Something is at Work

Right then, so part of all of this change....or 'flowering'...as it was termed in a dream last night, is a new boldness of color. I am an Autumn complexion...what they call a True Autumn. Supposedly it means I can wear certain colors (that are hugely popular) naturally and without effort and 'better' than most others. I don't know about that but I do know that the colors and patterns of an Autumn palette suit me very well. Golds, Yellows, Oranges, Browns, and certain Greens, Purples, and Crimsons..as well as tawny toned animal prints all compliment my complexion.

For much of my life I have eschewed bright colors, being more prone to flat tones and ordinary hues. I managed to escape notice to a large extent by doing that, or keep people away from me. It made me nondescript and I was fine with that.

Not so much now. Well, I do not seek attention but the colors I am keen on using certainly will. As I have said, something in me is changing, triggered by other changes that have completed themselves. Ah well, the colors are good for dancing at any rate. Fiery colors.

I noted last night that skirts that had been too snug are no longer. While my weight is not changing so rapidly, my body shape and size certainly is. Do not get me wrong, my weight is changing, apparently (I have not weighed myself and will not until the end of the month), but more marked and noticeable is body shape and size. The toning and strengthening of muscles is a big part of this I think. Muscle is heavier than fat anyway and I am certainly developing spectacular glutes and leg muscles. Sadly, no matter how pretty the shape of my legs might get, they are forever marred by that accident; discoloration and scars. They were my best feature. That shall not, however, keep me from exposing them; I am not a terribly modest person and I am not ashamed of my 'battle scars'.

I have stretch marks on my tummy...and those won't stop me either. I take a bit of inspiration from Kawakib on that score. There's a looooong way to go before I reach a point where that becomes something to consider. LOL I will say though, that my boobs are almost the 'highest' point on my body now, when I am supine, as opposed to my tummy. This is major progress. I will keep it going.

Yet things are moving swiftly. I have not seen Herself since that last dream, except in my thoughts as I try to work out the dancing movements She used. I will see Her again, I have no doubt; She said so after all. It unnerves me, yes. Gives me the willies. Even, I may say, frightens me a bit. The Unknown can do that even to the strongest person..and I am far from the strongest of people.

People won't get a look at these changes for a bit yet; Novice Schola is the next event we are considering attending and that isn't until March 31st. By then who knows what changes will have been wrought on me by this new way of living? It has become a part of my philosophy now, and is nearly a habitual state. I figure by mid-year I ought to have it firmly in place as my habitual behavior. I hope so anyway.

At least I get continuous encouragement, both from people's observations and from the obvious changes in my body. That helps a lot.

New drum techniques to master, dance to work on, fan veils to play with (eventually), and creativity to express. Things could be a lot worse.

Where the world at large is concerned...things just get worse each day. I keep myself informed but I do not linger over it all, not these days. I've done what I can for all eventualities I can see happening, and a bit more besides, so I do not see any reason to mope or be despondent. Now I focus on getting healthy..the last real thing I have to prepare..and it should have been the first, on emotional balance and health, and mental sharpness and acuity. Through exercise, proper eating, and the expression of creative impulses.

I still do my Work...that will never change. If anything the current changes and the ongoing ones are facilitating it, not hindering it. Something I had never considered before but apparently very real. I put on my Priestess robes for folk when needed, see to the tasks that are mine to deal with, keep the Temple in order, and generally live as best I can to a healthier and more balanced way.

I will dance. For Herself, for myself, for joy,....and perhaps for things I do not yet see. Funny how something to dabble in, something one is sure one cannot do, can become something precious, and something one knows one can do. Very funny indeed.

The Path I walk has its hard places...but now and then it has easier going too...I am thankful when those come. But I think this one is here for a reason.

I still have Apprehensions about this year. I am still Restless. I feel...Wild. Fierce. I want to be Free when I feel Constrained. Something is at work....

Be well, and may Tabiti smile upon you.

Dancing through the End of Empire.

Shahzadeh Ispahani
Marakanda; abode of Jannat & Shahzadeh