time should come where I need the ultramodern there will be plenty available and the same goes for some other things. I am, however, working at archery, slinging, staff work, and even sword drills...these are unexpected and disregarded by most folk because guns are easier, more powerful, and do things at a distance. It is interesting how few people know just how close together most combatants are during a firefight...which fact is also why we still have bayonets and combat knives. Partly why anyway.
I have the offer of a place to go when things get ugly, assuming I don't manage to get someplace before then, for which I am massively grateful. The problem that will probably occur, assuming I can't get out of where I am earlier, is in crossing the demarcation lines just to get there once things devolve to that point. I have an advantage over some; I am a blacksmith, the which will be a valuable skill very soon now. It doesn't guarantee a thing.
These things few people consider when making plans and they are things that absolutely must be allowed for in the planning. There is a great deal more to preparation than deciding how to live in place when things go bad.
Some groups *are* planning for these things. Most are not. Some people are, most are not. Humans are naturally short sighted it would seem, even when trying to take the longer view.
Just some things to think about.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
A Journey of Illumination and Discovery
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Stuff
This is the Winter Solstice. Winter has arrived by common convention although meteorologists say it started around the 1st of December and a lot of us pagan folk call it the 1st of November.
Another Winter has arrived with it, and while the first one will pass as the seasons turn, this other one will only strengthen; we have felt the beginnings of the storm only.
I always dream strongly on the Midwinter Solstice..and last eventide and even today has been no exception. Last eventide I flew with the Heron and the Wren and what I saw has left me troubled, to say the least.
I took the form of an owl and went with Heron and Wren, who wished to show me things it was needful that I see and know.
I felt...Rage, Vengeance, Justice delayed finally exacted, Savage Exultation, Merciless intent. I saw, well, I won't describe in great detail what I saw. I will say this; suffering, starvation, strife, massive change, injustice, death...all of these in myriad forms. Wars of religion, race, land, and from pure lust, on many scales. Intolerance grows when it had been fading.
Within these things were occasional gleams, as light reflecting from glass, but they were tiny and widely scattered...and some fell prey to the Winter in their own right...victims of people who could no longer understand how to deal with people. Those that did not fail, sometimes guttered before growing...yet they remained small, almost hidden...
Rivers of people fleeing their fears yet heading into fear. Such is the way of migrations, yes, as is the gathering of predators to prey on the herds....
Many people swore they would change if they would only be spared but who or what they swore to or by I could not see. It was far too late for that. Much anger at 'people' who had promised these things would never happen, yet few truly angry at their own part, and fewer still ashamed of it.
I asked Heron if this was or may be and the answer, not from Heron, was "Yes". A chill washed over me.
In other places, as we flew, things were not so bad, in some places far worse; but in all places major change was taking place and nothing was as it had been, nor would ever be again.
The last words I heard just as I awoke were "This harvest is the crop of arrogance."
*****
I don't know how long we have. It is unlikely to be as long as many people, perhaps most people, think. Six months? Perhaps, if we are fortunate it will be that or a bit longer. We may stave things off with dumb luck, who knows? It doesn't really matter. In time we will have to reap the harvest.
This coming year is likely to be, for my part I will say Will Be, very challenging, to put it mildly. I cannot see clearly into it; a darkness veils things as through thick smoke. I have run into this before; I am not allowed to see certain things.
The Future, for the most part, is not set in stone; there is that much hope, and even during the flight there were places where things were not so bad or where promise was sleeping. There is always hope. These Islands of Hope were a joy to see.
Despite this I am calm and in fact happy to celebrate Yuletide; in such celebrations lies strength and power of other sort...and it also feeds the seed of hope. Darkness feeds on fear, as do many people, a sad state indeed. There is much to fear, yes, but do not let it gain control; use it to direct your preparations and fuel your hope. Turn it back on itself, that is one way to cope.
Looking ahead I am well pleased that I have at my command the memories of previous lives, even with the darkest aspects of those...for I am well armed to do what I must. It is no small thing to know...for the memories of the past will change any who recall them; this life is only one facet of the whole. Like anything, there are risks to knowing.
We of the Bear Clan are planning the next six months as best we can. We will end our consumer activities to the extent it is possible to do so. We have never bought into stocks or bonds and since insurance of any sort is unlikely to be worth much of anything, we have only that which we must have. We are not cogs in the great swindle scheme of global economics, not in the way most are. And we will end what little is left as we may.
The seas are getting rough. It should be an interesting year.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Another Winter has arrived with it, and while the first one will pass as the seasons turn, this other one will only strengthen; we have felt the beginnings of the storm only.
I always dream strongly on the Midwinter Solstice..and last eventide and even today has been no exception. Last eventide I flew with the Heron and the Wren and what I saw has left me troubled, to say the least.
I took the form of an owl and went with Heron and Wren, who wished to show me things it was needful that I see and know.
I felt...Rage, Vengeance, Justice delayed finally exacted, Savage Exultation, Merciless intent. I saw, well, I won't describe in great detail what I saw. I will say this; suffering, starvation, strife, massive change, injustice, death...all of these in myriad forms. Wars of religion, race, land, and from pure lust, on many scales. Intolerance grows when it had been fading.
Within these things were occasional gleams, as light reflecting from glass, but they were tiny and widely scattered...and some fell prey to the Winter in their own right...victims of people who could no longer understand how to deal with people. Those that did not fail, sometimes guttered before growing...yet they remained small, almost hidden...
Rivers of people fleeing their fears yet heading into fear. Such is the way of migrations, yes, as is the gathering of predators to prey on the herds....
Many people swore they would change if they would only be spared but who or what they swore to or by I could not see. It was far too late for that. Much anger at 'people' who had promised these things would never happen, yet few truly angry at their own part, and fewer still ashamed of it.
I asked Heron if this was or may be and the answer, not from Heron, was "Yes". A chill washed over me.
In other places, as we flew, things were not so bad, in some places far worse; but in all places major change was taking place and nothing was as it had been, nor would ever be again.
The last words I heard just as I awoke were "This harvest is the crop of arrogance."
*****
I don't know how long we have. It is unlikely to be as long as many people, perhaps most people, think. Six months? Perhaps, if we are fortunate it will be that or a bit longer. We may stave things off with dumb luck, who knows? It doesn't really matter. In time we will have to reap the harvest.
This coming year is likely to be, for my part I will say Will Be, very challenging, to put it mildly. I cannot see clearly into it; a darkness veils things as through thick smoke. I have run into this before; I am not allowed to see certain things.
The Future, for the most part, is not set in stone; there is that much hope, and even during the flight there were places where things were not so bad or where promise was sleeping. There is always hope. These Islands of Hope were a joy to see.
Despite this I am calm and in fact happy to celebrate Yuletide; in such celebrations lies strength and power of other sort...and it also feeds the seed of hope. Darkness feeds on fear, as do many people, a sad state indeed. There is much to fear, yes, but do not let it gain control; use it to direct your preparations and fuel your hope. Turn it back on itself, that is one way to cope.
Looking ahead I am well pleased that I have at my command the memories of previous lives, even with the darkest aspects of those...for I am well armed to do what I must. It is no small thing to know...for the memories of the past will change any who recall them; this life is only one facet of the whole. Like anything, there are risks to knowing.
We of the Bear Clan are planning the next six months as best we can. We will end our consumer activities to the extent it is possible to do so. We have never bought into stocks or bonds and since insurance of any sort is unlikely to be worth much of anything, we have only that which we must have. We are not cogs in the great swindle scheme of global economics, not in the way most are. And we will end what little is left as we may.
The seas are getting rough. It should be an interesting year.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Questions
Do you dream of drinking from the Grail?
That the Truth is held within a tale?
And Arthur sleeps now, ready to return?
Do you know that Jack lives in the Green?
That things are never as they seem?
That life is more than the money that you earn?
Do you?
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
That the Truth is held within a tale?
And Arthur sleeps now, ready to return?
Do you know that Jack lives in the Green?
That things are never as they seem?
That life is more than the money that you earn?
Do you?
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Adaptability & other things
The path one follows in life has many branches and sudden turns, even 'hidden drives' as signs sometimes proclaim along the way. We prepare for what we see ahead as best we can but for most of us this is no great distance and even for those of us who can see further we can never really be sure that what we are seeing will be or may be. More commonly it is the latter. All of us tend to adopt a way of looking at things that makes us most comfortable or which dovetails most neatly with our natures, sometimes both. It is a hard tendency to handle because we are so close to it all that we generally don't see it ourselves; it has to be pointed out by people or circumstance. Still, a good deal of questioning directed at what is regarded as fact is a good habit to get into.
Most of us like to see ourselves as flexible and adaptable, and as a species we have certainly been the latter. But as individuals most of us aren't nearly as adaptable as we'd like to think; we get upset and flustered when things don't go as planned or unexpected impediments arrive on the scene. For the most part we regain our equilibrium pretty quickly and manage to cope. But there are instances where this doesn't happen, especially in the larger picture, things that affect more than a small number of us at once. Like Climate Change or Resource Depletion.
We seem to have a 'reset' button connected to such large issues and by and large most will revert to the comfortable and familiar, waiting to see what will happen or for someone else to handle it.
This is a trait that is not conducive to survival on an individual scale. However adaptable the species may be, it doesn't extend all the way down and in fact we seem to have conditioned ourselves NOT to change, or to resist it as mightily as possible. How we got there is not something I'm going into since I am not an expert, although I have a very good notion *I* think. ;)
And that's just we ourselves. So what happens when Themselves take a hand and in fact inhibit adaptability? Ugly, in a word. But to be honest I don't blame Them for this; it is our own doing and that is that. People like scapegoats though, blame must be apportioned, so why not the ones who are different? Not like 'us'? 'THEM!' We do this almost routinely as a whole. It derives in part from survival traits I think; competition for food and so on. My, we have advanced haven't we?
So you will pardon me for thinking our transition into deindustrial life isn't going to be a hard yet peaceful descent into something more balanced. Human history doesn't really support that; if anything, it supports warfare over what is needed. Certainly when looked at from the macro perspective things look slow and generally peaceful...but anyone confronted with the more brutal aspects isn't going to look kindly on such an objective opinion from someone. People trying to push this idea during upheaval might well pay for it in painful ways. However gradual the descent overall I still say what matters is the regional and local level, since for anyone there undergoing social upheaval or worse isn't going to think of things as going slowly.
I'm a very much local, perhaps regional Druid so I look at things from that perspective. Especially since the things that allow us to be national or global are likely to be amongst those things that become scarce or too expensive for most to have or have access to. The world gets a lot larger in some ways, and a whole lot smaller in others; it is a matter of perspective. And what of those who have no home and must wander, nomads in effect, how should they look at things? Will they care for the dispassionate big picture point of view? I don't think so, certainly not at first. Perhaps after a few generations, if they even care about such things anymore.
I don't subscribe to a total Mad Max scenario...neither do I subscribe to a basically peaceful and law abiding descent overall. I suspect, as usual, things will be in between...and to be honest I actually prepare for the worst case. I *suspect* we'll get middle of the road, I *hope* for something better, but I *prepare* for the worst. There is nothing wrong with this approach.
Looking ahead I am not soothed; granted most of what I see is simple possibility, with no knowing what various actions will do to the vision. But there are those that happen occasionally...the ones that repeat three times in succession and are absolutely identical in every respect...those are the ones that have always come to fruition. I don't like some of those I've had lately.
I'm trying to attend every martial arts class I can over the next six months, since we've paid for it anyway...mostly though because I am not sure I'll have access after that, possibly before. I need enough to mix in with what I know already...which is formidable...such that I might create my own style. It has been said on occasion, by people who know me well, that I have an unfair advantage over some in live roleplaying or reenactment battles due to the fact that I remember many of my lifetimes as a warrior. Perhaps. All things happen for a reason. I am not going to say I am sorry. We all have our gifts and abilities; these happen to be mine and if I have been very singularly oriented most of my lifetimes then that is simply how it is.
Yes, in time it is my intent to create or cause to be created a Temple for the training of Druids and the Warriors who guard them. They could be the same person now and then, but that is harder than might be expected as any who try that will find. For my part I am Druid, Bard, and Warrior...and a Seer to boot. I'm not sure what that means but it has proven to be a very potent combination. The only reason it comes so easily to me, relatively speaking, is that I don't have to think much about the Warrior aspect; that is a gift and it comes naturally.
In the times that are starting, as Old Night begins to fall, we would be wise to take stock of ourselves; it is pretty much rather late to get started preparing in other ways. Look to your spirits and your drive; lean on those close to you at need and return the favor to others. Armor your spirit in whichever way works best; we are in for some very interesting times. Seek others of like mind for moral support if nothing else. Look to your God(s) for guidance or strength, or if you own no God(s) look to your own inner fire for strength. It wouldn't hurt anyone to look to their inner fire and tend it carefully. Clear your decks of unneccesary detritus...make the route clean for your spirit.
These things would be wise. Music can help. It is the gateway to every place and every time, it is the greatest gift the Gods have given us...and it holds within it the power of Creation...as well as destruction. It was said that a competent Bard could kill with it such was their mastery of word and note. If it is not something that speaks to you then find some you enjoy listening to...it can soothe you as few other things may. Get used to making your own music for in good time that is all many of us will have.
A tough time, aye, but we may, some of us, get through fairly well. At the least we can try to ease the way of those who follow. Stand to the battlements and hold your ground; buy time if nothing else. It is a great gift even if many do not mark it.
*****
*I am annoyed, angry really. Sputtering mad and I'm directing a stream of invective on a youngster who looks like he could hide under a rock at any moment. The thought causes me to stop in mid word and then laugh. Now he looks as if he's in the presence of a madwoman capable of anything. I am angry because he has come to tell me about some people approaching our villages....but that is all. No description, no count, no direction, nothing at all. The information is next to useless as it will take precious time to ascertain these things, time we may not have. Fixing this youngster with a gimlet eye I in fact enjoy his discomfort and think how different he is from the swaggering self important young man that approached me. I gesture and he all but runs away. Grumbling I turn and eye the others who've been watching this tableau for a moment. "Think I was too harsh?" No one answers although there are some tight smiles. "He got off easy." Shaking my head I consider a moment; "Well, we haven't a choice. Let's get some trusty people with eyes and brains out there to have a look. It might be nothing, but it might be something we need to know more about."
I am in a library, rather like the ones we used to see in movies...wall to wall books with leather furniture. I'm tired yet I have much to do; the complacency of people is a never ending problem in times of difficulty. I'm reading Tacitus but I'm not sure why....
I'm watching Jeni dance in the temple, remembering other times and places....
I'm fighting in a desperate battle....we are delaying the advance of people while our own attempt to move and take much of what we have with them. I know this is the third stand we have made in as many weeks. We are very tired and there are few places left now to make effective stands...given our depleted numbers. Most of us have realized we are not likely to rejoin those we are buying time for...but that is a small matter as long as we can buy *enough* time. There are too few of us now to use some of the better places along the way but we have become adept at using passive measures to 'increase' our numbers. We only have to hold for another week to ensure enough distance and material has been achieved....'Andraste strengthen me, guide me in the slaughter, take Your due from my hands and give us the time we need...Brigantia defend our people and guide them to safety. To you my spirit is given in love and duty...' A prayer of the last extremity perhaps.
I'm lying on the ground so cold...I am looking down at myself. I look around at others standing near; I do not know them...I see the mists part and the bridge of swords...and I see my lass on the other side...and my Lady smiling to me. "Now it is time. Rest a while and gather strength.."*
I woke up. Fractured dreams, intense, there is much I have not included. I am tired.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Most of us like to see ourselves as flexible and adaptable, and as a species we have certainly been the latter. But as individuals most of us aren't nearly as adaptable as we'd like to think; we get upset and flustered when things don't go as planned or unexpected impediments arrive on the scene. For the most part we regain our equilibrium pretty quickly and manage to cope. But there are instances where this doesn't happen, especially in the larger picture, things that affect more than a small number of us at once. Like Climate Change or Resource Depletion.
We seem to have a 'reset' button connected to such large issues and by and large most will revert to the comfortable and familiar, waiting to see what will happen or for someone else to handle it.
This is a trait that is not conducive to survival on an individual scale. However adaptable the species may be, it doesn't extend all the way down and in fact we seem to have conditioned ourselves NOT to change, or to resist it as mightily as possible. How we got there is not something I'm going into since I am not an expert, although I have a very good notion *I* think. ;)
And that's just we ourselves. So what happens when Themselves take a hand and in fact inhibit adaptability? Ugly, in a word. But to be honest I don't blame Them for this; it is our own doing and that is that. People like scapegoats though, blame must be apportioned, so why not the ones who are different? Not like 'us'? 'THEM!' We do this almost routinely as a whole. It derives in part from survival traits I think; competition for food and so on. My, we have advanced haven't we?
So you will pardon me for thinking our transition into deindustrial life isn't going to be a hard yet peaceful descent into something more balanced. Human history doesn't really support that; if anything, it supports warfare over what is needed. Certainly when looked at from the macro perspective things look slow and generally peaceful...but anyone confronted with the more brutal aspects isn't going to look kindly on such an objective opinion from someone. People trying to push this idea during upheaval might well pay for it in painful ways. However gradual the descent overall I still say what matters is the regional and local level, since for anyone there undergoing social upheaval or worse isn't going to think of things as going slowly.
I'm a very much local, perhaps regional Druid so I look at things from that perspective. Especially since the things that allow us to be national or global are likely to be amongst those things that become scarce or too expensive for most to have or have access to. The world gets a lot larger in some ways, and a whole lot smaller in others; it is a matter of perspective. And what of those who have no home and must wander, nomads in effect, how should they look at things? Will they care for the dispassionate big picture point of view? I don't think so, certainly not at first. Perhaps after a few generations, if they even care about such things anymore.
I don't subscribe to a total Mad Max scenario...neither do I subscribe to a basically peaceful and law abiding descent overall. I suspect, as usual, things will be in between...and to be honest I actually prepare for the worst case. I *suspect* we'll get middle of the road, I *hope* for something better, but I *prepare* for the worst. There is nothing wrong with this approach.
Looking ahead I am not soothed; granted most of what I see is simple possibility, with no knowing what various actions will do to the vision. But there are those that happen occasionally...the ones that repeat three times in succession and are absolutely identical in every respect...those are the ones that have always come to fruition. I don't like some of those I've had lately.
I'm trying to attend every martial arts class I can over the next six months, since we've paid for it anyway...mostly though because I am not sure I'll have access after that, possibly before. I need enough to mix in with what I know already...which is formidable...such that I might create my own style. It has been said on occasion, by people who know me well, that I have an unfair advantage over some in live roleplaying or reenactment battles due to the fact that I remember many of my lifetimes as a warrior. Perhaps. All things happen for a reason. I am not going to say I am sorry. We all have our gifts and abilities; these happen to be mine and if I have been very singularly oriented most of my lifetimes then that is simply how it is.
Yes, in time it is my intent to create or cause to be created a Temple for the training of Druids and the Warriors who guard them. They could be the same person now and then, but that is harder than might be expected as any who try that will find. For my part I am Druid, Bard, and Warrior...and a Seer to boot. I'm not sure what that means but it has proven to be a very potent combination. The only reason it comes so easily to me, relatively speaking, is that I don't have to think much about the Warrior aspect; that is a gift and it comes naturally.
In the times that are starting, as Old Night begins to fall, we would be wise to take stock of ourselves; it is pretty much rather late to get started preparing in other ways. Look to your spirits and your drive; lean on those close to you at need and return the favor to others. Armor your spirit in whichever way works best; we are in for some very interesting times. Seek others of like mind for moral support if nothing else. Look to your God(s) for guidance or strength, or if you own no God(s) look to your own inner fire for strength. It wouldn't hurt anyone to look to their inner fire and tend it carefully. Clear your decks of unneccesary detritus...make the route clean for your spirit.
These things would be wise. Music can help. It is the gateway to every place and every time, it is the greatest gift the Gods have given us...and it holds within it the power of Creation...as well as destruction. It was said that a competent Bard could kill with it such was their mastery of word and note. If it is not something that speaks to you then find some you enjoy listening to...it can soothe you as few other things may. Get used to making your own music for in good time that is all many of us will have.
A tough time, aye, but we may, some of us, get through fairly well. At the least we can try to ease the way of those who follow. Stand to the battlements and hold your ground; buy time if nothing else. It is a great gift even if many do not mark it.
*****
*I am annoyed, angry really. Sputtering mad and I'm directing a stream of invective on a youngster who looks like he could hide under a rock at any moment. The thought causes me to stop in mid word and then laugh. Now he looks as if he's in the presence of a madwoman capable of anything. I am angry because he has come to tell me about some people approaching our villages....but that is all. No description, no count, no direction, nothing at all. The information is next to useless as it will take precious time to ascertain these things, time we may not have. Fixing this youngster with a gimlet eye I in fact enjoy his discomfort and think how different he is from the swaggering self important young man that approached me. I gesture and he all but runs away. Grumbling I turn and eye the others who've been watching this tableau for a moment. "Think I was too harsh?" No one answers although there are some tight smiles. "He got off easy." Shaking my head I consider a moment; "Well, we haven't a choice. Let's get some trusty people with eyes and brains out there to have a look. It might be nothing, but it might be something we need to know more about."
I am in a library, rather like the ones we used to see in movies...wall to wall books with leather furniture. I'm tired yet I have much to do; the complacency of people is a never ending problem in times of difficulty. I'm reading Tacitus but I'm not sure why....
I'm watching Jeni dance in the temple, remembering other times and places....
I'm fighting in a desperate battle....we are delaying the advance of people while our own attempt to move and take much of what we have with them. I know this is the third stand we have made in as many weeks. We are very tired and there are few places left now to make effective stands...given our depleted numbers. Most of us have realized we are not likely to rejoin those we are buying time for...but that is a small matter as long as we can buy *enough* time. There are too few of us now to use some of the better places along the way but we have become adept at using passive measures to 'increase' our numbers. We only have to hold for another week to ensure enough distance and material has been achieved....'Andraste strengthen me, guide me in the slaughter, take Your due from my hands and give us the time we need...Brigantia defend our people and guide them to safety. To you my spirit is given in love and duty...' A prayer of the last extremity perhaps.
I'm lying on the ground so cold...I am looking down at myself. I look around at others standing near; I do not know them...I see the mists part and the bridge of swords...and I see my lass on the other side...and my Lady smiling to me. "Now it is time. Rest a while and gather strength.."*
I woke up. Fractured dreams, intense, there is much I have not included. I am tired.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Watching
I'm watching. Silent in voice for the most part, if not in thought or dream.
The economy will never be what it once was; an economy of some sort there will be, but it will be very localized, regionalized perhaps, but rarely much more than that. The resources the great global economy were built on are either no more or dwindling fast. We no longer have the resources to change things as long as we insist on keeping things going as they are...which is precisely what we are doing.
The word is out; the Arctic is warmer than it should be by far and much warmer than it was predicted to be by 2015; we could easily be looking at totally ice free summers in the Arctic in a couple of years. Farewell the polar bear and others of that sort; they are in good company as the extinction continues.
We are too little and too late to affect Climate Change. That change is likely to be very harsh if not catastrophic. Such things cause migrations, of which we have been seeing the beginning in the last few years. They will get worse. Such changes also cause food shortages.
We cannot produce enough food for our people without the heavy petroleum product agribusiness farming we currently use. No manner of fancy tricks will get around that. If Climate Change should toss its hat into the ring, how much worse might that become?
Petroleum product production peaked last year. It plateaued in '05. By 2015 we'll be producing 60mbd by some estimates...while maintaining an 80+ mbd demand. That's pretty optimistic too according to some.
A lot of people post hopeful notes on how they believe we will get by better than expected, that the better natures of people and their ingenuity will make this less difficult than it could be. You know, I really, really hope they are right.
But I am not going to base one calculation on that hope. Not even close.
It is unlikely we will be able to purchase a home in the accustomed way or in the near future; there is no credit and prices are being stubbornly kept out of reach of most folk here. This won't last, but by the time it corrects itself there won't be much left of the banking system we once knew...and money may be worth very little or be valued in a totally different way.
I'm far more interested in how various governments are going to handle land allocation; reallocation for more efficient and careful use will have to be done at some point. Historically, land issues have been involved in most revolutions....
Sharon Astyk has made some predictions for '09...she was pretty good with her '08 statements. Some on the new list have already happened; apparently she doesn't think so and that's fine. But I'm not about to don rosy glasses; I handle negative things very well thanks. Depression isn't a problem for me.
I agree though, that this coming year will be the year of 'Collapse', depending on how one defines it. If we are fortunate then it won't be the sort that leaps to mind or happens in novels. If we are not...well, there's a lot of shading in that word.
I've already heard a number of folk talking about going shopping with firearms if things get really bad; they know people who have prepared and they themselves haven't. In this state the chance they'll run into someone who also is armed and prepared to use force is not high; we've got a very cowed populace here. I am not one of them.
I agree with Sharon that some form of normalcy may hang on until Summer. If we are fortunate. I hope so. I really do.
I'm a basically happy person, generally easygoing and I don't get depressed easily; even when I do I don't stay there for very long at all...never even a day and it is a rare event. But I'm not a happy-happy-joy-joy person either when it comes to reality. I take it face on and drive into it, no softening, no padding...just frontal assault. Reality is a bitch when it comes knocking and it hurts a lot, so I don't give it the chance to hurt more by trying to soften things...or build contingency plans on hope or assumptions. Other than expect and prepare for the worst....then be very happy if it doesn't happen.
I still look askance at people who appear to assume that people with families will quietly starve because it is the law rather than try to do what they have to in order to survive. I'm guessing folk are using the Great Depression as a model...but this isn't then and our people are not those...and we don't have the huge pool of resources to get us out of this. Not any longer. And they didn't have Climate Change to sweeten the mix. So I don't go too far in such comparisons. Also because I'm not the sort to sit and starve due to status issues; I'll leave that to others. I will do what I have to do if I am pushed to it.
It is very possible we'll wind up homeless in the coming year, especially if Jen gets laid off; there will be a lot of that going on next year. Just how do people think I'll handle that? I've been there before, I can survive it. I was content to more or less do as society expected since I was single then. I've a family now. That changes the equation dramatically. I don't have living relatives to go to, nor does she. We are all we have and we are not alone in that respect. It is easy not to see such people...but it is a mistake to blind oneself to them. It will become moreso in time.
So we're hunting for a house to rent. Rents are climbing, not falling, as foreclosures mount so success if far from guaranteed. We are looking though. We can't move until February unfortunately, but there it is. Mostly I'm trying to find a place where I can set up my forge and do a bit of gardening. If we can do that we can manage I think.
A hard year is coming. It is a bit late to prepare, but if you haven't I suggest you try. If you've put it off I suggest you stop doing so.
May the Gods grant blessings in equal measure to merit, and a deal more besides.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
The economy will never be what it once was; an economy of some sort there will be, but it will be very localized, regionalized perhaps, but rarely much more than that. The resources the great global economy were built on are either no more or dwindling fast. We no longer have the resources to change things as long as we insist on keeping things going as they are...which is precisely what we are doing.
The word is out; the Arctic is warmer than it should be by far and much warmer than it was predicted to be by 2015; we could easily be looking at totally ice free summers in the Arctic in a couple of years. Farewell the polar bear and others of that sort; they are in good company as the extinction continues.
We are too little and too late to affect Climate Change. That change is likely to be very harsh if not catastrophic. Such things cause migrations, of which we have been seeing the beginning in the last few years. They will get worse. Such changes also cause food shortages.
We cannot produce enough food for our people without the heavy petroleum product agribusiness farming we currently use. No manner of fancy tricks will get around that. If Climate Change should toss its hat into the ring, how much worse might that become?
Petroleum product production peaked last year. It plateaued in '05. By 2015 we'll be producing 60mbd by some estimates...while maintaining an 80+ mbd demand. That's pretty optimistic too according to some.
A lot of people post hopeful notes on how they believe we will get by better than expected, that the better natures of people and their ingenuity will make this less difficult than it could be. You know, I really, really hope they are right.
But I am not going to base one calculation on that hope. Not even close.
It is unlikely we will be able to purchase a home in the accustomed way or in the near future; there is no credit and prices are being stubbornly kept out of reach of most folk here. This won't last, but by the time it corrects itself there won't be much left of the banking system we once knew...and money may be worth very little or be valued in a totally different way.
I'm far more interested in how various governments are going to handle land allocation; reallocation for more efficient and careful use will have to be done at some point. Historically, land issues have been involved in most revolutions....
Sharon Astyk has made some predictions for '09...she was pretty good with her '08 statements. Some on the new list have already happened; apparently she doesn't think so and that's fine. But I'm not about to don rosy glasses; I handle negative things very well thanks. Depression isn't a problem for me.
I agree though, that this coming year will be the year of 'Collapse', depending on how one defines it. If we are fortunate then it won't be the sort that leaps to mind or happens in novels. If we are not...well, there's a lot of shading in that word.
I've already heard a number of folk talking about going shopping with firearms if things get really bad; they know people who have prepared and they themselves haven't. In this state the chance they'll run into someone who also is armed and prepared to use force is not high; we've got a very cowed populace here. I am not one of them.
I agree with Sharon that some form of normalcy may hang on until Summer. If we are fortunate. I hope so. I really do.
I'm a basically happy person, generally easygoing and I don't get depressed easily; even when I do I don't stay there for very long at all...never even a day and it is a rare event. But I'm not a happy-happy-joy-joy person either when it comes to reality. I take it face on and drive into it, no softening, no padding...just frontal assault. Reality is a bitch when it comes knocking and it hurts a lot, so I don't give it the chance to hurt more by trying to soften things...or build contingency plans on hope or assumptions. Other than expect and prepare for the worst....then be very happy if it doesn't happen.
I still look askance at people who appear to assume that people with families will quietly starve because it is the law rather than try to do what they have to in order to survive. I'm guessing folk are using the Great Depression as a model...but this isn't then and our people are not those...and we don't have the huge pool of resources to get us out of this. Not any longer. And they didn't have Climate Change to sweeten the mix. So I don't go too far in such comparisons. Also because I'm not the sort to sit and starve due to status issues; I'll leave that to others. I will do what I have to do if I am pushed to it.
It is very possible we'll wind up homeless in the coming year, especially if Jen gets laid off; there will be a lot of that going on next year. Just how do people think I'll handle that? I've been there before, I can survive it. I was content to more or less do as society expected since I was single then. I've a family now. That changes the equation dramatically. I don't have living relatives to go to, nor does she. We are all we have and we are not alone in that respect. It is easy not to see such people...but it is a mistake to blind oneself to them. It will become moreso in time.
So we're hunting for a house to rent. Rents are climbing, not falling, as foreclosures mount so success if far from guaranteed. We are looking though. We can't move until February unfortunately, but there it is. Mostly I'm trying to find a place where I can set up my forge and do a bit of gardening. If we can do that we can manage I think.
A hard year is coming. It is a bit late to prepare, but if you haven't I suggest you try. If you've put it off I suggest you stop doing so.
May the Gods grant blessings in equal measure to merit, and a deal more besides.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Friday, December 12, 2008
Different
"I am sitting in a nice rocking chair before a cozy fire. There are windows I can see out of since while they themselves are closed their shutters are open. This is a common hall or inn I think...an inn comes to mind. On a table near to hand is a cup of mulled cider still steaming. I am trim and fit although the cold easily gets into my bones as they say and I am well dressed even though it is a nice sunny day in Spring. I can hear the muffled rumble of bartering going on outside; thinking of this I realize that some time ago money lost any real value beyond very local boundaries...and at that it is coins that matter, not paper although some of the larger costers use letters of payment sent from one post to another. Still, this is rare since there aren't that many large costers and there is still distrust of paper.
I'm wearing a linen dress with a wool dalmatica over the top, and a light wool robe over that in white. Simple leather shoes peep out from under the hem and my staff leans against the wall near the fireplace. I take a sip of the cider and shudder as the warmth spreads through me. Glancing out the window I smile slightly, for while the last few years have been very very hard for most people, right here right now things are not so bad and the fields look promising for later in the year.
No one has much anymore and interestingly enough most folk seem happier in many ways to what I remember. There are children doing chores and doing the things that children do...escaping from said chores and making much noise, but they seem happy enough. My sons run my old smithy these days which is the cause of my being able to sit here and drink cider. The only thing missing is Jen but she has passed on and I am old...I still feel her loss deeply despite the time. It is not yet time for me to join her.
A man comes and takes a seat nearby and I realize with a shock that it is Lyle, gone all white now, although not bent. He does limp a bit and sits carefully though and grumbles about the cold. I laugh softly and nod a greeting as I continue to let my senses absorb everything going on around me. So begins the gathering of the old fogies...or elders...or whatever you want to call them. We'll sit and sip cider, grumble and rumble about things and in effect cause the younger folk to roll their eyes and sigh...something we find quite amusing. Later the storytelling will begin along with reminiscences....the youngest folk will have little patience with them as is their way, not having known of the things that were.
It is not a bad life now, far better than the years just after money ceased to be what everyone thought it was and the migrations caused so much chaos. Hard times are not over we know this, the climate is still changing and there are the occasional upheavals of people and disease, but for now we have enough to eat, most of the time, and shelter and a pretty fair place to live. We tend to take each day as we find it, and that's not really a bad way to be."
Now that was an unusual dream; no huge portents, no warfare...just...ordinary life. Wish I had more like this one. Of course, it isn't without its own messages naturally and how one goes from where we are now to something like that is no small thing, but it was a pleasant dream nonetheless.
Be wary, folks. As early as the end of next year money as we know it may have no value, or no value in the way we usually think of it.
There is no escaping what is coming; we have locked ourselves into seriously ugly climate change and have dallied so long trying to keep the system going in business as usual mode that we've lost any real chance of a soft transition. Or even of a moderately hard one. The signs are obvious to anyone with open eyes and minds.
I'm watching this group 'Take Back the Land' in Florida with great interest. I suspect we'll see more such groups springing up as we progress through the next two or three years. Our system is not good at adapting, is not flexible and so the whole routine will keep on even when it isn't working...and taking everything someone has and leaving nothing to lose isn't a smart move. But that is exactly what the system is doing. People who have nothing left to lose have a tendency to feel cornered, and cornered animals tend to be pretty fierce. Will we cross that line? Probably, although I hope not. Almost certainly in localized situations.
Some of the dreams and visions I've had that I cannot share are nothing like as comforting as the one I have related above. The Sight has been less than encouraging of late.
Prepare yourselves as best you can, if you haven't already.
Brightest of Blessings
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I'm wearing a linen dress with a wool dalmatica over the top, and a light wool robe over that in white. Simple leather shoes peep out from under the hem and my staff leans against the wall near the fireplace. I take a sip of the cider and shudder as the warmth spreads through me. Glancing out the window I smile slightly, for while the last few years have been very very hard for most people, right here right now things are not so bad and the fields look promising for later in the year.
No one has much anymore and interestingly enough most folk seem happier in many ways to what I remember. There are children doing chores and doing the things that children do...escaping from said chores and making much noise, but they seem happy enough. My sons run my old smithy these days which is the cause of my being able to sit here and drink cider. The only thing missing is Jen but she has passed on and I am old...I still feel her loss deeply despite the time. It is not yet time for me to join her.
A man comes and takes a seat nearby and I realize with a shock that it is Lyle, gone all white now, although not bent. He does limp a bit and sits carefully though and grumbles about the cold. I laugh softly and nod a greeting as I continue to let my senses absorb everything going on around me. So begins the gathering of the old fogies...or elders...or whatever you want to call them. We'll sit and sip cider, grumble and rumble about things and in effect cause the younger folk to roll their eyes and sigh...something we find quite amusing. Later the storytelling will begin along with reminiscences....the youngest folk will have little patience with them as is their way, not having known of the things that were.
It is not a bad life now, far better than the years just after money ceased to be what everyone thought it was and the migrations caused so much chaos. Hard times are not over we know this, the climate is still changing and there are the occasional upheavals of people and disease, but for now we have enough to eat, most of the time, and shelter and a pretty fair place to live. We tend to take each day as we find it, and that's not really a bad way to be."
Now that was an unusual dream; no huge portents, no warfare...just...ordinary life. Wish I had more like this one. Of course, it isn't without its own messages naturally and how one goes from where we are now to something like that is no small thing, but it was a pleasant dream nonetheless.
Be wary, folks. As early as the end of next year money as we know it may have no value, or no value in the way we usually think of it.
There is no escaping what is coming; we have locked ourselves into seriously ugly climate change and have dallied so long trying to keep the system going in business as usual mode that we've lost any real chance of a soft transition. Or even of a moderately hard one. The signs are obvious to anyone with open eyes and minds.
I'm watching this group 'Take Back the Land' in Florida with great interest. I suspect we'll see more such groups springing up as we progress through the next two or three years. Our system is not good at adapting, is not flexible and so the whole routine will keep on even when it isn't working...and taking everything someone has and leaving nothing to lose isn't a smart move. But that is exactly what the system is doing. People who have nothing left to lose have a tendency to feel cornered, and cornered animals tend to be pretty fierce. Will we cross that line? Probably, although I hope not. Almost certainly in localized situations.
Some of the dreams and visions I've had that I cannot share are nothing like as comforting as the one I have related above. The Sight has been less than encouraging of late.
Prepare yourselves as best you can, if you haven't already.
Brightest of Blessings
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Unusual
"I am strolling along a path that winds its way leisurely around and across a tall hill. I am aware that the path traces out a kind of maze and that walking it with the right intent can bring one into the Otherworld. I am not walking it with that intent now.
I am enjoying the sunshine; it is late Spring judging by the grass and a warm gentle breeze playing hob with my hair. Such is the curse of very fine hair. It is red in shade, but I know that is just coloring and that in time it will turn silver if I let it. I am fit and healthy, in combat trim and have no need to lean on my staff as I go. There is an outcropping of rock just over the top of this hill; I like to sit there and watch the world once the sun warms the stone.
Reaching the outcropping I stand and look about me; the air is clear and there are no clouds so I can see a great distance. Seating myself in my stone 'chair' I sigh then laugh with pleasure, closing my eyes and leaning back for a few moments. When I open them again Mother Bear is nearby, sitting on the grass and gazing out at the landscape. I have not seen her in some time so I am pleased although I do not disturb her. But turning her great head she regards me a moment and then asks me if I notice anything different today.
Curious I sit up and look about, taking greater care to actually see as opposed to expecting. I don't see anything obvious and say so. She nods and is quiet for a moment. Then 'Are you sure?' Such a statement cannot help but sharpen my interest yet I know if I ask what she means I will simply get more cryptic comments, so once again I look about. I see the busy insects, the flight of birds....but I do not see rabbits, ground squirrels, or anything else, and when I look closely at the insects I see they are all coming, as it were, not going...and the birds are all roosting in strong trees though it is daylight and clear. Tilting my head I consider this for a moment.
"It seems to me" say I "that the birds and insects are taking shelter for some reason. Since I see no sign of other animals I can theorize that they too have taken shelter, though from what I do not know." She nods slowly and looks away South and I follow her gaze; there is the suggestion of a shadow flitting about coming ever northward. Frowning I regard it, but I cannot seem to pin it down; each time I think I am about to get a clear look it...fades away and reappears elsewhere. I am fascinated...and disturbed. "What is that? I have seen nothing like it before. Almost it seems a living shadow." She regards me and says "Or perhaps something moving too fast to see clearly." I nod, but mention that she has not answered my question.
She thumps a paw on the ground and tells me to make fire there. This I do with no difficulties at all although it is small and if the small store of wood kept near these rocks is consumed, it won't be lit again until that store is replenished. "Very well, I have lit the flames. What is it that you wish with the fire?"
"Sit." She tells me. Look into the flames and tell me what you see. I arch an eyebrow but do as indicated and seat myself, looking deeply into the fire. After a short while images begin to appear; a town or village busy with daily life. I see my family and some of my friends; the day is clear and they appear happy, just as it was when I left it earlier this morning. Heat waves ripple across it and the scene changes...another place, I don't know where, it is clear but it seems as a cloud is passing overhead for it grows darker as I watch. Something is there; a rain of dust of some sort it seems....every so often dust filters down onto everything and as it does so, the color leaches out of anything it touches. This is startling.
I look at her; "Is this what that shadow is? Some strange dust carrying storm? But what is it that causes it to leach color, or is that simply an indication that where this goes difficulty follows?
You have many questions but you have already seen, or already know the answers. But there is something that perhaps you have not yet awoken to; your village isn't taking its cue from the animals....
I blink as I absorb the gentle reprimand and the nudge all at once. I frown then and look back to the dying fire. Perhaps....I feed it just enough fuel to make it burn well for a few moments as I stare into it, seeking a particular image. When I have it, I try to impart a simple sense of unease; it will take me a good long time to return home and if this works it will save time. I have done this before but it is unreliable at the best of times...
I cannot tell if I got the idea through but I decide I can no longer wait. The pleasant day does not seem so pleasant now, even though I know the shadow, if that is what it is, that is coming here is still a good long way off. I nod to Mother Bear and and take up my staff, striding down the path...some things must be done correctly after all. Even in a hurry."
Then I woke up. That thing is so full of possibility its unreal. Some things seem to stand out but there is little of a hard nature to lock to. Perhaps that's the whole idea; there is nothing hard to lock on to. I don't know yet, I need to think about it.
Unusual dream; I haven't had one quite like this in a while.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I am enjoying the sunshine; it is late Spring judging by the grass and a warm gentle breeze playing hob with my hair. Such is the curse of very fine hair. It is red in shade, but I know that is just coloring and that in time it will turn silver if I let it. I am fit and healthy, in combat trim and have no need to lean on my staff as I go. There is an outcropping of rock just over the top of this hill; I like to sit there and watch the world once the sun warms the stone.
Reaching the outcropping I stand and look about me; the air is clear and there are no clouds so I can see a great distance. Seating myself in my stone 'chair' I sigh then laugh with pleasure, closing my eyes and leaning back for a few moments. When I open them again Mother Bear is nearby, sitting on the grass and gazing out at the landscape. I have not seen her in some time so I am pleased although I do not disturb her. But turning her great head she regards me a moment and then asks me if I notice anything different today.
Curious I sit up and look about, taking greater care to actually see as opposed to expecting. I don't see anything obvious and say so. She nods and is quiet for a moment. Then 'Are you sure?' Such a statement cannot help but sharpen my interest yet I know if I ask what she means I will simply get more cryptic comments, so once again I look about. I see the busy insects, the flight of birds....but I do not see rabbits, ground squirrels, or anything else, and when I look closely at the insects I see they are all coming, as it were, not going...and the birds are all roosting in strong trees though it is daylight and clear. Tilting my head I consider this for a moment.
"It seems to me" say I "that the birds and insects are taking shelter for some reason. Since I see no sign of other animals I can theorize that they too have taken shelter, though from what I do not know." She nods slowly and looks away South and I follow her gaze; there is the suggestion of a shadow flitting about coming ever northward. Frowning I regard it, but I cannot seem to pin it down; each time I think I am about to get a clear look it...fades away and reappears elsewhere. I am fascinated...and disturbed. "What is that? I have seen nothing like it before. Almost it seems a living shadow." She regards me and says "Or perhaps something moving too fast to see clearly." I nod, but mention that she has not answered my question.
She thumps a paw on the ground and tells me to make fire there. This I do with no difficulties at all although it is small and if the small store of wood kept near these rocks is consumed, it won't be lit again until that store is replenished. "Very well, I have lit the flames. What is it that you wish with the fire?"
"Sit." She tells me. Look into the flames and tell me what you see. I arch an eyebrow but do as indicated and seat myself, looking deeply into the fire. After a short while images begin to appear; a town or village busy with daily life. I see my family and some of my friends; the day is clear and they appear happy, just as it was when I left it earlier this morning. Heat waves ripple across it and the scene changes...another place, I don't know where, it is clear but it seems as a cloud is passing overhead for it grows darker as I watch. Something is there; a rain of dust of some sort it seems....every so often dust filters down onto everything and as it does so, the color leaches out of anything it touches. This is startling.
I look at her; "Is this what that shadow is? Some strange dust carrying storm? But what is it that causes it to leach color, or is that simply an indication that where this goes difficulty follows?
You have many questions but you have already seen, or already know the answers. But there is something that perhaps you have not yet awoken to; your village isn't taking its cue from the animals....
I blink as I absorb the gentle reprimand and the nudge all at once. I frown then and look back to the dying fire. Perhaps....I feed it just enough fuel to make it burn well for a few moments as I stare into it, seeking a particular image. When I have it, I try to impart a simple sense of unease; it will take me a good long time to return home and if this works it will save time. I have done this before but it is unreliable at the best of times...
I cannot tell if I got the idea through but I decide I can no longer wait. The pleasant day does not seem so pleasant now, even though I know the shadow, if that is what it is, that is coming here is still a good long way off. I nod to Mother Bear and and take up my staff, striding down the path...some things must be done correctly after all. Even in a hurry."
Then I woke up. That thing is so full of possibility its unreal. Some things seem to stand out but there is little of a hard nature to lock to. Perhaps that's the whole idea; there is nothing hard to lock on to. I don't know yet, I need to think about it.
Unusual dream; I haven't had one quite like this in a while.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I remember...
Standing on a high hill at dusk and watching the mists creep over the landscape of lakes, rivers and marshes below.
A lass with night-black hair and stormy grey eyes standing beside her lord in battle, blood spattered, wild with living.
A broken dream, destroyed by greed and betrayal...and a loss of vision.
A fortified wall in need of repair and the stolid determination of defenders already convinced they will die there.
Being aboard a ship at dawn in the midst of a fog, straining to see the shore...
Fighting desperately to win through attackers to aid my Captain...and failing; there were too many, but I remember the shame I felt before dying; I should have found a way.
A time when life was much less secure and living much harder, yet in many ways cleaner than it is today. Many such times in fact.
Dying in several ways, all violent.
Solid friends and companions I have known for centuries...and miss dearly in this one.
The smell of leather, iron, fear, sweat....and death.
The painfully close relationships with others, especially when they were lost.
A desert wind blowing through date palms...and the sun's warmth radiating from the stones around me.
A raging sea and sky with towering waves and forests of lightning splitting all asunder.
I remember...far too many things for my own good, I sometimes think. But I remember anyway.
A two-edged sword, is this kind of memory; one lifetime brings with it plenty of pain and joy, how much more then do the memories of other lives piled on top add to the intensity?
I am tired in a way I can't really describe.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
A lass with night-black hair and stormy grey eyes standing beside her lord in battle, blood spattered, wild with living.
A broken dream, destroyed by greed and betrayal...and a loss of vision.
A fortified wall in need of repair and the stolid determination of defenders already convinced they will die there.
Being aboard a ship at dawn in the midst of a fog, straining to see the shore...
Fighting desperately to win through attackers to aid my Captain...and failing; there were too many, but I remember the shame I felt before dying; I should have found a way.
A time when life was much less secure and living much harder, yet in many ways cleaner than it is today. Many such times in fact.
Dying in several ways, all violent.
Solid friends and companions I have known for centuries...and miss dearly in this one.
The smell of leather, iron, fear, sweat....and death.
The painfully close relationships with others, especially when they were lost.
A desert wind blowing through date palms...and the sun's warmth radiating from the stones around me.
A raging sea and sky with towering waves and forests of lightning splitting all asunder.
I remember...far too many things for my own good, I sometimes think. But I remember anyway.
A two-edged sword, is this kind of memory; one lifetime brings with it plenty of pain and joy, how much more then do the memories of other lives piled on top add to the intensity?
I am tired in a way I can't really describe.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Dreams, ships, and runes
This morning I drew Blackthorn, Aspen, and Heather; Strength in Adversity, Courage & Endurance, Dreams & Luck repsectively. The hallows card was Sword Five, a not particularly auspicious card, although the precise nature of the....incidents...it denotes are dependent on context to determine how.
I do these drawings pretty much daily and they are as much about keeping the characters clear in memory as they are actually divining anything since, generally speaking, I do not seek a particular answer to any particular question. The queries are general show me what you will sorts of things so reading them is anything but accurate...unless they start repeating frequently, which the Blackthorn has been doing lately. But not the rest, thank goodness.
More interesting to me was the reading I did in a dream last night; I used a set of runes I have never seen before. I can still see the symbols, I still know what they mean, but I have never seen a set like these before, anywhere. Am I to make them? Find them? Be gifted them? Are they just metaphors for something I already have or something else entirely? I don't know. LOL I wind up saying that far too often perhaps.
" I am aboard ship again; for a moment I wonder why I am so often on ships but that thought fades as I look out the cabin windows. Yes, this ship has a cabin of sorts. The ship is a weird sort of combination of xebec, longship, and schooner for those who have any idea, although the high-swept stem and stern remind me mostly of Elven ships. This one has a dragon carved on the stempost though; a Celtic style dragon. The sails are lateen rigged and it has jibs as well. While it has sweeps stored aboard, I know, they aren't used for propulsion except in extremis; this is a sailing vessel and not a warship, although she is not helpless. I know the dragon's head can spew liquid fire when needs be.
I'm enjoying the creak of the ships' timbers and the wash of water along her hull, as well as the groan of the rigging. The roll and sway of the vessel disturbs me not at all. I am sitting at a table in this small cabin; it is sparsely furnished having only three more chairs, a bunk built into the wall, and a sea chest that doubles as a bench. On the walls and over the table hang gimballed oil lamps. I know there is electricty aboard but that its use is strictly regulated.
On the table before me is a map; I have seen this layout before although this one focuses more on the sea and rivers than the land; a chart rather than a map. There are red 'x's scattered at various points along the shorelines, along with the occasional green triangle. I know the x's denote dangerous or possibly dangerous places while the green are indicative of good places to land or trade. The chart is not what concerns me, rather the book I have open on a campaign desk is the object of my interest. It is a journal; my own apparently and I'm sitting with a glass nib pen in hand. Near to hand is my pouch of ogham fews...no, wait, it's the runes....I've been casting them and recording the results. A moment of confusion ripples over me as I think that pouch is the one I have for ogham fews.... but it passes after a moment. I gaze at the runes on the chart and for a moment wonder what they mean...then I shiver and begin writing in my journal.
'A tipping point is near over which we do not wish to go. On the one hand is a more or less orderly if declining situation while on the other chaos reigns. It will take only a little thing, a few little things perhaps, to push us one way or the other. Insignificant they will be but not perceived as such; they will have an effect far greater than any reasonable being would ever dream of, these little things. Fallacious beliefs built on foundations of hubris and arrogance will be exposed for what they are, and shaken, those foundations will begin to collapse, shaking with them the beliefs that they have supported. People are not always reasoned and friendly in extremis; they are as often, if not more often, selfish and ruthless in the pursuit of ensuring their own and their families survival. Communities built with the best of intentions will have no defense when inside them rot is discovered; some join solely to provide a source of harvest in the face of trouble. Minds will be shaken, some shattered, confronted with a way of life they have never been prepared for; they will become both prey and predator.'
I shiver slightly as I write and frown softly, deciding this is sufficient for the moment. I need to think so I put away my things and take myself to the deck. The wind blows strongly and my hair streams out in front of me as I stand in the bow listening to the wash of the waves as the bow cuts through them. I'm dressed in white, although it is well decorated with colors; dress, overdress, robe...all are white; good linen and wool from home, which is where we are going. A flash of movement and I look down; dolphins are playing about the bows, a sight that makes me smile fondly.
In truth I am not thinking much of anything; I am simply enjoying the smell of land on the wind, the movements of wave and vessel, and the dolphins playing nearby. If anything I am thinking of home where my family awaits along with colleagues and friends. I am returning from a gathering of sorts and the news is not bad, which is very good." Continued... "I reflect on how one's perception of what is good or bad is in itself a reflection of the times one is living in and what has gone before. Some years earlier and the news I bring might be considered bad, but now, after all that has gone before, it can be considered not bad, if not precisely good. Neutral, is perhaps the better term; there is no sign of the strange crop plague this year but some things aren't growing as they ought to either. I glance at the dolphins again and sigh, then make my way back to the cabin.
I look at the runes on the table, frowning as I try to recall where I got them from. It bothers me that I cannot recall but I'm not sure why; certainly I like them and they work very well, but for some reason I can't seem to remember where I got them from. I shrug and seat myself again, perusing the entry in the journal; 'There's an understatement', I think as I read it. I think of all the things that have happened in recent years; the hunger, homelessness, disease, and hardships that have beset most people at one point or another. Not all of them in any one place, but most places have felt some of them combined.
Energy is a rare thing and treasured; no one would think now of wasting it and in some places it is a death sentence to do so. The seasons are so whacked out few can figure out what is going on any longer; we just try to hang on and get through this period of change. Pretty much everyone works at something, either on farms, ranches, or at some trade or other. I smile as the thought occurs to me that for the children, those who survive, things aren't so bad; they get a lot of exercise and their education is based on their interests and dealing with the environment. My own son has been my apprentice smith for some time now. Soon he will be a journeyman and able to stand on his own. He's also becoming a decent Druid.
I close my eyes for a moment, then close the journal; I will write no more today. I look at the runestones for a moment and then pick them up, examining them. They are stones in fact, with their symbols scratched or etched into them; some of them look more like heiroglyphs or pictographs than anything else. There's the one I know is the Heron, another is the Eye, a 'Delta' symbol and so on down the line. There are 28 of them all told. Shaking my head I put them back into their leather bag and tuck them away. I'll remember where they came from in time...perhaps."
Those symbols were interesting. I've done a quick jot down of them, but I want to do a better series of depictions. It is too early to tell yet but perhaps this will be an interesting new divination set.
I have to wonder why I am so often on ships in these dreams. Ships often denote travel, which is interesting since I don't travel much these days. They could indicate a journey of other sorts of course, but that will take some thought to sort out. It was a pretty ship, in an odd, jumbled sort of way, but pleasing esthetically...if you can believe that.
I have weird dreams.
May your day bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I do these drawings pretty much daily and they are as much about keeping the characters clear in memory as they are actually divining anything since, generally speaking, I do not seek a particular answer to any particular question. The queries are general show me what you will sorts of things so reading them is anything but accurate...unless they start repeating frequently, which the Blackthorn has been doing lately. But not the rest, thank goodness.
More interesting to me was the reading I did in a dream last night; I used a set of runes I have never seen before. I can still see the symbols, I still know what they mean, but I have never seen a set like these before, anywhere. Am I to make them? Find them? Be gifted them? Are they just metaphors for something I already have or something else entirely? I don't know. LOL I wind up saying that far too often perhaps.
" I am aboard ship again; for a moment I wonder why I am so often on ships but that thought fades as I look out the cabin windows. Yes, this ship has a cabin of sorts. The ship is a weird sort of combination of xebec, longship, and schooner for those who have any idea, although the high-swept stem and stern remind me mostly of Elven ships. This one has a dragon carved on the stempost though; a Celtic style dragon. The sails are lateen rigged and it has jibs as well. While it has sweeps stored aboard, I know, they aren't used for propulsion except in extremis; this is a sailing vessel and not a warship, although she is not helpless. I know the dragon's head can spew liquid fire when needs be.
I'm enjoying the creak of the ships' timbers and the wash of water along her hull, as well as the groan of the rigging. The roll and sway of the vessel disturbs me not at all. I am sitting at a table in this small cabin; it is sparsely furnished having only three more chairs, a bunk built into the wall, and a sea chest that doubles as a bench. On the walls and over the table hang gimballed oil lamps. I know there is electricty aboard but that its use is strictly regulated.
On the table before me is a map; I have seen this layout before although this one focuses more on the sea and rivers than the land; a chart rather than a map. There are red 'x's scattered at various points along the shorelines, along with the occasional green triangle. I know the x's denote dangerous or possibly dangerous places while the green are indicative of good places to land or trade. The chart is not what concerns me, rather the book I have open on a campaign desk is the object of my interest. It is a journal; my own apparently and I'm sitting with a glass nib pen in hand. Near to hand is my pouch of ogham fews...no, wait, it's the runes....I've been casting them and recording the results. A moment of confusion ripples over me as I think that pouch is the one I have for ogham fews.... but it passes after a moment. I gaze at the runes on the chart and for a moment wonder what they mean...then I shiver and begin writing in my journal.
'A tipping point is near over which we do not wish to go. On the one hand is a more or less orderly if declining situation while on the other chaos reigns. It will take only a little thing, a few little things perhaps, to push us one way or the other. Insignificant they will be but not perceived as such; they will have an effect far greater than any reasonable being would ever dream of, these little things. Fallacious beliefs built on foundations of hubris and arrogance will be exposed for what they are, and shaken, those foundations will begin to collapse, shaking with them the beliefs that they have supported. People are not always reasoned and friendly in extremis; they are as often, if not more often, selfish and ruthless in the pursuit of ensuring their own and their families survival. Communities built with the best of intentions will have no defense when inside them rot is discovered; some join solely to provide a source of harvest in the face of trouble. Minds will be shaken, some shattered, confronted with a way of life they have never been prepared for; they will become both prey and predator.'
I shiver slightly as I write and frown softly, deciding this is sufficient for the moment. I need to think so I put away my things and take myself to the deck. The wind blows strongly and my hair streams out in front of me as I stand in the bow listening to the wash of the waves as the bow cuts through them. I'm dressed in white, although it is well decorated with colors; dress, overdress, robe...all are white; good linen and wool from home, which is where we are going. A flash of movement and I look down; dolphins are playing about the bows, a sight that makes me smile fondly.
In truth I am not thinking much of anything; I am simply enjoying the smell of land on the wind, the movements of wave and vessel, and the dolphins playing nearby. If anything I am thinking of home where my family awaits along with colleagues and friends. I am returning from a gathering of sorts and the news is not bad, which is very good." Continued... "I reflect on how one's perception of what is good or bad is in itself a reflection of the times one is living in and what has gone before. Some years earlier and the news I bring might be considered bad, but now, after all that has gone before, it can be considered not bad, if not precisely good. Neutral, is perhaps the better term; there is no sign of the strange crop plague this year but some things aren't growing as they ought to either. I glance at the dolphins again and sigh, then make my way back to the cabin.
I look at the runes on the table, frowning as I try to recall where I got them from. It bothers me that I cannot recall but I'm not sure why; certainly I like them and they work very well, but for some reason I can't seem to remember where I got them from. I shrug and seat myself again, perusing the entry in the journal; 'There's an understatement', I think as I read it. I think of all the things that have happened in recent years; the hunger, homelessness, disease, and hardships that have beset most people at one point or another. Not all of them in any one place, but most places have felt some of them combined.
Energy is a rare thing and treasured; no one would think now of wasting it and in some places it is a death sentence to do so. The seasons are so whacked out few can figure out what is going on any longer; we just try to hang on and get through this period of change. Pretty much everyone works at something, either on farms, ranches, or at some trade or other. I smile as the thought occurs to me that for the children, those who survive, things aren't so bad; they get a lot of exercise and their education is based on their interests and dealing with the environment. My own son has been my apprentice smith for some time now. Soon he will be a journeyman and able to stand on his own. He's also becoming a decent Druid.
I close my eyes for a moment, then close the journal; I will write no more today. I look at the runestones for a moment and then pick them up, examining them. They are stones in fact, with their symbols scratched or etched into them; some of them look more like heiroglyphs or pictographs than anything else. There's the one I know is the Heron, another is the Eye, a 'Delta' symbol and so on down the line. There are 28 of them all told. Shaking my head I put them back into their leather bag and tuck them away. I'll remember where they came from in time...perhaps."
Those symbols were interesting. I've done a quick jot down of them, but I want to do a better series of depictions. It is too early to tell yet but perhaps this will be an interesting new divination set.
I have to wonder why I am so often on ships in these dreams. Ships often denote travel, which is interesting since I don't travel much these days. They could indicate a journey of other sorts of course, but that will take some thought to sort out. It was a pretty ship, in an odd, jumbled sort of way, but pleasing esthetically...if you can believe that.
I have weird dreams.
May your day bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Friday, November 28, 2008
Double duty
There has been, for many long years, the idea that items used for ritual or magic ought to be entirely reserved for that purpose. There is indeed a good reason to see things in this manner; the donning of ritual clothing, use of ritual gear, even breathing patterns can all signal the mind that it needs to shift its perception of things. This can also trigger certain trained reactions such as keeping the mind on focus while in meditation and so on.
I've seen it said that an athame should be used only for magical workings at the altar and nothing more. I was once a very large proponent of this notion, and it does have its place. But I think, these days, that it is far more useful for novices and those learning their way along, and of course for any that feel it works best for them. But I don't think it is or ought to be a universal notion.
Some folk, myself included, can meditate or shift perception simply by deciding to do so; we have become so used to the practices that what we are wearing or what we are using isn't absolutely necessary any longer. That doesn't mean we ought not to have certain ritual objects, only that we may not always need them; there can always be the time when we're having trouble and can use something to focus on or help remind us of how to get into the right mindset. I'm more inclined to this notion with tools although I can easily pull forth an image of whatever tool I might need in ritual to do what needs doing.
Clothing is something else. For some folk the act of donning robes or stripping helps them shift their mindset...this is most excellent and it works very well for beginners too. If keeping these pieces of clothing for this use and this one only works, that's fine. I, however, don't have the same attitude with certain exceptions.
Clothing in general doesn't help or hinder me when it comes to ritual mindset; these days I'm nearly always at least partially in that mindset anyway. As a result, I haven't any qualms working on clothing that can serve more than one purpose. In addition, not too far ahead we may find textiles far too precious to be dedicating to one thing although doing so when something is hard to come by can be a measure of devotion. I may well need to work in robes or garments that I also do everyday routines in, or even do reenacting in. We today have far more clothing per person than our ancestors did. O-o I have a good suspicion that most of them did pretty much everything in the same garments, with possibly a few exceptions like masks, fetishes, and perhaps or perhaps a special robe or something.
So the clothing I am making will serve multiple purposes and that suits me fine. When I need something to help anchor what I'm doing, I usually use an object; a stone I've empowered, a sickle, a medallion, or something similar. Some of these things I will use for that purpose and that one alone, but they were generally procured specifically for that purpose and so I don't have a need to use them elsewhere.
So it will be this Yuletide. I'm making a dalmatica to go with my tunica and probably a robe to go over it all if I have the time. I will at least have the Bard's blue cloak of the Gaulish sort at any rate. These are sixth century pieces of clothing...but they look just fine for regular Druid use as well, and I've never been shy about being out and about in my garb just because I find it more comfortable (and stylish) than modern clothing. I'll also have a pilius...a Pannonian hat, the which does nothing for sun shading the eyes but is wool so keeps the pate toasty. And the hood of the cloak goes easily over it. None of it will be displayed as I'll be wearing it all. LOL And it'll be seen again at the Solstice ritual.
I am likely to have my sickle in my belt and my staff as well. The belt will be a military belt...in a way symbolic. It will be appropriate to the sixth century and a basic green in color, the which is fitting for both an apprentice and an Adept, although if I were simply running around as an Adept at an Order function I'd have a green *cord* on. Technically speaking.
More troubling, from a certain point of view, is the thought of getting a 'Druid's Tonsure' that's been popping into my head of late. LOL I'm weird enough to do it if the push gets strong enough.
I may have Cerdd Foreal with me as well, possibly the game latrunculi or gwyddbwyll, either of which is appropriate to the sixth century and even earlier. Since I have no intention of being anywhere near Court I'll need something to occupy me and these are probably those. ;)
I intend to enjoy myself doing what I like and wish to do while others go about their own fun. Shouldn't be a terribly difficult thing to do. The Gods know there's plenty of entertainment scheduled. I will not be fighting, however, not now. Give me six months and we'll have another look. *feral grin*
Off to make a nice Late Roman dress.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Hedge Druid with a stick.
I've seen it said that an athame should be used only for magical workings at the altar and nothing more. I was once a very large proponent of this notion, and it does have its place. But I think, these days, that it is far more useful for novices and those learning their way along, and of course for any that feel it works best for them. But I don't think it is or ought to be a universal notion.
Some folk, myself included, can meditate or shift perception simply by deciding to do so; we have become so used to the practices that what we are wearing or what we are using isn't absolutely necessary any longer. That doesn't mean we ought not to have certain ritual objects, only that we may not always need them; there can always be the time when we're having trouble and can use something to focus on or help remind us of how to get into the right mindset. I'm more inclined to this notion with tools although I can easily pull forth an image of whatever tool I might need in ritual to do what needs doing.
Clothing is something else. For some folk the act of donning robes or stripping helps them shift their mindset...this is most excellent and it works very well for beginners too. If keeping these pieces of clothing for this use and this one only works, that's fine. I, however, don't have the same attitude with certain exceptions.
Clothing in general doesn't help or hinder me when it comes to ritual mindset; these days I'm nearly always at least partially in that mindset anyway. As a result, I haven't any qualms working on clothing that can serve more than one purpose. In addition, not too far ahead we may find textiles far too precious to be dedicating to one thing although doing so when something is hard to come by can be a measure of devotion. I may well need to work in robes or garments that I also do everyday routines in, or even do reenacting in. We today have far more clothing per person than our ancestors did. O-o I have a good suspicion that most of them did pretty much everything in the same garments, with possibly a few exceptions like masks, fetishes, and perhaps or perhaps a special robe or something.
So the clothing I am making will serve multiple purposes and that suits me fine. When I need something to help anchor what I'm doing, I usually use an object; a stone I've empowered, a sickle, a medallion, or something similar. Some of these things I will use for that purpose and that one alone, but they were generally procured specifically for that purpose and so I don't have a need to use them elsewhere.
So it will be this Yuletide. I'm making a dalmatica to go with my tunica and probably a robe to go over it all if I have the time. I will at least have the Bard's blue cloak of the Gaulish sort at any rate. These are sixth century pieces of clothing...but they look just fine for regular Druid use as well, and I've never been shy about being out and about in my garb just because I find it more comfortable (and stylish) than modern clothing. I'll also have a pilius...a Pannonian hat, the which does nothing for sun shading the eyes but is wool so keeps the pate toasty. And the hood of the cloak goes easily over it. None of it will be displayed as I'll be wearing it all. LOL And it'll be seen again at the Solstice ritual.
I am likely to have my sickle in my belt and my staff as well. The belt will be a military belt...in a way symbolic. It will be appropriate to the sixth century and a basic green in color, the which is fitting for both an apprentice and an Adept, although if I were simply running around as an Adept at an Order function I'd have a green *cord* on. Technically speaking.
More troubling, from a certain point of view, is the thought of getting a 'Druid's Tonsure' that's been popping into my head of late. LOL I'm weird enough to do it if the push gets strong enough.
I may have Cerdd Foreal with me as well, possibly the game latrunculi or gwyddbwyll, either of which is appropriate to the sixth century and even earlier. Since I have no intention of being anywhere near Court I'll need something to occupy me and these are probably those. ;)
I intend to enjoy myself doing what I like and wish to do while others go about their own fun. Shouldn't be a terribly difficult thing to do. The Gods know there's plenty of entertainment scheduled. I will not be fighting, however, not now. Give me six months and we'll have another look. *feral grin*
Off to make a nice Late Roman dress.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Hedge Druid with a stick.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Temple thoughts
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the Temple of late, bearing in mind I don't know if I will actually build it or simply cause it to be built. Yet. LOL Assuming, however, that I build it, this is what I'm thinking.
Firstly, 'building' it doesn't necessarily mean a structure designated as a temple. It can simply refer to the creation of a place this organized like a temple or simply the setting in place of the underpinnings from which such a thing could be built. This is mostly what I'm doing just now, although it would be a lie if I said I haven't thought of its possible physical incarnation.
The Temple I'm considering is a place of study, with a focus on the arts martial but by no means exclusive to those. For one thing the study of Druidry would be an absolute must as would the learning of various non-combat related art forms. There would be shrines to various deities scattered about, places to sit and meditate, well-maintained pathways to walk that would encourage moving meditation, a stone circle if I could manage one, an actual grove naturally, and training facilities. All in addition to living accommodations eh? Not asking much am I? But in truth this can all be done in a surprisingly small area so I don't need (though I'd like) huge tracts of land. ;)
Such a place would have music, martial endeavors, gardening, quiet learning, and a general peaceful mien woven into whatever surrounding situations were present. I can't actually plan that part of it since I haven't a clue what conditions will be like at that time. Best I can do is prepare for the worst all the while hoping to get something reasonable and being wildly elated if the best happens. :)
It would have the arts martial as its primary focus though, but not necessarily in the way people would think at first glance. In this respect it would be similar to some of the Chinese temples although it would be a general similarity. It would also bear resemblances to some European style monasteries in its portions concerning the accumulation and recording of knowledge. A mixture of what I think might work really; a mutt. *grins*
It would be very small to start, perhaps permanently so. But size doesn't matter here anyway. Function does, though, and that can be achieved simply by the idea creating other ideas of similar bent.
Not going into specifics, am I? No, I'm not, and I won't be for some time yet.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Hedge Druid (with a stick!)
Firstly, 'building' it doesn't necessarily mean a structure designated as a temple. It can simply refer to the creation of a place this organized like a temple or simply the setting in place of the underpinnings from which such a thing could be built. This is mostly what I'm doing just now, although it would be a lie if I said I haven't thought of its possible physical incarnation.
The Temple I'm considering is a place of study, with a focus on the arts martial but by no means exclusive to those. For one thing the study of Druidry would be an absolute must as would the learning of various non-combat related art forms. There would be shrines to various deities scattered about, places to sit and meditate, well-maintained pathways to walk that would encourage moving meditation, a stone circle if I could manage one, an actual grove naturally, and training facilities. All in addition to living accommodations eh? Not asking much am I? But in truth this can all be done in a surprisingly small area so I don't need (though I'd like) huge tracts of land. ;)
Such a place would have music, martial endeavors, gardening, quiet learning, and a general peaceful mien woven into whatever surrounding situations were present. I can't actually plan that part of it since I haven't a clue what conditions will be like at that time. Best I can do is prepare for the worst all the while hoping to get something reasonable and being wildly elated if the best happens. :)
It would have the arts martial as its primary focus though, but not necessarily in the way people would think at first glance. In this respect it would be similar to some of the Chinese temples although it would be a general similarity. It would also bear resemblances to some European style monasteries in its portions concerning the accumulation and recording of knowledge. A mixture of what I think might work really; a mutt. *grins*
It would be very small to start, perhaps permanently so. But size doesn't matter here anyway. Function does, though, and that can be achieved simply by the idea creating other ideas of similar bent.
Not going into specifics, am I? No, I'm not, and I won't be for some time yet.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Hedge Druid (with a stick!)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Crossroads
I have had the sense of late, that the path I am walking is beginning to diverge from that most others around me are walking. This is not a bad thing, nor is it particularly surprising; few things about this journey surprise me any longer. Is that the accumulation of wisdom or am I simply jaded? I can't answer that at the moment.
I am not changing the things I do; I remain a member of my Orders, I perform my duties and I enjoy them immensely. It is in the performance of those duties and the following of my path that is bringing about the divergence I think.
I feel...more distant these days, if that's the way to describe it. As if my goals and the path laid before me are turning, leading me in a direction different from the one others I know are taking. It is hard to articulate in many ways. I feel like I am marking time in a curious way, watching others fade into the distance as they walk their paths together.
I know that once all of that is set I will wander for a time, as I ever have. Restless forever I am, and once my family is grown or gone there will be nothing to hold me in any one place in any event. In many ways the Otherworld has become more solid and real than this material one; certainly I learn a great deal more there than I do here now, and at least there I can find moments of peace, glimpses of laughter, and the promise of something less disappointing than what I see around me all too often these days.
I study and I visit other places, I play music and read books and the works of others, and I observe, all the time I observe. I have always been unlike those around me, separated from others by some intangible wall that I could always clearly feel. Always someone outside looking in, and at one time I wanted in, wanted to be a part....and now...now it matters little if at all. I am who I am and who I was meant to be, or becoming so. The tasks set for me are enough to keep me busy until the day comes that I may walk the Path of Swords and rest for a bit, if not terribly long.
I shall remain unremembered, as I have in each lifetime before, and this does not bother me; the concept of a legacy is one of pride and that isn't something I cultivate in myself, even if I cannot expunge it entirely.
Soon I will stand at a crossroads once again. I think the direction I choose will have less to do with my own choice and more to do with that of Others.
Isn't the path of Life a fascinating thing? There is no knowing where it will take you and the way is filled with so much to learn and to see. I have had a good life; I have packed far more living into it than others my age and younger. What an amazing thing.
It will be interesting to see where these paths take me. One foot in front of the other and steady on you know. Growing older turns me on in a way most folk would find very strange.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I am not changing the things I do; I remain a member of my Orders, I perform my duties and I enjoy them immensely. It is in the performance of those duties and the following of my path that is bringing about the divergence I think.
I feel...more distant these days, if that's the way to describe it. As if my goals and the path laid before me are turning, leading me in a direction different from the one others I know are taking. It is hard to articulate in many ways. I feel like I am marking time in a curious way, watching others fade into the distance as they walk their paths together.
I know that once all of that is set I will wander for a time, as I ever have. Restless forever I am, and once my family is grown or gone there will be nothing to hold me in any one place in any event. In many ways the Otherworld has become more solid and real than this material one; certainly I learn a great deal more there than I do here now, and at least there I can find moments of peace, glimpses of laughter, and the promise of something less disappointing than what I see around me all too often these days.
I study and I visit other places, I play music and read books and the works of others, and I observe, all the time I observe. I have always been unlike those around me, separated from others by some intangible wall that I could always clearly feel. Always someone outside looking in, and at one time I wanted in, wanted to be a part....and now...now it matters little if at all. I am who I am and who I was meant to be, or becoming so. The tasks set for me are enough to keep me busy until the day comes that I may walk the Path of Swords and rest for a bit, if not terribly long.
I shall remain unremembered, as I have in each lifetime before, and this does not bother me; the concept of a legacy is one of pride and that isn't something I cultivate in myself, even if I cannot expunge it entirely.
Soon I will stand at a crossroads once again. I think the direction I choose will have less to do with my own choice and more to do with that of Others.
Isn't the path of Life a fascinating thing? There is no knowing where it will take you and the way is filled with so much to learn and to see. I have had a good life; I have packed far more living into it than others my age and younger. What an amazing thing.
It will be interesting to see where these paths take me. One foot in front of the other and steady on you know. Growing older turns me on in a way most folk would find very strange.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Where I am
Funny but familiar places. Short answer.
I've been intensely involved in revamping my activities and foci these last several weeks, triggered in part by martial arts training and in part by the completion of certain deep inner changes, though not all of them are done and settling into my duties hasn't hurt any.
So what does my current day look like? Bearing in mind it isn't and won't ever be completely finalized, it looks something like this;
I awaken about the time Jen does in the morning, perform morning ritual, brew our coffee and get things like email checked, get dressed, and eat breakfast.
Sometime after Jen departs for work I awaken Tali and get him sorted for school then put on my face and finish various small tasks.
Usually after this I go for a walk, though not always nowadays since the training tires me a lot and the walk compounds that. It will improve as my condition improves.
Next is meditation time, usually about an hour though sometimes less. After that I work on music theory and composition, practice, or poetry, or sometimes read. LOL Then it gets on to lunch.
After lunch is puttering time around here, or more music time. Often now I'll go through forms as well to loosen myself up.
Pick up Tali, get ready for classes and so on.
Interspersed throughout all of this are readings for people, sometimes calls to go do something for someone in my capacity as Priestess, often job applications (this has become almost automatic at this point), and finally the occasional bit of personal project work.
Some people would say I am fortunate for this sort of schedule and in some ways I surely am. In other ways I am most decidedly not. For one thing I *like* to work. I want to work. I do not like staying home despite the things I get done or get to do as some might see it. So far though circumstance has dictated that I do stay home, and in one sense this is good; for Tali. We don't pay for childcare and Tali gets time with his parents every day.
The Temple is waiting down the road a bit. I have seen its ghostly form in my dreams and sometimes in the flames of my candles.
I spend a fair bit of time in the City of Smiths, and other time at the Bard's Keep. Martial Arts flows into the Great Song which is always playing softly in my ears and which I always, if thus far without a lot of success, try to capture with my own instruments. Everything ties into that Great Music and these days I hear it so clearly and sweetly if I just pause to listen a moment.
I was once part of an acoustic band...if I could be said to miss something it is that. I know many people who play music, none of whom is interested in the types of music I am or are not near enough to matter. I am not a player of 'high class' music being more partial to 'common' music, a rougher sort of music for everyday people. In the SCA we play at being nobles but I am no noble; never was there a more common person in heart and soul. And I don't aspire to nobility; a horrid flaw to a lot of people I know, but I like feeling the earth between my toes and fingers and living simply. I lost sight of that for a time but no longer.
I spend a lot of time with Cerdd Voreal these days, sheltering in her sweet voice and protecting myself in the places she takes me to; I am a very lonely person in many ways and that is a sort of loneliness that can't be cured, being caused by the loss of those closest to me, those to whom I could speak to of anything, literally, without worry, those whose welfare I placed far ahead of my own and who in turn did the same for me. They are all gone now and as the years pass their empty places become harder to shrug aside. So I go elsewhere for a bit of relief, where I can find others who want to play music with me and don't mind my lack of polish.
I do not make friends easily; it hurts far too much when I lose them now and I do not trust easily either. Certainly I have no friends as close to me as those who have passed on. I never will. People now are different than they were and the fires that forged those past friendships are put out.
Funny, the paths that life wanders. Still, I have a decent life; a wife whom I love and who loves me, sons I am proud of and love, the warm memories of friends of a type few people experience and in unusual numbers at that. So I really cannot complain. Except of course being human I can. And do at times. ;) I am, however, very much aware of my blessings.
And mindful of those blessings I welcome Turkey Day with a great deal to be thankful for.
Perhaps we shall meet someday, wandering the dusty roads of life in other incarnations. For I shall return once I leave here, and I do not think the rest will be a long one; there is much to be done after all. And the world needs Druids, even if it doesn't think so. ;) Especially cantankerous ones.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Wandering Hedge Druid (with a stick!)
I've been intensely involved in revamping my activities and foci these last several weeks, triggered in part by martial arts training and in part by the completion of certain deep inner changes, though not all of them are done and settling into my duties hasn't hurt any.
So what does my current day look like? Bearing in mind it isn't and won't ever be completely finalized, it looks something like this;
I awaken about the time Jen does in the morning, perform morning ritual, brew our coffee and get things like email checked, get dressed, and eat breakfast.
Sometime after Jen departs for work I awaken Tali and get him sorted for school then put on my face and finish various small tasks.
Usually after this I go for a walk, though not always nowadays since the training tires me a lot and the walk compounds that. It will improve as my condition improves.
Next is meditation time, usually about an hour though sometimes less. After that I work on music theory and composition, practice, or poetry, or sometimes read. LOL Then it gets on to lunch.
After lunch is puttering time around here, or more music time. Often now I'll go through forms as well to loosen myself up.
Pick up Tali, get ready for classes and so on.
Interspersed throughout all of this are readings for people, sometimes calls to go do something for someone in my capacity as Priestess, often job applications (this has become almost automatic at this point), and finally the occasional bit of personal project work.
Some people would say I am fortunate for this sort of schedule and in some ways I surely am. In other ways I am most decidedly not. For one thing I *like* to work. I want to work. I do not like staying home despite the things I get done or get to do as some might see it. So far though circumstance has dictated that I do stay home, and in one sense this is good; for Tali. We don't pay for childcare and Tali gets time with his parents every day.
The Temple is waiting down the road a bit. I have seen its ghostly form in my dreams and sometimes in the flames of my candles.
I spend a fair bit of time in the City of Smiths, and other time at the Bard's Keep. Martial Arts flows into the Great Song which is always playing softly in my ears and which I always, if thus far without a lot of success, try to capture with my own instruments. Everything ties into that Great Music and these days I hear it so clearly and sweetly if I just pause to listen a moment.
I was once part of an acoustic band...if I could be said to miss something it is that. I know many people who play music, none of whom is interested in the types of music I am or are not near enough to matter. I am not a player of 'high class' music being more partial to 'common' music, a rougher sort of music for everyday people. In the SCA we play at being nobles but I am no noble; never was there a more common person in heart and soul. And I don't aspire to nobility; a horrid flaw to a lot of people I know, but I like feeling the earth between my toes and fingers and living simply. I lost sight of that for a time but no longer.
I spend a lot of time with Cerdd Voreal these days, sheltering in her sweet voice and protecting myself in the places she takes me to; I am a very lonely person in many ways and that is a sort of loneliness that can't be cured, being caused by the loss of those closest to me, those to whom I could speak to of anything, literally, without worry, those whose welfare I placed far ahead of my own and who in turn did the same for me. They are all gone now and as the years pass their empty places become harder to shrug aside. So I go elsewhere for a bit of relief, where I can find others who want to play music with me and don't mind my lack of polish.
I do not make friends easily; it hurts far too much when I lose them now and I do not trust easily either. Certainly I have no friends as close to me as those who have passed on. I never will. People now are different than they were and the fires that forged those past friendships are put out.
Funny, the paths that life wanders. Still, I have a decent life; a wife whom I love and who loves me, sons I am proud of and love, the warm memories of friends of a type few people experience and in unusual numbers at that. So I really cannot complain. Except of course being human I can. And do at times. ;) I am, however, very much aware of my blessings.
And mindful of those blessings I welcome Turkey Day with a great deal to be thankful for.
Perhaps we shall meet someday, wandering the dusty roads of life in other incarnations. For I shall return once I leave here, and I do not think the rest will be a long one; there is much to be done after all. And the world needs Druids, even if it doesn't think so. ;) Especially cantankerous ones.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Wandering Hedge Druid (with a stick!)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Musing
And the great contraction-collapse is well under way now, all over the world even. It is morbidly fascinating in many ways. I'm not going to offer witty ideas for weathering it since, to be absolutely honest, I haven't the faintest notion of how one ought to weather this. I did my disaster preparedness and encouraged others for a time. Now it is done and all I can do is stay the course and take each thing as it comes; perhaps therein lies the answer.
We spent all of the spare time we had being greedy and blind so here we are with the butcher's bill to pay and no idea how we're to do it. At the very least things won't be boring although they may get ugly.
Still no real comments from the incoming administration on how it plans to deal with the real tasks that lie before it. I don't really expect there will be; about the best they can hope for is to perhaps put a smiley face on some things here and there. I meant it when I said I felt sorry for whomever won the election. There is no way out of a forced reduction in standard of living or massive and intrinsic changes to our society....we aren't ready to admit that at the moment, which is exacerbating the problem, but it won't be long before we no longer have any illusions left.
What am I doing? Staying the course. Getting into far better condition and learning a new discipline at the same time. Penance for my own part in this grand mess I should say, at least to an extent. But useful nonetheless.
Planning the Temple so that when I can actually build the physical portion the rest will be well planned out. I know the basic outfit will be brown; the color is considered non-threatening by most, is rather neutral, blends into the natural background well and implies a certain rustic if not simplistic state, all things it would be well to cultivate. It is also easy to make dyes for and is fair at masking soiled portions between cleanings. ;) It is also a good color for Druids. So what if some people associate it with excrement? If that is the immediate association someone makes I'd be concerned about their state of mind; too damned mired in modern cultural nonsense to my way of thinking.
Being a Priestess and working at all that comes with it...there's an increasing need these days. My days are very busy indeed.
Cutting away things I have no use or need for any longer; I can only support a few things now and they'd best count solidly; anything that doesn't gets dropped in jig time.
We'll be attending Yule this year...it may be the last such event we attend; only time will tell. There is no way to know how things will shake out for next year beyond this one; travel will be voluntarily (if not forcibly) limited so things that really matter and make a real difference in the task of getting through all of this will take absolute priority. Fun will be inserted where we may, but even then we won't go far afield.
There's the hope of a home of our own next year. Faint perhaps, but there nonetheless. Failing that we may be able to rent come February; we shall see.
May the Gods grant blessings in equal measure to merit, and perhaps a bit more besides.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
We spent all of the spare time we had being greedy and blind so here we are with the butcher's bill to pay and no idea how we're to do it. At the very least things won't be boring although they may get ugly.
Still no real comments from the incoming administration on how it plans to deal with the real tasks that lie before it. I don't really expect there will be; about the best they can hope for is to perhaps put a smiley face on some things here and there. I meant it when I said I felt sorry for whomever won the election. There is no way out of a forced reduction in standard of living or massive and intrinsic changes to our society....we aren't ready to admit that at the moment, which is exacerbating the problem, but it won't be long before we no longer have any illusions left.
What am I doing? Staying the course. Getting into far better condition and learning a new discipline at the same time. Penance for my own part in this grand mess I should say, at least to an extent. But useful nonetheless.
Planning the Temple so that when I can actually build the physical portion the rest will be well planned out. I know the basic outfit will be brown; the color is considered non-threatening by most, is rather neutral, blends into the natural background well and implies a certain rustic if not simplistic state, all things it would be well to cultivate. It is also easy to make dyes for and is fair at masking soiled portions between cleanings. ;) It is also a good color for Druids. So what if some people associate it with excrement? If that is the immediate association someone makes I'd be concerned about their state of mind; too damned mired in modern cultural nonsense to my way of thinking.
Being a Priestess and working at all that comes with it...there's an increasing need these days. My days are very busy indeed.
Cutting away things I have no use or need for any longer; I can only support a few things now and they'd best count solidly; anything that doesn't gets dropped in jig time.
We'll be attending Yule this year...it may be the last such event we attend; only time will tell. There is no way to know how things will shake out for next year beyond this one; travel will be voluntarily (if not forcibly) limited so things that really matter and make a real difference in the task of getting through all of this will take absolute priority. Fun will be inserted where we may, but even then we won't go far afield.
There's the hope of a home of our own next year. Faint perhaps, but there nonetheless. Failing that we may be able to rent come February; we shall see.
May the Gods grant blessings in equal measure to merit, and perhaps a bit more besides.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Reflections
I started gung fu training for the health benefits that derive from it, and added taijiquan to the mix for the meditative and healthful aspects. I must admit, however, that a part of me takes a savage delight in learning yet another combat method, and the ease with which I absorb it. The body is still adapting and strengthening, but it is doing so steadily and I don't expect to have any physical problems of serious nature.
I can feel the taughtness of the musculature....and the soreness of long-unused muscles and once injured areas as they adapt. *laughs softly* There is always a price. Yet I have also lost several pounds and even lost a size in my clothing...plus a bit. And that's in about two weeks. At this rate, or even a bit less, I could lose between 40 and 60 pounds in six months, and that's not taking the walking I have been doing, nor the running I've been adding in here and there. Nor the doing of form drills and weapon drills here at home. My activity levels have skyrocketed and I find this delightful. I had forgotten how good such activity made me feel.
I am likely to test for the white sash in January, assuming all goes as it appears it will. I'm not in this for the ranks but testing is mandatory for students so I'm kind of stuck with it. I love the staff work, and the emphasis with our training is the Southern Temple styles, which are, or were, more aggressive apparently.
My biggest challenge is spotting instinctive responses to stimuli and halting them before they manifest; to learn I need to be an empty cup. To be safe I need to be in control. So many things have become almost instinctive that I no longer know where they came from; they just blend to make a smooth whole that is me. I can't integrate the newer material unless I can learn it properly first. Only then can I understand it enough to meld it appropriately with what already exists...and create something new.
*****
I have been around the world four times. I have visited every continent but two and one of those I have no desire to visit (and really, it hasn't anything to do with the Mountains of Madness, honest). I have spent a lot of time in various cultures and learned much from them. Always I have noted that at base the people of any culture want more or less the same things; safety, food, healthy children and so on. We aren't so different as our political systems and social structures want us to believe. As I have said before, our social constructs are meant to control, something they do distressingly well even today.
I took German in high school...I'm thinking I might take it up again; I like the language and I like the German people. Recently I found out I have some German ancestry and that's always intriguing...apparently one of my ancestors was a clock maker. That's interesting. :) I love grandfather clocks and the 'cuckoo' clocks from that region. I wish I had one. Not electric mind, but counterweighted or key wound...or both. :) I can still understand a lot of what I hear in German, although I am not currently able to converse with it.
I suppose I could study Thai as well; at one time I could speak it fluently but had only begun to sort out reading and writing just before I left there. I can no longer converse in this language either, beyond very simple levels, through having no one to talk to.
I like building models, most especially tank models and in particular those of WWII Germany. To the extent that I even convert my Warhammer 40K vehicles to resemble these tanks, though I am careful to use parts from the manufacturer's kits at least 50% of each build as that's minimum should I ever enter a tournament.
I love Roleplaying Games....but I have no one to play with these days. It is funny, sometimes, how you can have a close family and yet have such wildly different interests as well. Healthy, I think, on the whole. Jen has found bellydancing again and I am most pleased; she's developing some good friendships I think and that's awesome. I'm doing things martial which is useful, pleasing, and in fact, necessary...but I still miss gaming. Perhaps when I lose enough weight I'll take up ATS or Persian. *chuckles* Tali is a computer game nut, the which do not appeal to me in the slightest. We all do the SCA from time to time, but it is not the serious focus it once was and certainly not like it is to most others we know.
*****
So the election is over at last, thank goodness! Yet we have a President elect who is still a growth economy man, although he intends to do this with 'green' tech....the which is unlikely to work. He will try. I do not think he will do what really needs doing. I do not think the American people will allow it even if he finds the balls to have a go. The man is already talking about 8 years, so he's already looking ahead to the next election...the old saying is that all any administration wants is another four years. That's very sad...it does, however, indicate that nothing that might risk that will be undertaken...and the things that really need saying and doing require taking huge risks.
*****
I dream about 6 out of 7 nights a week now. I haven't been posting them since some of them are not meant to be shared, some concern the Temple and I don't fully understand them, and the rest tend to be unpleasant in one form or another. Since I am tired of taking flak for being gloomy or depressing I have simply ceased to post them; being a Seer isn't a sugary path as so many would have it. If the things you see aren't pleasing to people you'll find things get annoying swiftly. Our culture has gotten so steeped in the idea that negative or depressing things oughtn't bother us that we reject them....even when they are real enough and need looking at. Too many times I've heard the yelp and exclamation that such and such is too negative, we don't want to deal with it. Let's do something fun! Well, sometimes the negative is so bad because it keeps getting shunted aside for the fun and someone trying to turn it into something positive. I often think our people really have trained themselves out of being able to deal with truly ugly things.
*****
Either we are all equal or none of us are. If something gives secular rights under a nation's laws then it must give them to all people or that something must stop giving such rights. Marriage is a good example; it bestows a huge load of secular rights and benefits on those who undergo the ceremony. But our society wants to 'defend' this from people who want to marry...but aren't like them...they love differently. So, if marriage is to be defended by denying its benefits to some and not others, those benefits and rights ought to be removed from the ceremony entirely....so that it does nothing for anyone. Hmmm, can't have that now can we...but we can sure try to create second class citizens eh? Give the benefits to everyone regardless of who they love and let the various religions decide whether they want to add to it all by blessing things; they can do so for their own flocks or no as they like; the nuts and bolts that give the rights ought to be secular in any case. They do not, however, have the right to formulate one rule (their own naturally) that everyone else must follow whether they are of that flock or not. Damned social structures anyway; as I say, they are control devices and nothing much more.
*****
I'm disliking people more than usual of late; the amount of effort going into trying to avoid what is coming rather than face it head on and deal with it just aggravates me beyond measure. Fear is ruling...and when Fear rules and Want runs rampant, strange characters come out of the woodwork.
May the Gods grant you blessings in equal measure to your merit.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I can feel the taughtness of the musculature....and the soreness of long-unused muscles and once injured areas as they adapt. *laughs softly* There is always a price. Yet I have also lost several pounds and even lost a size in my clothing...plus a bit. And that's in about two weeks. At this rate, or even a bit less, I could lose between 40 and 60 pounds in six months, and that's not taking the walking I have been doing, nor the running I've been adding in here and there. Nor the doing of form drills and weapon drills here at home. My activity levels have skyrocketed and I find this delightful. I had forgotten how good such activity made me feel.
I am likely to test for the white sash in January, assuming all goes as it appears it will. I'm not in this for the ranks but testing is mandatory for students so I'm kind of stuck with it. I love the staff work, and the emphasis with our training is the Southern Temple styles, which are, or were, more aggressive apparently.
My biggest challenge is spotting instinctive responses to stimuli and halting them before they manifest; to learn I need to be an empty cup. To be safe I need to be in control. So many things have become almost instinctive that I no longer know where they came from; they just blend to make a smooth whole that is me. I can't integrate the newer material unless I can learn it properly first. Only then can I understand it enough to meld it appropriately with what already exists...and create something new.
*****
I have been around the world four times. I have visited every continent but two and one of those I have no desire to visit (and really, it hasn't anything to do with the Mountains of Madness, honest). I have spent a lot of time in various cultures and learned much from them. Always I have noted that at base the people of any culture want more or less the same things; safety, food, healthy children and so on. We aren't so different as our political systems and social structures want us to believe. As I have said before, our social constructs are meant to control, something they do distressingly well even today.
I took German in high school...I'm thinking I might take it up again; I like the language and I like the German people. Recently I found out I have some German ancestry and that's always intriguing...apparently one of my ancestors was a clock maker. That's interesting. :) I love grandfather clocks and the 'cuckoo' clocks from that region. I wish I had one. Not electric mind, but counterweighted or key wound...or both. :) I can still understand a lot of what I hear in German, although I am not currently able to converse with it.
I suppose I could study Thai as well; at one time I could speak it fluently but had only begun to sort out reading and writing just before I left there. I can no longer converse in this language either, beyond very simple levels, through having no one to talk to.
I like building models, most especially tank models and in particular those of WWII Germany. To the extent that I even convert my Warhammer 40K vehicles to resemble these tanks, though I am careful to use parts from the manufacturer's kits at least 50% of each build as that's minimum should I ever enter a tournament.
I love Roleplaying Games....but I have no one to play with these days. It is funny, sometimes, how you can have a close family and yet have such wildly different interests as well. Healthy, I think, on the whole. Jen has found bellydancing again and I am most pleased; she's developing some good friendships I think and that's awesome. I'm doing things martial which is useful, pleasing, and in fact, necessary...but I still miss gaming. Perhaps when I lose enough weight I'll take up ATS or Persian. *chuckles* Tali is a computer game nut, the which do not appeal to me in the slightest. We all do the SCA from time to time, but it is not the serious focus it once was and certainly not like it is to most others we know.
*****
So the election is over at last, thank goodness! Yet we have a President elect who is still a growth economy man, although he intends to do this with 'green' tech....the which is unlikely to work. He will try. I do not think he will do what really needs doing. I do not think the American people will allow it even if he finds the balls to have a go. The man is already talking about 8 years, so he's already looking ahead to the next election...the old saying is that all any administration wants is another four years. That's very sad...it does, however, indicate that nothing that might risk that will be undertaken...and the things that really need saying and doing require taking huge risks.
*****
I dream about 6 out of 7 nights a week now. I haven't been posting them since some of them are not meant to be shared, some concern the Temple and I don't fully understand them, and the rest tend to be unpleasant in one form or another. Since I am tired of taking flak for being gloomy or depressing I have simply ceased to post them; being a Seer isn't a sugary path as so many would have it. If the things you see aren't pleasing to people you'll find things get annoying swiftly. Our culture has gotten so steeped in the idea that negative or depressing things oughtn't bother us that we reject them....even when they are real enough and need looking at. Too many times I've heard the yelp and exclamation that such and such is too negative, we don't want to deal with it. Let's do something fun! Well, sometimes the negative is so bad because it keeps getting shunted aside for the fun and someone trying to turn it into something positive. I often think our people really have trained themselves out of being able to deal with truly ugly things.
*****
Either we are all equal or none of us are. If something gives secular rights under a nation's laws then it must give them to all people or that something must stop giving such rights. Marriage is a good example; it bestows a huge load of secular rights and benefits on those who undergo the ceremony. But our society wants to 'defend' this from people who want to marry...but aren't like them...they love differently. So, if marriage is to be defended by denying its benefits to some and not others, those benefits and rights ought to be removed from the ceremony entirely....so that it does nothing for anyone. Hmmm, can't have that now can we...but we can sure try to create second class citizens eh? Give the benefits to everyone regardless of who they love and let the various religions decide whether they want to add to it all by blessing things; they can do so for their own flocks or no as they like; the nuts and bolts that give the rights ought to be secular in any case. They do not, however, have the right to formulate one rule (their own naturally) that everyone else must follow whether they are of that flock or not. Damned social structures anyway; as I say, they are control devices and nothing much more.
*****
I'm disliking people more than usual of late; the amount of effort going into trying to avoid what is coming rather than face it head on and deal with it just aggravates me beyond measure. Fear is ruling...and when Fear rules and Want runs rampant, strange characters come out of the woodwork.
May the Gods grant you blessings in equal measure to your merit.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Martial Druidry
Modern Druidry tends to concentrate heavily if not exclusively on peacemaking. This is a laudable focus in many ways, but its achievment depends on understanding why people fight. The old adage of 'If thou wouldst have peace, be thou then prepared for war.' is pretty good although arguments can be, and have been, made against it. However, I think no argument can truly be made if we modify that to something like 'If thou wouldst have peace, then understand war.', in the sense that one tries to understand what motivates people to fight. Montesque said 'War is not a rational act.' and in this he is both correct and incorrect; it isn't always rational. Sometimes it is merely necessary. How do we explain someone who, surrounded, outnumbered, far from home, spits on their hands and hefts the pike for one last go round instead of giving up? But it does happen.
I don't think anyone can absolutely understand war; it will always be an imperfect set of ideas and theories. I do, however, think that continuously trying has great merit.
One reason we have so much trouble with it is the tendency to split it off away from just about everything else, which really cannot be done. War is intimately and permanently entwined with human nature, economics, social politics and so on. The first one guarantees we won't ever fully understand it. :)
I don't need to fully understand it. How's that for a contentious statement? It is true enough. I understand enough to know that it will always be with us. At least until human nature changes significantly. As history shows all too well, good intentions and a desire for peace account for nothing in the face of cold steel and someone with the desire and will to use it. As long as people are as they are, this will remain the case. Attempts to ignore or discount this are not only illustrative of massive ignorance but also extremely dangerous.
It should be easy enough now to see why I think Druidry of a martial focus is not only viable but necessary, or will be at some point. I can hear the outrage from Druids of every stripe, Pagans of every type. So what do I mean by Martial Druidry?
It is an easy and complex subject, as so many things tend to be when delved into beyond the surface. In simplest form it is Druids trained as Warriors. Since we are not talking Spiritual Warriors here, we can discard that from the commentary for the moment; I am fully aware of the variety of meanings modern culture puts on the term 'Warrior'. Here though I am speaking entirely of the Martial, Combat oriented sort. Believe me, the latest trend of the media to use military terminology to describe the Presidential race are, to me, offensive and ridiculous.
Does this mean we train to be an offensive group bent on being able to prosecute attacks when threatened? No, but such abilities generally come, to a degree, from preparing to offer defense in service to one's beliefs, Order, or Tribe. And it is the Defender aspect I am intent on here.
To this end is my training and study oriented; training to Defend at need. This sort of thing cannot really be done effectively within the usual groupings of people; there are too many distractions, too many disruptions. This is why so many places isolate themselves, at least to a degree. In addition, militia, which is what happens when you generally do this sort of thing, doesn't have a very good track record.; they aren't Warriors, they are citizens who occasionally learn elements of the Warrior's trade. They don't do well against true Warriors, for very good and obvious reasons. In overwhelming numbers, sure, but in this instance they are meat shields and fodder and not actually Warriors; they are making up for a smaller number of better trained people.
If I manage, at some point, to build or create the Temple and its inclusions, it will most assuredly be a place for the martial training of Druids. That is not to say it will ignore the peaceful arts, but it will have as one of its primary aspects the training of Warrior Druids, who can defend or help to defend others round about at need as well as themselves. They can provide defense for others of their Order who are not so inclined as well. There are some tantalizing hints from history that Druids trained as Warriors, or had Warriors in attendance. Granted, these hints may be nonsense; we have no way of knowing, but they are there and to be honest, I do not find them improbable.
Or perhaps simply by commenting in these ways, making the ideas known, a seed is spread that will sprout after I am gone. Who knows? While I am here, however, I will endeavor to accomplish this idea. I'll be integrating many things from many sources and as I go along I'll be adding what I'm learning now to the 'thing' or 'way' I'm currently creating. It should keep me busy for the rest of my natural life. LOL
Not for everyone, no. Few things are. Despite our fondest notions not all people have equal abilities at all things. We are all very unique despite having some things in common in large numbers.
I have a lot of martial training and skill; it is the greatest gift I have in this incarnation, the ability to easily and rapidly grasp warlike techniques and methods. I am adding to it even now. I've encouraged some others who are interested to consider doing the same, but it is up to them in fact.
A very pleasing project for me; my gifts in this incarnation are not useless as the conventional mindset would like to think. Those I serve are pleased as well, and that is not a bad thing from my perspective. If you want peace, understand war, as best you are able.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I don't think anyone can absolutely understand war; it will always be an imperfect set of ideas and theories. I do, however, think that continuously trying has great merit.
One reason we have so much trouble with it is the tendency to split it off away from just about everything else, which really cannot be done. War is intimately and permanently entwined with human nature, economics, social politics and so on. The first one guarantees we won't ever fully understand it. :)
I don't need to fully understand it. How's that for a contentious statement? It is true enough. I understand enough to know that it will always be with us. At least until human nature changes significantly. As history shows all too well, good intentions and a desire for peace account for nothing in the face of cold steel and someone with the desire and will to use it. As long as people are as they are, this will remain the case. Attempts to ignore or discount this are not only illustrative of massive ignorance but also extremely dangerous.
It should be easy enough now to see why I think Druidry of a martial focus is not only viable but necessary, or will be at some point. I can hear the outrage from Druids of every stripe, Pagans of every type. So what do I mean by Martial Druidry?
It is an easy and complex subject, as so many things tend to be when delved into beyond the surface. In simplest form it is Druids trained as Warriors. Since we are not talking Spiritual Warriors here, we can discard that from the commentary for the moment; I am fully aware of the variety of meanings modern culture puts on the term 'Warrior'. Here though I am speaking entirely of the Martial, Combat oriented sort. Believe me, the latest trend of the media to use military terminology to describe the Presidential race are, to me, offensive and ridiculous.
Does this mean we train to be an offensive group bent on being able to prosecute attacks when threatened? No, but such abilities generally come, to a degree, from preparing to offer defense in service to one's beliefs, Order, or Tribe. And it is the Defender aspect I am intent on here.
To this end is my training and study oriented; training to Defend at need. This sort of thing cannot really be done effectively within the usual groupings of people; there are too many distractions, too many disruptions. This is why so many places isolate themselves, at least to a degree. In addition, militia, which is what happens when you generally do this sort of thing, doesn't have a very good track record.; they aren't Warriors, they are citizens who occasionally learn elements of the Warrior's trade. They don't do well against true Warriors, for very good and obvious reasons. In overwhelming numbers, sure, but in this instance they are meat shields and fodder and not actually Warriors; they are making up for a smaller number of better trained people.
If I manage, at some point, to build or create the Temple and its inclusions, it will most assuredly be a place for the martial training of Druids. That is not to say it will ignore the peaceful arts, but it will have as one of its primary aspects the training of Warrior Druids, who can defend or help to defend others round about at need as well as themselves. They can provide defense for others of their Order who are not so inclined as well. There are some tantalizing hints from history that Druids trained as Warriors, or had Warriors in attendance. Granted, these hints may be nonsense; we have no way of knowing, but they are there and to be honest, I do not find them improbable.
Or perhaps simply by commenting in these ways, making the ideas known, a seed is spread that will sprout after I am gone. Who knows? While I am here, however, I will endeavor to accomplish this idea. I'll be integrating many things from many sources and as I go along I'll be adding what I'm learning now to the 'thing' or 'way' I'm currently creating. It should keep me busy for the rest of my natural life. LOL
Not for everyone, no. Few things are. Despite our fondest notions not all people have equal abilities at all things. We are all very unique despite having some things in common in large numbers.
I have a lot of martial training and skill; it is the greatest gift I have in this incarnation, the ability to easily and rapidly grasp warlike techniques and methods. I am adding to it even now. I've encouraged some others who are interested to consider doing the same, but it is up to them in fact.
A very pleasing project for me; my gifts in this incarnation are not useless as the conventional mindset would like to think. Those I serve are pleased as well, and that is not a bad thing from my perspective. If you want peace, understand war, as best you are able.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Friday, October 24, 2008
Interesting
I find it very interesting how re-engagement with an old acitivity, or engaging said activity from a different angle, can stimulate long forgotten or unused aspects of learning or training. I have been a Warrior all of my life, and a very well trained one at that, but in the realm of hand to hand combat my training has been 'formally informal', to coin a term. That is, while I learned many techniques and styles they were always short term as the demands of service don't often allow for long term immersion. The upshot was some very, very effective methods of a bastardized nature compiled into something I have always refused to even think of teaching others. O-o We'll leave it at this; this background affects how and who I am even today.
Now I am beginning to delve into a sequence of martial arts in formalized teaching sessions, with very formalized progression, so much of this built up knowledge is triggered into life. This is not a good thing, contrary to what some may think. Emptying my cup means also unlearning a set of deeply ingrained ideas and reactions to things *before* learning new ways and methods. Only after I manage this can I then look at both and integrate them into a whole of some kind, if that is even possible. I won't know until I get to that point. As a result, emptying my cup isn't like dumping a cup of water on the ground; it is a continuous and conscious process, and hard one too. Then again, the word 'gong', short for 'gongfu', refers to something that takes a lot of time and effort to learn. So Qigongfu is effectively a course of study that takes a long time to learn, a lot of effort to learn, and has Chi as the subject matter.
In short it takes perseverance, patience, and willpower to do this. I am not in short supply on any of these counts, but it is interesting to note how modern culture has tended to undermine these qualities in people by fostering the instant gratification complex, something that can muck with the flow of qi very easily.
I have, over the past day or so, tried some of the exercises I watched the students doing at the dojo. Some of these I have no problems at all with, some I have trouble with but can do, and some I cannot do at all. Yet. Push-ups are hard still due to the left arm being so much weaker than the right. That will rectify itself in time, or so I hope. Hauling the legs up over the head and touching the floor behind you I can't do at all, although I can get my legs up past vertical..if only for a short period. That too will improve with loss of fat and conditioning. The blocks and stances, the shoulder rolls, these I can do, at least on the right side with the latter. I haven't tried the left yet but will do so soon because of the clavicle there; we'll see how that works out.
The result of this is that I will be a 52 year old with a bmi over 30 and odd injuries providing entertainment for the younger folk in the area. For a time. I can't get any worse anyway. *laughs* I don't mind; the prospect does not bother me nor worry me and is as likely to provide moments of great amusement for me, and possibly for others. I take martial training seriously but there is and always has been room for laughter, especially directed at oneself.
This evening I'm going over to the dojo with the family and we'll see about a one month trial period, mainly to see how much Jen and Tali like it, and go on from there. There are other options too; a couple of Aikido dojos in Noho and a very good Quigong course in Greenfield. Amherst is closest and gets first shot. Prices are pretty much competative across the spectrum.
They use a chinese style uniform, button front with frogs, sashes for rank along with sleeve stripes. I have a suspicion that I may have to make my own outfit...LOL...comes of being huge. Whatever, we shall see how things work out.
I have no intention of stopping.
As I mentioned before I have added certain elements to my devotions each day. These are, due to necessity, mostly blocking motions and breathing exercises, along with a few knife movements. They have been very well received by Those whom I serve. This is no surprise. I have been working the signs of the elements into the exercises as well, which has had very pronounced and very interesting effects and all of this has affected the Sphere of Protection in rather interesting ways. Protection indeed! :) It takes up more time in the doing, but it is worth it. Honestly, if I had an actual temple I'd probably add in some staff or sword work, but that will have to wait.
It is said that Masters and students walk a path side by side for a time, sharing their destinies until their paths go their separate ways. I would have to agree with this, yes. If you look at how this would work over time it weaves a lovely tapestry of learning and sharing. Something to learn from.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Now I am beginning to delve into a sequence of martial arts in formalized teaching sessions, with very formalized progression, so much of this built up knowledge is triggered into life. This is not a good thing, contrary to what some may think. Emptying my cup means also unlearning a set of deeply ingrained ideas and reactions to things *before* learning new ways and methods. Only after I manage this can I then look at both and integrate them into a whole of some kind, if that is even possible. I won't know until I get to that point. As a result, emptying my cup isn't like dumping a cup of water on the ground; it is a continuous and conscious process, and hard one too. Then again, the word 'gong', short for 'gongfu', refers to something that takes a lot of time and effort to learn. So Qigongfu is effectively a course of study that takes a long time to learn, a lot of effort to learn, and has Chi as the subject matter.
In short it takes perseverance, patience, and willpower to do this. I am not in short supply on any of these counts, but it is interesting to note how modern culture has tended to undermine these qualities in people by fostering the instant gratification complex, something that can muck with the flow of qi very easily.
I have, over the past day or so, tried some of the exercises I watched the students doing at the dojo. Some of these I have no problems at all with, some I have trouble with but can do, and some I cannot do at all. Yet. Push-ups are hard still due to the left arm being so much weaker than the right. That will rectify itself in time, or so I hope. Hauling the legs up over the head and touching the floor behind you I can't do at all, although I can get my legs up past vertical..if only for a short period. That too will improve with loss of fat and conditioning. The blocks and stances, the shoulder rolls, these I can do, at least on the right side with the latter. I haven't tried the left yet but will do so soon because of the clavicle there; we'll see how that works out.
The result of this is that I will be a 52 year old with a bmi over 30 and odd injuries providing entertainment for the younger folk in the area. For a time. I can't get any worse anyway. *laughs* I don't mind; the prospect does not bother me nor worry me and is as likely to provide moments of great amusement for me, and possibly for others. I take martial training seriously but there is and always has been room for laughter, especially directed at oneself.
This evening I'm going over to the dojo with the family and we'll see about a one month trial period, mainly to see how much Jen and Tali like it, and go on from there. There are other options too; a couple of Aikido dojos in Noho and a very good Quigong course in Greenfield. Amherst is closest and gets first shot. Prices are pretty much competative across the spectrum.
They use a chinese style uniform, button front with frogs, sashes for rank along with sleeve stripes. I have a suspicion that I may have to make my own outfit...LOL...comes of being huge. Whatever, we shall see how things work out.
I have no intention of stopping.
As I mentioned before I have added certain elements to my devotions each day. These are, due to necessity, mostly blocking motions and breathing exercises, along with a few knife movements. They have been very well received by Those whom I serve. This is no surprise. I have been working the signs of the elements into the exercises as well, which has had very pronounced and very interesting effects and all of this has affected the Sphere of Protection in rather interesting ways. Protection indeed! :) It takes up more time in the doing, but it is worth it. Honestly, if I had an actual temple I'd probably add in some staff or sword work, but that will have to wait.
It is said that Masters and students walk a path side by side for a time, sharing their destinies until their paths go their separate ways. I would have to agree with this, yes. If you look at how this would work over time it weaves a lovely tapestry of learning and sharing. Something to learn from.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Temples, monks, and we
Temples, in the sense that the origin word 'Templum' was used, are interesting things. They were more an outline of a building or complex of buildings created by an augur and built to unite the geometries of Heaven and Earth. The term 'Temple' dates to sometime around the 6th Century BCE, but now includes time periods far before this. For my purposes the common meaning of the word as well as the old meaning are equally useful; a place to practice spirituality, unite the geometries of Heaven & Earth, and a home for monks, of a sort.
'Monk', as with 'Temple', originally meant someone who practiced a form of asceticism to enhance spirituality over worldliness connected to one degree or another with some form of separation. Generally the monk would practice with others of like mind and limit interaction with 'outsiders'. In Greek the term still applies to males or females, but just about everywhere else 'nun' is used for women now. These days the term 'monk' evokes certain images, either of a Shaolin practitioner or of a tonsured guy in robes; Friar Tuck, Benedictines and so on. For my purposes its earlier meanings are suitable.
So 'monks' and 'temples' tend to fit together, although many people today would say monks live in monasteries as opposed to temples. Temple tends to bring to mind the orient or Israel in many people.
My path has been interesting; evolving over time with bits and clues falling into place as I grope along that path. Seeds have been sown, by me, with my help, because of me and others, and perhaps some of those will sprout in due time.
I will not be a Mentirn; while I teach them now and then, that group has taken on a life of its own, and a good one it is too I might add, but it is not my lot to follow that path. I have a family, for one thing, and my duties as Priestess create an altogether more open and visible set of tasks for me.
It was my intent to someday create a Chapter House of sorts, of the AODA. I still intend this, but the building of the Temple comes first. Mistress Heron showed me a drawing of what it may look like, at least in layout. Or perhaps it is what I should build if and when I get the chance; I'm still sorting that one out. But a Temple there will be, with grounds for study, contemplation, and the practice of warrior skills in this...whatever it is I am creating. Other things too of course. This sort of life appeals to me greatly I must admit, and that's mildly surprising to me although I'm not sure why that is so.
I find it interesting that I had searched for some martial arts teachers in Gung Fu for Tali off and on without much luck; the places I wanted were far off. Well, not anymore. There's a place that teaches Shaolin styles in Amherst now, and there I will take Tali to look things over. In addition, I'll be chatting with the Sifu about various styles, asking some questions and getting his thoughts on some things. It has been many long years since last I practiced martial arts in any formal setting; Aikido and some others were my interests then, but that changed over the years as I made things my own in many ways. Now it is hard Qigong and its variants. So here's an opportunity, suddenly, just at this time and in this place. And they have no qualms teaching those in their fifties, and can accommodate different conditioning levels, or lack thereof. Interesting. I don't believe in coincidence like this.
Doors open and gates become active, opportunities arise and must be taken lest they slip away unrealized.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
'Monk', as with 'Temple', originally meant someone who practiced a form of asceticism to enhance spirituality over worldliness connected to one degree or another with some form of separation. Generally the monk would practice with others of like mind and limit interaction with 'outsiders'. In Greek the term still applies to males or females, but just about everywhere else 'nun' is used for women now. These days the term 'monk' evokes certain images, either of a Shaolin practitioner or of a tonsured guy in robes; Friar Tuck, Benedictines and so on. For my purposes its earlier meanings are suitable.
So 'monks' and 'temples' tend to fit together, although many people today would say monks live in monasteries as opposed to temples. Temple tends to bring to mind the orient or Israel in many people.
My path has been interesting; evolving over time with bits and clues falling into place as I grope along that path. Seeds have been sown, by me, with my help, because of me and others, and perhaps some of those will sprout in due time.
I will not be a Mentirn; while I teach them now and then, that group has taken on a life of its own, and a good one it is too I might add, but it is not my lot to follow that path. I have a family, for one thing, and my duties as Priestess create an altogether more open and visible set of tasks for me.
It was my intent to someday create a Chapter House of sorts, of the AODA. I still intend this, but the building of the Temple comes first. Mistress Heron showed me a drawing of what it may look like, at least in layout. Or perhaps it is what I should build if and when I get the chance; I'm still sorting that one out. But a Temple there will be, with grounds for study, contemplation, and the practice of warrior skills in this...whatever it is I am creating. Other things too of course. This sort of life appeals to me greatly I must admit, and that's mildly surprising to me although I'm not sure why that is so.
I find it interesting that I had searched for some martial arts teachers in Gung Fu for Tali off and on without much luck; the places I wanted were far off. Well, not anymore. There's a place that teaches Shaolin styles in Amherst now, and there I will take Tali to look things over. In addition, I'll be chatting with the Sifu about various styles, asking some questions and getting his thoughts on some things. It has been many long years since last I practiced martial arts in any formal setting; Aikido and some others were my interests then, but that changed over the years as I made things my own in many ways. Now it is hard Qigong and its variants. So here's an opportunity, suddenly, just at this time and in this place. And they have no qualms teaching those in their fifties, and can accommodate different conditioning levels, or lack thereof. Interesting. I don't believe in coincidence like this.
Doors open and gates become active, opportunities arise and must be taken lest they slip away unrealized.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Friday, October 17, 2008
Watching
I was sitting outside today, doing not much other than watching the clouds and flights of birds. The clouds are the wispy cirrus sort, fair weather clouds some call them, high up and in places stirred by the wind into various shapes. I saw a pair of dragons flying, a great phoenix rising, and a cup lying on its side. I saw a flight of birds suddenly scatter and tumble about before finally resuming their order and direction of flight.
I spent time watching the sign language of the tree branches as they moved in the breeze, watching the colorful leaves fall and the green ones remaining flutter.
I sat and listened to the apple tree Jeni is growing as it murmured in its sleepy young voice and studied the turns and twists of its trunk.
I watched the sand and dirt flow in the breeze and considered the confused movements as it passed through grass.
I saw geese flying North in one long oblique line, and a solitary bald eagle cruising over the river.
Interesting signs and images to contemplate.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
I spent time watching the sign language of the tree branches as they moved in the breeze, watching the colorful leaves fall and the green ones remaining flutter.
I sat and listened to the apple tree Jeni is growing as it murmured in its sleepy young voice and studied the turns and twists of its trunk.
I watched the sand and dirt flow in the breeze and considered the confused movements as it passed through grass.
I saw geese flying North in one long oblique line, and a solitary bald eagle cruising over the river.
Interesting signs and images to contemplate.
May the Gods make smooth the paths before you.
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Leaves of Crimson & Gold
I awaken in an unfamiliar place; the walls are plaster and the ceiling is thatch. I'm lying on a soft mattress of thickly stuffed linen and the scent of lavender is evident. The mattress is, in turn, lying on a bed platform built into the wall. There is but the single room, at the far end of which is a small hearth. A small table under a single window near a door completes the layout. I am cold as the fire has died away.
I roll out of bed and dress myself in pants, boots, and tunic over which I don a robe of sorts. Hanging on the wall near the hearth is a sheathed sword and knife, which I recognize as my own, as well as a bow resting on pegs and a quiver hanging nearby. My staff leans in the corner. There is a partial loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese, a pitcher of water on the desk and some smoked or salted meat hanging from the rafters. I cut a slice of meat and break my fast, glancing out the window as I do so.
I'm thinking this must be a meditation hut, a place to retreat to for introspection. The hut appears to be located in a wood near a brook and it is most assuredly Autumn given the glorious gold and crimson leaves on the trees and vines within sight. The air is brisk but fortified with food and clothed I am comfortable enough. The sun is recently risen and the light comes from the left so the hut is facing South or somewhat southerly. The air has that slightly dusty-musty smell of a dry Autumn day and I smile as I love this time of year beyond all others.
Finishing my repast I step outdoors and stretch, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face despite the coolness of the air itself. A boar steps from a thicket to my right and says "It is about time."
I blink. I'm entirely nonplussed. The boar just spoke to me. I rub my eyes but it is still there, so, feeling a little off I ask "About time for what?" The boar sits and regards me for a moment. "You don't know?" I'm really rather confused at this point and admit that no, I do not know what it is time for. "You have slept overlong and it is well past time to be about the business." Obviously the animal expects me to know what he means, but at the moment I'm absolutely in the dark. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not even sure of where I am, though it is a lovely place and I like it well enough." The boar snorts and vanishes into the thicket with a parting comment "It is past time.".
Okay, that was strange enough. I look around for a moment, wondering what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I hear a raptor scream and looking up note a huge red-tailed hawk on a massive oak not far away. It looks at me for a moment and screams again, then says, clear as a bell "You must dance like a breeze to pass the obstacles." then launches himself into the air and spirals up and away.
Right, okay, I'm realizing by now, dense one that I am, that this is a dream and I'm in another place. I walk over to the brook and there near some dense saplings stands an awesome stag. He regards me and I expect some kind of statement but he says nothing, simply shaking his antlered head and pawing the ground. I seem to smell the heady scents of Summer around him as he turns and bounds into the wood.
Looking down into the brook I see...fish. A closer look tells me they are not trout but instead are salmon of some sort. Not a type I've seen before but similar enough to know what it is. One of them drifts near the surface and eyes me. "Flow like the water, soft as down yet sharp as diamond, the boundary of one and another, the stuff of Life." All I can do is nod at this and the fish sinks deeper into the brook. A sharp chuffing grunt from behind makes me nearly jump out of my skin and I turn to see a bear....a mucking huge bear sitting, yes sitting, just behind me. How it got there without me hearing it is an interesting thought I don't have time to pursue at the moment.
The bear looks at me for a moment and shakes his great head. "You are slow today and that is not like you. You must pull yourself together as you will shortly meet someone new, someone who will help you when you need it, and inspire you when you think you don't." I look around, seeing none but the bear when it occurs to me to ask "Where is the Dragon then? I have seen a Hawk which is Air, a Stag which is Fire, a Salmon which is Water, and now you, a Bear which is Earth. But the Dragon has ever been my guardian and counselor, where now is he?" The bear regards me for a moment and tells me Dragon is here but not seen as is his wont; he knows what is to come and finds it good.
After a moment a flapping of wings is heard and I turn again. Settling on the ground near the brook is a Great Blue Heron. It crosses my mind that people often don't realize how big these birds are until they are up close. The bird regards me for a moment and shakes it's bill at me. "You are scattered and asleep still. That will change. I will teach you. Patience you have, precision you must perfect, and it is past time for this. You are late in being ready but we will do what we may with what is given us."
I just stare at her, still not fully aware of what is going on but somehow sensing my own stubbornness has led to this, at least in part, and I know I want to rectify that. Looking at the Heron, then the Bear, I glance down at the brook and the Salmon there, then cup my hands and scoop up water, letting it run from my hand back into the brook. I look to the Heron again, finally getting it; "My cup is empty now, if you would help me fill it I am ready." Heron nods and tells me to seat myself for the studies are to begin. Around me the golden glow of Autumn is punctuated with the crimson glimmer of Life.
This is the dream that triggered several meditations and realizations and I'm still unpacking it along with some others since. There is a LOT packed into this. Perhaps my previous post will be a little clearer with this to add perspective.
This morning I drew Elder, Aspen, and Ivy; Healing, Courage & Endurance, and Progress & Tenacity respectively. The Hallows card was again Sovereignty.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Heron's student
I roll out of bed and dress myself in pants, boots, and tunic over which I don a robe of sorts. Hanging on the wall near the hearth is a sheathed sword and knife, which I recognize as my own, as well as a bow resting on pegs and a quiver hanging nearby. My staff leans in the corner. There is a partial loaf of bread, a wedge of cheese, a pitcher of water on the desk and some smoked or salted meat hanging from the rafters. I cut a slice of meat and break my fast, glancing out the window as I do so.
I'm thinking this must be a meditation hut, a place to retreat to for introspection. The hut appears to be located in a wood near a brook and it is most assuredly Autumn given the glorious gold and crimson leaves on the trees and vines within sight. The air is brisk but fortified with food and clothed I am comfortable enough. The sun is recently risen and the light comes from the left so the hut is facing South or somewhat southerly. The air has that slightly dusty-musty smell of a dry Autumn day and I smile as I love this time of year beyond all others.
Finishing my repast I step outdoors and stretch, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face despite the coolness of the air itself. A boar steps from a thicket to my right and says "It is about time."
I blink. I'm entirely nonplussed. The boar just spoke to me. I rub my eyes but it is still there, so, feeling a little off I ask "About time for what?" The boar sits and regards me for a moment. "You don't know?" I'm really rather confused at this point and admit that no, I do not know what it is time for. "You have slept overlong and it is well past time to be about the business." Obviously the animal expects me to know what he means, but at the moment I'm absolutely in the dark. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not even sure of where I am, though it is a lovely place and I like it well enough." The boar snorts and vanishes into the thicket with a parting comment "It is past time.".
Okay, that was strange enough. I look around for a moment, wondering what it is I'm supposed to be doing. I hear a raptor scream and looking up note a huge red-tailed hawk on a massive oak not far away. It looks at me for a moment and screams again, then says, clear as a bell "You must dance like a breeze to pass the obstacles." then launches himself into the air and spirals up and away.
Right, okay, I'm realizing by now, dense one that I am, that this is a dream and I'm in another place. I walk over to the brook and there near some dense saplings stands an awesome stag. He regards me and I expect some kind of statement but he says nothing, simply shaking his antlered head and pawing the ground. I seem to smell the heady scents of Summer around him as he turns and bounds into the wood.
Looking down into the brook I see...fish. A closer look tells me they are not trout but instead are salmon of some sort. Not a type I've seen before but similar enough to know what it is. One of them drifts near the surface and eyes me. "Flow like the water, soft as down yet sharp as diamond, the boundary of one and another, the stuff of Life." All I can do is nod at this and the fish sinks deeper into the brook. A sharp chuffing grunt from behind makes me nearly jump out of my skin and I turn to see a bear....a mucking huge bear sitting, yes sitting, just behind me. How it got there without me hearing it is an interesting thought I don't have time to pursue at the moment.
The bear looks at me for a moment and shakes his great head. "You are slow today and that is not like you. You must pull yourself together as you will shortly meet someone new, someone who will help you when you need it, and inspire you when you think you don't." I look around, seeing none but the bear when it occurs to me to ask "Where is the Dragon then? I have seen a Hawk which is Air, a Stag which is Fire, a Salmon which is Water, and now you, a Bear which is Earth. But the Dragon has ever been my guardian and counselor, where now is he?" The bear regards me for a moment and tells me Dragon is here but not seen as is his wont; he knows what is to come and finds it good.
After a moment a flapping of wings is heard and I turn again. Settling on the ground near the brook is a Great Blue Heron. It crosses my mind that people often don't realize how big these birds are until they are up close. The bird regards me for a moment and shakes it's bill at me. "You are scattered and asleep still. That will change. I will teach you. Patience you have, precision you must perfect, and it is past time for this. You are late in being ready but we will do what we may with what is given us."
I just stare at her, still not fully aware of what is going on but somehow sensing my own stubbornness has led to this, at least in part, and I know I want to rectify that. Looking at the Heron, then the Bear, I glance down at the brook and the Salmon there, then cup my hands and scoop up water, letting it run from my hand back into the brook. I look to the Heron again, finally getting it; "My cup is empty now, if you would help me fill it I am ready." Heron nods and tells me to seat myself for the studies are to begin. Around me the golden glow of Autumn is punctuated with the crimson glimmer of Life.
This is the dream that triggered several meditations and realizations and I'm still unpacking it along with some others since. There is a LOT packed into this. Perhaps my previous post will be a little clearer with this to add perspective.
This morning I drew Elder, Aspen, and Ivy; Healing, Courage & Endurance, and Progress & Tenacity respectively. The Hallows card was again Sovereignty.
May your days bring many blessings and carry few burdens
Cyfnos Gwynt /|\
Heron's student
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