Evening Thoughts

Garden watered, evening winding down.

I have increasingly simplified my life over the years. Perhaps not steadily, and sometimes losing a bit of ground, but always moving forward again eventually. I still have a long way to go before I get where I would like to be. I find I much prefer simpler and harder over complicated and easy...it is worth more to do the work. It feels better..and I feel healthier for it.

I have changed my eating habits several times, trying to find something I could not only live with, but liked. These days I eat more like a monk or nun, really. Very simple fare...and my stomach capacity has shrunk, which has brought other desirable changes along with it. I also feel more alert, more energetic.

I have always meditated, but I have expanded that and prioritized it and included it in my health regimen in ways I hadn't before. I use visualization along with it to 'set' ideas and goals, as well as behaviors. It has worked well so far, though it is still early on yet.

The more time I spend in the garden, the more at peace I feel. In some ways, much as Brother Cadfael says in the series, I have taken the simple life for my 'cure'. I have an old and often weary soul and working in the garden and living simply is sweet balm for it all.

The drama over last weekend illustrated a number of things, not least among them that I have little tolerance for the sort of thing that erupted. After recovering I have been able to consider with a clear mind. As I stated before, there will be many changes...and that is before the Grove becomes an organized group again, which it will, a some point. The name remains he same.

A Circle, or Grove, is only as safe as those within it make it. We all carry things in with us and nothing we do will protect us from trouble..except ourselves. We control what we do or do not do, and we are responsible for it.

I think what happened rather had to happen. Well, I don't think, I know. Pressure must be released and there had been building pressure, obviously. Reset was necessary and Change almost always requires something be dismantled or destroyed to happen. You can call it Transformation, some are more comfortable with that, but it changes nothing about what happens.

I am still changing as well. As I near the end of my Ovate studies and look ahead to the Druid course in the OBOD, and as we prepare to move in ahead in our lives as a family here, I adapt and change to handle these things. Change is growth, even in the midst of destruction and wreckage.

Other changes for other folk have been set in motion by all of this, and I think people will find the benefits will outweigh the distress in good time. That is my hope, at any rate.

All things in their own time, and as they are meant to be. Change is the only constant.

Life is ever interesting.

On the Stone under the Oak /|\

Siani

Musings

This one is the badge/device/armory of Oakstone: Keep/Abbey, and Grove. The tower is a holder until a better version is done. It too will become....useful. I spent so very long trying to sort out a design for 'Oakstone' and could never come up with anything I liked. I like this one. Like the first, this is not for the SCA....I do not really care if things conflict with them or not, it is no concern of mine. 

Banners to be made for use in Grove, aye. I desire more decoration and I will have it. Some might say all of this is Stuff and meaningless, but they would be wrong; symbolism matters, even this sort, whether one cares for it or not. We as humans are always trying to find meaning in the things around us, hunting, consciously or no, for symbols of various sort. So yes, it matters. Since I am Chief Druid/Abbess of my own Grove/Abbey, it certainly matters to me. You may like it or no as best suits you, I care not at all.

In part I do this because I like designing armory..obviously! But it also stimulates the creative within me, the flow of Awen, the Muse...and so has uses beyond just the artistic nature of designing it. Nothing stands on its own, not really; everything is intertwined.

Someday there may well be an actual Oakstone Abbey. I doubt I will be around if it happens, but all things as they are meant to be and in their own time. It would be nice. Recent events have indicated that I would be extremely comfortable in such an environment. I had nearly forgotten that I had undergone the rite of becoming an Abbess. Irresponsible of me, a bit. I screw up from time to time, aye and I do.

For the time being there is no organized public form of the Abbey or the Grove. It consists of myself, and Jannat, and at times of festival, those who are invited or drop by. Even so, it will still be myself doing the rites. It still exists, obviously, but hasn't got its former group structure, not at the moment. It may well return later, but there will Rules with it which I will not make exceptions for. Even so.

Much of the work I do will happen here in our garden circle at Grēne Harow. I shall still go to the Sunwheel to observe festivals..and care for the stones. Maintaining that will allow folk who wish to drop in to do so in a known place and time. My concession to the needs of others.

I am not annoyed, and I am recovered (finally) from dealing with all of that negative energy, but I am still going to be stricter of things and people. We all learn from these things. I too have learned from the most recent drama. I do not usually have to learn the same thing twice.

Siani 

Transforming Fires

Summer Solstice, Alban Hefin, turned out to be something of a surprise. Not in a pleasant way..at least at first look. 

Transformation is often violent and tempestuous as Change asserts itself. Change is the only real constant and nothing ever happens without reason, even if we cannot see what that reason is.

Oakstone Grove, as a group incarnation, is gone. It is solo now, being embodied in myself who holds the Charter. It still accepts visitors and people invited to participate, but it is no longer a group entity. In the fullness of time it may return, probably will in fact. But it will be changed.

Like a caterpillar it has gone into chrysalis to emerge later as something the same...but different. The name is likely to change, almost certainly will in fact. Some things will be more or less the same, many things won't be. What form it takes exactly remains to be seen.

There is purpose in everything. I do not think what happened this past Sunday morning could really have been avoided, now my own mind has cleared and I have recovered. I think it had to happen. It was like a wound being lanced, pouring out pent up waste. Not just for those directly involved, but generally speaking too. Agents of Change can take any form and manifest in any way.

Flames of Passion were released and burned fiercely for a bit. Fire scorches things, but it also prepares the way for new growth. I had specially invoked the Passion of the Southern Fires during the establishment of the Grove. I do not normally focus on any one thing this way, but I did this day. I think now it was part and parcel of what was to come.

The result is that the Grove transforms..and each being present has an opportunity, and yes I am calling it that intentionally, to examine what happened, their part in it if any, the after effects, and to delve into the Self for some exploration. In short, each of us there have been offered an interesting opportunity to examine ourselves and our stances on various things.

Even in ugliness and strife there is beauty and peace. It is the way of things and personally I am glad for it, for pure ugliness and strife would be so much harder to endure without such. The trick is finding it..seeing it...rather than focusing solely on the ugly. Mind you, the ugly needs facing and examining, but it ought not be the sole focus. The opportunities that come from transformation need attention too...they need recognition of what can be.

Some people may not come again, some new folk may, once the group aspect of things resumes. Yes, it will resume at some point. Knee jerk reactions aside, and the headaches and exhaustion of fielding and grounding so much negative energy and transformative storm aside as well, the Wheel turns and the Spiral is.

Self recriminations will happen..but tempering them with a bit of careful thought is a wise thing to do. Blaming ourselves is human...and all too often taken to extremes. It matters not, now, who was at fault. What matters is what is made of the opportunities found within.

Three Marvelous Deeds: to Forgive a wrong done, to Amend everything possible, and to Refrain from injustice.

Just some food for thought. 

Siani 

Stuff

Summer Solstice is nearly upon us! Only a few days away. I'll be holding a Temple/Abbey rite in our garden at dawn on the day, and the Oakstone Grove celebration the day after at the usual time and place. 

There has been a lot going on. A serious spate of divestment, reorganization, donation, and sorting has been ongoing for a few weeks now. Space is opening up, and along with that comes an easier time shielding our home, as well as making those shields more powerful. 

It also frees up space for working on a number of projects, not least things we can sell...a slow and somewhat painful birth of our crafting work. 

Later this year, September in fact, we are off to the OBOD East Coast Gathering and 50th celebration on this side of the pond. :) I am due to undergo group initiation while there, and that rocks. I so look forward to it. The only thing that gives me pause is the drive to get there...no amount of excitement blunts that bit. So far anyway.

I have my kalimba (aka finger piano), my rhythm sticks, shaker, and didge, to go with my doumbek, frame drum, Native American flutes, penny whistles, recorder, and harps. Some are far more portable than others. A few get played in the garden.

There has been a lot of garden work lately too. After delays we are basically caught up with our work and the place has become a lovely retreat in addition to an area to grow food. We have cucumbers, two kinds of corn, squash, beans of various sort, peas, onions, cabbages, bee balm, lemon balm, borage, yarrow, tomatoes of various kind, moonflowers and morning glories, sunflowers, Jerusalem artichokes, artichokes, mullein, vervain, concord and frost grapes, brussels sprouts (for Jen), cantaloupes, strawberries, and a variety of other flowers and herbs. The garden is very verdant and we get a lot of compliments on it. 

This year there is a bench in the North, between the gapes and I built a circle about twelve feet in diameter in the center for ritual use. I wish I had done that long ago. A nice 'wrought iron' arch frames the entrance (I still have to fashion a gate). The Northern bench is a grand place to meditate I might add. :) 

I plan to observe all of my rites in our garden at this point. I still hold the Grove rites at the Sunwheel. 

I am digging out the tincture press as I have a number of things to process soon. We have our canning gear here...which is good as I suspect we will see a LOT of canning this year. 

Things are going well. Simple home life is highly underrated in modern society. To our sorrow, even if we do not know it as a whole. 

Siani